Letting Go of Facebook … Almost

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Facebook is undergoing many changes, as is WordPress and a number of other websites. Change is inevitable. I am not against change. In fact, I change my mind several times a minute day.

I am uncertain as to whether my dwindling love for Facebook is due to the changes or due to my age. Whatever the reason, I am enjoying Facebook less and less.

Facebook is a free service, so I hesitate to moan and groan about something that is free (and completely voluntary). My thought was brought home when I found the following picture on someone’s Facebook ‘Wall‘:

Photo by: someEcards

The ever changing Facebook is creating a great deal of chatter within social media. When I saw the above picture, I laughed and vowed to keep my grumblings to myself. After a day or two, amidst the swirling commentaries of Facebook changes, I was reminded (again) that I had a choice.

That photo reminded me of the 40 days I deliberately disengaged from Facebook during Lent. Then I remembered how disengaging from Facebook for 40 days helped me connect with my writing, other writers and myself. (I also lost 7 pounds, but the weight loss was probably due to the fact that I gave up ice cream, too.)

Well, I want to disengage from Facebook again.

As I get older, I am edging out of what I assume is the targeted age group for Facebook. Then again, as I get older, Facebook is no longer my targeted destination with the start of every day. After all, I have a choice where I spend my free time.

But, Facebook does serve a purpose.

Facebook provides me with a platform to promote my blog. Which, by the way, my Lenore Diane’s Thoughts Exactly will remain on Facebook. I’m not going to ditch that shameless attempt to increase my blogging traffic. Plus, Facebook lets me see my extended family.

One of my uncles is battling Alzheimers. Through Facebook, I am able to stay in touch with my Aunt (pronounced: awnt) and their kids. I am able to see current pictures of my Uncle even though hundreds of miles separate us.

I have a cousin getting married this weekend. I fully expect pictures of the wedding to be added to Facebook. Since I am missing the wedding, I’d love to see the pictures of the wonderful ceremony and celebration.

I do not want to cut the ties of my extended family, because I want to stay current on what is going on in their lives. Plus, when my friends and family are all gathered up at the Shore, I want to see the pictures of the fun I am missing. (No, I do not have a fondness for torture, merely a fondness for pictures of the Shore. If you haven’t been to the Shore, you won’t understand.)

Though I do not want to cut the ties of family and friends, I do want to let go of Facebook… almost. Hopefully, my relatives (and any interested friends) will join my blogging Facebook page. If they don’t, I’ll have to rely on phone calls and emails. (No one in my family is fond of the phone.)

Now, going back to my break from Facebook during Lent, I found myself becoming anxious at the thought of not seeing my Facebook friends. I thought of all the things I would miss like Laura’s outdoor adventures, Bill’s fishing and boating pictures, Andrea HT’s daily greet and goodnight, debates with Dempsey, Mike’s diehard Democratic ways, and Janet – just Janet.

When the time came, I did miss that connection with pictures and words from my friends. I’m sure I will miss the connection again, along with seeing friends that – at one point in my life – were very close to me.

After the first week of October, I plan to shut down my entire personal profile, rather than ‘unfriending’ (and risk offending) a bunch of people. Please know, I do not intend to come across as arrogant, believing my lack of presence on Facebook is earth shattering. Trust me, I know better. Few folks, if any folks, will notice my absence, and that fact is fine with me.

Things have changed. I have changed.

If I am going to get lost spending time on the computer, I’d prefer to get lost while writing a new post or reading a new post. I’d prefer to get lost while writing emails to friends. I’d prefer to get lost while reading emails from friends, with an attached picture of an outdoor adventure, fishing and boating pictures, an article to debate with Dempsey, left-wing articles from Mike, or a picture of Wonder Pup from Janet – just Janet. I’d prefer to get lost in the thought of the day that I am Freshly Pressed.

By the way, when that day comes … I will quickly update my Facebook status to let the world know I was – finally – Freshly Pressed.

Oh wait. I guess I’ll have to send a ‘tweet’.

.::.

I plan on shutting down my personal Facebook page on October 8th. To my friends and relatives, please stay in touch via the new old fashioned way: email.  lenorediane(at)yahoo(dot)com

P.S. Would someone please tell me why I see email addresses listed with ‘at’ and ‘dot’ spelled out rather than using the symbols?

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32 thoughts on “Letting Go of Facebook … Almost

  1. thatgirlwhit

    i got rid of my facebook for two months recently. best. idea. ever! so liberating and frees up time for more important things like LIVING life and not peering into others’. though…i realized it has become SUCH a part of society now and THE way to communicate and share news that i re-opened it for more necessary times…ie: to be able to see photos of my new nephew.
    but anyway…good for you!

    • Thank you for visiting and commenting, Whitney.
      I will miss the pictures. I will really miss the pictures. I hope my relatives will share their pictures with me via email, and I don’t care if I have to send the email to get the pictures.
      I’m tired of the stalking. Facebook makes it seem like you NEED to know everyone’s business. Well, I don’t want to know what everyone thinks – nor do I want to know what everyone is doing. Yes, I have a blog. Yes, I share more info than people may want to know – but I try to tell a story with the information. It’s more than a quick promotion, if that makes any sense.

      Enjoy your newest family member!

  2. Oh, Lennie, you don’t need any silly ol’ FB for stalking! You’re just aces w/o it!

    Seriously, though, I totally get it. We get these bits and pieces of others and fill them in with our assumptions and our wishes and it’s no more real than reality TV. “Dancing with the Stars” aside, of course.

    I’ve seen marriages end over “first love” friends, friendships end over words misunderstood, and then there’s that creepy and very long ago and rather abusive ex who tried to “friend” me. Also, there’s my irrational fear that my father will be on FB someday. Maybe not so irrational, no?

    Still, I’m torn…when Daniel triumphs, I think the world should know–there’s always someone who wonders about a child they love, and maybe D’s progress is hope. I don’t know. And my boys, with the “up north” family stuff, I so very much want my friends, new and old, to know a bit of my boys, just to see them, if not read deep and meaningful posts–as all mine are, lol (ha!). Perhaps if my blog was better trafficked…(and whose fault is that? yes, I know) I don’t know that I’m all that interesting, even with Fuzzy and Big Boy and LRHF and yogurt-making. Being so far from what is technically “home,” and being further isolated by Husband’s work hours and so forth, I wonder if I “need” FB. Euwww, L2, please call my therapist, okay? That’s just icky. But then, not without some truth.

    I suppose we’ll watch FB evolve or devolve (myspace, anyone?) into what serves us. This will be a lovely change, as it seems be us on the wrong end, doesn’t it?

    And since they don’t make “Members Only” Jackets or grown-up swatch watches anymore, how will we know our status?
    Oh…I think I’m moving toward the light now…

    xhxhxhL1

    • Just as I will shamelessly promote my blog – I will shameless promote Dancing with the Stars. Which, by the way, Leslie, Chaz is safe for another week. Stay tuned. I’ll keep you posted.
      When Daniel has a triumph it should be shared! Call me. Email me. Or send me a tweet. (smile) Wait. Email me or send me a tweet. I might be napping, and I don’t want the phone to wake me.

      Members Only. Classic. Oh and Leslie, they do make grown up swatches. Oh yes, they do. Still … keep moving to the light..
      HugsL2

    • I agree, Kim. I told a friend recently that I felt Facebook is turning into a Wal-Mart.
      I’m a Target shopper. I like the wide and spacious aisles. The store is clean and bright.
      Whereas Wal-Mart is just big. A big cluttered mess.

      When Facebook started, it was a refreshing change from MySpace (which I never joined).
      I considered Facebook to be the Target – MySpace was Wal-Mart.
      Well, now Facebook is the ‘new’ Wal-Mart. No thanks. I’ll stick with blogging and random tweets.

  3. *shock and awe*
    But… how will you ever survive without Maffia Wars?!
    At one point (I think) someone told me the ampersand/dot thing was sometimes a ‘code / html issue’… It’s very likely I’ve completely made that whole thing up. I tend to do that, you know!
    🙂

    • I know I said it wasn’t earth shaking news, SIG – but it is. I mean, come on …. didn’t you feel the earth move a little?
      Hmm… maybe if I slam the door? Oh well.

      Thanks for the ‘411’ on the ampersand what-nots. Your reason sounds good to me. But, I have a tendency to believe everything I see and read.
      (And hear on the bus.) 🙂

  4. I have never been a fan of Face Book and the new changes, and the way ‘they’ can keep track of where you’ve been and use the information for their business partners is way to intrusive for me. So while I will still have my blogs appear on FB (and apart from one person I don’t think anyone reads them there) I wont be using FB. 🙂

  5. Val

    Curious that I’d not seen this post when I replied to your comment earlier on about not putting stuff on Facebook, lol!

    I got off FB a long time ago, as I found all the changes there a total pain. Also I came to the conclusion that if people really wanted to stay in touch with me (and me with them, as it works both ways) they’d email me… but most of them haven’t bothered. It’s not hard to log into email rather than logging into FB, but they’re so addicted to the site that it’s all they can think of. I do think FB is an addiction. Thankfully it’s one that never took hold of me. Good luck getting as free of it as you feel the need to. 🙂

    • I chuckled when I read your response to my request, Val. We were on the same wavelength. 🙂
      I am looking forward to the ‘freedom’ that comes from one less place to look for something … something that really isn’t there, if that makes any sense.
      Those that are in my life truly – will remain in my life. And with the release of my FB personal page, I’ll have more time to dedicate to my blog.

  6. Boy oh boy… this sure hit home for me. The only time I took a “real” break from facebook was about a year back… and the only thing that kept me from going on was the fact that I had my sister go on, create a new password for me that I didn’t know, and not give it to me for a week (even when I asked constantly…). I’m a total addict and it is a little shameful to admit it. Most of my friends are. Most of the rest of the world who has an acccount is… The unfortunate thing for me it is that there is no way for me to cancel it because facebook is my church’s #1 way of organizing and planning events… I’m in at least 5 different groups and we are constantly staying in contact with each other regarding the different things we have each week. It’s easy, quick, accessible… and addictive. :/ But props to you for quitting… I’m hoping that even though I can’t do the same at the moment at least I can learn some self-control and self-discipline and not be quite the addict I have become…. Be blessed!

    • Thanks, Anna. Where did your original blog go? I was following it, but I got a note it was deleted. I’ll follow your new one now.
      The world is moving to Facebook – it is true. And, I think it is perfect for your age group, provided you allow yourself time off of it to spend time in the real world. 🙂
      Blessings to you, too.

      • I just changed my blog’s name. I decided I wanted to be a little less “stalkable” online if that makes sense. People could just find me by typing my name in on google… :/ Which is technically a good thing if people who know me want to find my blog… but oh well.. 🙂 I’m glad the blogs I was following (such as yours) didn’t disappear on me in the process! And as for facebook… well – I think I’m gonna follow your example and stick to blogging more. We’ll see how that goes 😉

  7. I thought the (at) (dot) were to keep spam bots from picking up your email addy, or something to that effect. I’m finding I enjoy FB less the way it is now. I check updates a couple times a day, and there are a lot of distant family/friends that I like keeping up with on there. I’m not much of a phone person, either. I read Aunt as (ant), so thanks for correcting me. That’s the name you know your aunt by, so it should be pronounced correctly. 🙂

    • Patti, your reason for the spelling of an email address makes complete sense. Thanks for sharing that tid bit o’info.
      And, no worries on the ‘awnt’ vs. ‘ant’ thing. I am finding I am in the minority. I’m not sure my ‘Awnt’ (smile) would lose sleep either way.
      Thanks for visiting!

  8. I could have written this post word for word, Lenore. I am sick to death of Facebook. I rarely go on there now and it feels good. These new changes they’re rolling out just helps me like it even less. My in-laws just moved to Florida, so Jim’s mom is always guilting me into logging on facebook more, so she can see what her grandkids are up to…So I post pictures and try to update her that way, but honestly, I dread it now. Never thought I’d feel that way considering a few years ago, I was addicted to the daily blah blah blah status updates, etc.

    We will survive Facebook, onward and upward or something like that! In the meantime, I look forward to communicating with you through wordpress and/or email. 🙂

    • Giving it up over Lent told me I could let it go. I was pretty addicted to just checking it daily. I find that now – I dread accessing it. Not dread – but it bores me more quickly. It’s just the same thing over and over again. But, I am happy to have reconnected with folks. Hopefully, we’ll stay in touch via email.
      And, yes, I’ll be stalking you more via email in the coming weeks. 🙂 (The blog stalking is a given.)

  9. I guess I’m in the minority. I don’t watch televesion so I guess that FB has become my version of TV….soaps, perhaps? I feel indebted to FB for having reconnected me to people I had lost touch with years and years ago….good people, people worth reconnecting with. Through those connections I’ve gained some pivotal perspectives about my youth and about who I am. And I love seeing my friends’ lives documented in photo albums that they choose to share.

    The changes to FB don’t bother me at all. I liken them to changes to a newspaper’s format or the floor plan/decor of my neighborhood grocery story….annoying till I find my way around, then completely forgotten and unnoticed. I do worry some about the “Big Brother” aspect of FB. And I do agree that FB can be a huge distraction if we allow it to consume our lives.

    Enjoy your chatter-free life…and here’s to seeing you Freshly Pressed!

    • Oh, I’m still going to chatter, Linda. I’m a chatty Cathy by nature. I may be accessing Facebook less, but I’ll be chatting in other ways – for certain! 🙂
      I laughed when you compared Facebook to soaps. Good comparison.
      You’re right about changes … I think I am just tired of it, and I used the changes as my ‘out’.
      Good to see you again!

  10. Sorry I’m so late. Busy week! Just have to weigh in a few thoughts…I got onto fb January 1, 2009. I remember because our daughter’s wedding was Dec. 27, 2008. This huge shindig had happened and everyone was sharing pictures…not wanting to miss the candids, I joined and have been on ever since, mainly for the pictures and albums, especially the ones daughter #1 posts of her and grandson. No, I don’t check it several times a day, but I do check it daily…don’t want to miss a birthday. And babies born is important news. I have connected with many members of this far flung family I have, so am grateful for that too. But all the little stuff? I don’t have the time…btw I love this blog http://maggiecakes.wordpress.com/2011/09/ who keeps me current on all the long term implications/ramifications/future of fb. She really has her fingers on the pulse of this fb thing more than I do. Great post…and good for you for dedicating your time to something that means more to you. After reading a maggiecakes post or two, I have considered it. Check her out…pretty illuminating.

    • My hope is I can get my Aunts, Cousins and siblings (that are on FB) moved to my other account. If not, I’ve alerted them that I will be relying on email.
      This morning, I am looking at pictures from my cousin’s wedding in Colorado. And for that – I am grateful for Facebook.
      And MaggieCakes – that was a great article. Thank you for referring me to her. I will add her to my list of blogs to read. Excellent information.

  11. I’m over FB, too. The changes are annoying, the updates … mundane and mostly meaningless.

    I saw a FB friend when I was in my hometown recently … smiling, I approached her and the look of pure shock on her face when she realized I actually wanted to talk to her? Weird. A few minutes of awkward conversations ensued and I’ve since deleted her from my “friends.”

    I think I will do as you are … keep the blog linked and let go of the rest … Cheers! MJ

    • I am looking forward to Friday, MJ, when I let my main profile go. I believe those that are meant to stay in touch will stay in touch in other ways. We’ll see. Thanks for visiting!

  12. My blog exists because of how annoying I find facebook at times. My kid’s quotes started as a way to gently poke fun at the bragadocious posts people were making. I couldn’t stomach one more “Suzie-Q is a genius and so am I” post, so I responded by posting the outrageous behavior that was taking place in my home. It makes me feel about myself. 😉

    • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love the fact that you post things your kids say. If it was Suzy Q and her cute little self that pushed you from Facebook and to the blogosphere, then I need to send her a cute little note. (smile) We don’t need no stinkin’ cute stories. We need reality – or at least a confirmation that others can relate to the crossing of streams. (HA!)

  13. Nice post Lenore. Actually i started hating facebook. I wrote a post in my blog on bad effects of facebook also. Although i will stick to those points. But its also a fact that i found a small writer in me due to facebook. One day i wrote a note for my mother in facebook. Lots of people who were there in my friend list liked it. It all started then. So I never planned to shutting down my facebook page, but yes i lost my interest somewhat in it.

    • You are too kind, Arindam. I have some folks looking for me on Facebook, but I remain incognito. I prefer to spend my time within the blogosphere, where I can write. Having said that, I am happy to hear Facebook gave you the nudge you needed to get your writing going. I hope you’ll continue writing, too.

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