Because Kim did it, and it did not require jumping off a bridge

I have a post in my draft folder. The potentially pending post is not one of my happier posts. (Please take a moment and re-read that last sentence with the alluring alliteration. Lovely.)

The post currently residing in my draft folder was penned by my alter ego, Grumbling Gus. I sent the post to one of my blogging buddies, Pleasant Penelope. She was kind enough to say the blog is mine and the rules pertaining to my blog are mine.

While wondering whether or not to publish the draft, I read my friend Kim’s latest post, which was inspired by Just Jennifer, which was initiated by The Good Life. (I’m feeling a little dizzy.)

Apparently, Stasha with ‘The Good Life’ has weekly run of ‘Monday Listicles‘, in which a question is asked requiring an answer in the form of a list.

Well, since my friend Kim did it, I figured I could do it, too. I’ll spare a rendition of “Anything you can do I can do better”, but I’d be lying if I said the song was not playing in my head. (Kim, I’m older. Cut me some old-lady slack, OK?)

Monday Listicles
The topic (not question) was submitted to ‘The Good Life’ by Just Jennifer:

10 reasons why you do or do not want more children – OR – if you don’t have kids,
10 reasons why you don’t, including if you ever will.

Based on the topic, what follows are 10 reasons I do not want more children.

  1. I’d have to have sex.
  2. I’m 42yrs old.
  3. I weigh enough already.
  4. My boobs didn’t grow when I was pregnant the other two times. What’s the point of trying again?
  5. I’d have to have sex.
  6. Postpartum depression is no fun for anyone involved, including those living with those battling postpartum.
  7. I love sleeping through the night more often than not sleeping through the night.
  8. I have reacquainted with my husband, and I like him.
  9. Kim isn’t having any more kids.
  10. I wanted boys. Only boys. God gave me two boys. And, just as one shouldn’t mess with Mother Nature – one shouldn’t mess with God. I took my two boys and went home quietly. Thank you, God!


51 thoughts on “Because Kim did it, and it did not require jumping off a bridge

  1. You should try couch sex. It’s awesome. The thing is, you can only do it there when the kids aren’t home because if they’re anything like Noah, you will get an, “I can’t sleep” from the middle of the living room and he will wonder why Mommy’s sitting naked on Daddy. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE WE DON’T TAKE THE CHANCE – I needed to make that clear.


    P.S. I love being your inspiration.

    1. Hahahahahaha! If I kissed Rob goodnight while he was sleeping on the couch, I’m guessing he’d consider that couch sex. I’m good with that. Hahahahaha. Oh, I kill me. And, I love the fact that you inspire me. You are the wind beneath my wings, Kim. Or the annoying hum of the fridge – whatever.

  2. I gotta admit that, at 52 and now unable to have any more, I wish I had had more than the 2 wonderful girls I’ve got. But when you wait until 30 to start, that’s how it goes. Hindsight, etc.

    The whole couch-sex thing is TMI. Thumbs in ears, fingers over eyes “I’m not listening, la la la!”

    1. Yes, well, I waited until I was 35 for the first and 36 for the second, Peg. I’m nearly drawing Social Security, and my kids are only 5 and 6 yrs old. Fine, so I exaggerate slightly. Though the thought of dealing with a 16yr old when I hit 52 does not sound appealing. I’ll be sure to come to you for support, OK? (smile)

      And with regards to the unmentionable mention of a couch and well…. nevermind, she said enough. πŸ™‚

      1. Let’s hear if for “advanced maternity age” moms!

        I had my first baby at 32 and my last at 36. Whenever someone tells me I was too old to have them and why didn’t I have kids when I was younger? I tell them, well, I didn’t get married until I was nearly 30 so that’s the way the cookie crumbled. πŸ˜›

  3. I had a surprise baby at the age of 40. He is a great kid and I try to do all of the things I did with his older brother with this one. It is not always easy. Then again, I was in my early 30s then without feet pain. Luckily, he has siblings to fill in what I miss.

    1. Surprise! And this is why I don’t have sex. (smile) We are the old parents, Karyn. I say respectfully. My Mom is 79 yrs old. Most friend of mine have parents in their early 60s. I remember one of my friends seeing a picture of my Dad and asking, “Is that your grandfather?” Ack.
      Keep on truckin’, Mom! You make ’em cinnamon chip cookies, for crying out loud! Those kids have it made! πŸ™‚

    1. Well, Galit – I am thrilled to find out your first visit to the neighborhood was an enjoyable visit. I hope nothing was harmed with the spitting out of your coffee. πŸ™‚ Glad I could add some laughter to your day. I genuinely appreciate you stopping by and sharing a smile with me!

  4. This was hilarious!

    What’s interesting is the fact that having lots of sex is required to make babies, but yet as soon as the baby arrives, sex will never happen again. So having more kids would work in your favor, Lenore.

    1. Hahahahaha, you make me laugh loudly, Darla! See … I don’t have to have sex, because Rob is too tired entertaining the boys, and I am too tired cleaning up after the entertainment. I see no reason to try and fit sex into our life right now. I’m not looking for more kids, Darla. But I do appreciate the advice. (smile) Glad you liked the post. I tend to crack myself up – nice to know I crack other up, too.

      1. This reminds me of what my obstetrician told me. I was all concerned about what I was going to use for birth control right after I had my second baby and he said, “Birth control? You will have two little kids to take care of…believe me, you won’t be having sex again.” Ha! Oh I laugh and cry at that memory…

  5. Don’t you wish you were one of those mothers who could pop out four babies and sit at a cafe talking on the phone while they all sat quietly eating cookies while the oldest (at four) casually reads aloud from a chapter book.

    I saw that chick the other day.

    Total freak!

    1. Julie that is just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But um, I wouldn’t mind playing that role one day just to be sure. (smile) You cracked me up by ending with ‘Total freak!’ Word.

  6. Having children is highly overrated. I wish we could go right to having grandkids – they are a lot more fun.

    I am kidding, of course, I love my 2 boys. I mean it. Really. Time of my life, etc. etc. etc.

    1. Of course you’re kidding. The tantrums, the whining, the fighting …. all worth it. And, that’s just a husband and wife talking about having a child. HA. Kidding. Love my boys like you love your boys. I wouldn’t change a thing. (Though I won’t miss their fighting. Really. I won’t.)

  7. My parents were 40 when I was born. My prof in psychology warmed my heart over my agony of having “old people” for parents. He confirmed that children with older parents are more stable. Yah whoo. That explained why I thought some antics my friends did were insane!

    But, let’s get down to the sex part. I’m an “older woman” and I tell you…sex is one of the most fantastic communication devices in existence. If it’s a job, you are too busy. Foreplay begins early. I forgot to mention this in my blog about women needing long runways to prepare for bed. It’s also about cutting out the damned busyness. Stop multi-tasking. That’s a bunch of crap fed to people who want to underpay you! Start enjoying the pleasures of fun, funny, delightful and loving sex.

    *Steps off the soapbox to write a sensuous one-sentence email to HIM.*

    1. You know something, Soul Dipper – that theory makes sense. Rob’s parents are older, too. Both Rob and I were stable kids growing up (relatively speaking). I find that though interesting.

      You cracked me up while you were preaching from your soapbox. How was the letter to HIM? (smile) For the record, I agree with everything you said, especially the long runway. That’s a good analogy. Thanks for the advice! (And, thank you for reading and commenting!)

  8. OK…here goes…my husband and I raised our grandson until he joined his mother at age 6. Why do I love my grandson so…well, he’s like a son. You do because you love them, my daughter and my grandson/son.

    1. You and your husband are awesome parents to your (grand)son and daughter! The love is evident with every post you share with us, Georgette. The letter to your grandson was so incredibly wonderful, I didn’t want to ruin it by leaving a comment. I compare it to a wonderful song sung by the choir at church and not applauding. The silence makes the song more powerful to me. The applause breaks up the beauty.

      Your grandson is a blessed boy, Georgette!!

  9. I had a daughter at age 20, definitely glad I got that out of the way while I had the energy. Now, I let her have the babies. πŸ™‚ I came into my parent’s lives in their forties, that was a double generation gap, as you probably know.

    1. Wow, Paiti – you see both sides of the coin. I loved my 20s, so I am grateful I was single and childless during those years. However, if I started having kids younger, I think I would have tried for more than two. Thank you for stopping by!

  10. You are seriously funny. I am not getting in the middle of who can do it better, you or Kim, but you both made me laugh so I want you both back next week. And if Kim can do it…

    1. Thank you, Stasha! I appreciate you visiting the neighborhood and leaving a note. I enjoyed participating in Listicle. So, you say Kim is going to participate in next week’s Listicle? Hmmm… I had better start looking for pictures. (smile)

  11. There are many reasons why I do not plan on having any children, but none of them are as funny as yours, so I’ll just say that I’m happy for those who want parenthood and are able to have it, but it just ain’t my gig πŸ™‚

    My parents were older. My mother was 35 when I was born and my father was 55 (yup, that’s a 20-year difference). My friends always thought my father was my grandfather. He would have been 95 this year and I just turned 40. While part of me wonders what it would have been like to have had younger, American parents who did normal, American stuff, I also don’t feel like I really missed out on anything. As for being more stable? Define ‘stable’ πŸ˜‰

    1. Define stable … well, for the record, my friends may disagree with my claim to be stable. After college, I think any stability I had was lost quickly. (smile) But, I did not take risks as a kid. I followed directions (for the most part), and I did not feel the need to be wild and crazy like many of my friends. I have no idea if that has anything to do with having older parents or not – but I find it interesting.

      I remember your post about your Dad. It was wonderful!

      Thanks for responding, Leonore. I am glad you found my post funny.

    1. Thank you for seeing the logic in my reasoning, Bridget. I hope to dear god Kim does not change her mind. *shudder*
      Welcome to the neighborhood! Thank you very much for visiting!

  12. Hilarious! I’ll admit I had my first two at ages 23 and 25, and then my third last year at 32. And that third was so much harder on my body than the first two. I feel way too old now to have another. But my husband would love to have so many more – if only they were free. And he doesn’t mind the activity required to get them πŸ™‚ And that just reminded me of something my oldest girl said last month. She’s a little period-obsessed because she’s at the age where some of her friends are starting, so she wants to talk about it all the time. She told me that one of her friends didn’t realize that if you don’t get your period every month, it means you’re pregnant. I then had to explain that other things have to happen to get you pregnant…

    1. Welcome, Katie! Thank you for stopping by the neighborhood. I am happy you found my post funny. Isn’t it amazing how just a few years can make a difference on one’s energy level? Though really – running after two kids, while having a third, is enough to decrease one’s energy level. Age may or may not have anything to do with it, you know?

      Your comment about your daughter worried about getting her period (or not getting it, as it were) reminds me of my youth, while also making me thankful I had boys. Not that boys don’t come with … um… issues. (smile)

  13. I wanted one more but hubbs did not. Now that I’m 48 and our kids are 25 and 18? Boom chicka mow mow. All that probably wouldn’t be happening if we still had a very young child in the mix. As it is now, we have to sneak in a grope… and we’ve been busted more than once. Oh well .. better to be caught smoochin than fighting, right?

    Fun post! MJ

    1. Absolutely, MJ! Let the kids find you smooching rather than fighting. Here! Here!
      I’m am genuinely surprised how active folks are with making “whoopi’. This new knowledge helps me sleep more easily. Other couples are doing it, so I can go back to sleep. (hee, hee)
      Glad you enjoyed the post. I am always happy to see you here.

  14. I’m much too old to have more kids–turned 53 last week. But I am enjoying grandkids. And couch sex. Of course, all of our kids are grown and out of the house–a nice benefit of having kids when we were still in our twenties.

  15. I would very much love to have another child, but I can appreciate given you list reasons one would not want to. Your list made me chuckle. What a perfect way to start settling in to four days of what I hope will be relative quiet!

    (Lack of quiet: #11 for a “no” list? Ahem!)

    1. Ah yes, Deb. You are much younger than I. You have many years in which you may enjoy Lil’D and others, should you chose. Happy holiday weekend, Deb. May it be peaceful and relatively quiet. πŸ™‚ Thank you for visiting.

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