Under the Influence

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Good morning. I start this blog relatively early in the morning, but I am willing to bet I will finish the blog in the late afternoon. Join me, please, while I share some thoughts with you. Today I am influenced by a rare 3rd cup of coffee. I typically stop at two. I’m not sure good things come from three cups of coffee. Then again, today may be the day that I get tons of hits on my blog and I become famous. Hmmm . . . perhaps I should go for four cups of coffee today? Based on my shaking hands, I’ll forgo the 4th cup.

My husband is gone this morning. The church’s men’s group is helping a woman with chores around the house. She recently lost her husband, and she is overwhelmed with maintaining the house. So, while he is out, I am here with the boys. Knowing I was going to be alone with the boys made me a bit anxious. That’s sad isn’t it? I love my boys, but I get anxious when I think about having to entertain them, be at their beck and call, etc. I’m guessing if I had hobbies, I would handle the anxiety more easily, because I would keep busy.

My Mom seemed to keep busy when I was a kid. She had hobbies. I would often find my Mom in her sewing room or at the pool table, cutting out material from patterns. She would also sit and read a book on occasion. I try to read during the day, but I get distracted so easily by the noise. I seem to be able to write, though, as is evident by this post. However, while writing, I’ve had to put one child in the quiet spot and ooo and aaah over several drawn pictures. So, this posting is not uninterrupted by any stretch of the imagination.

None of this is breaking news for anyone, and I don’t believe I am composing any earth shattering literature. But, there might be one or two Moms (and Dads) out there who relate to what I am typing. I love being a Mom. Hmm …. wait. Do I love being a Mom? I know many Moms say they love being a Mom in the same breath they talk about the frustrations of being a Mom. I wonder if those Moms really love being a Mom, or if they feel obligated to love their role, fearing a backlash from others.

I enjoy being a Mom, sometimes; and sometimes, I don’t enjoy being a Mom. I enjoy the hugs and the laughter, and I don’t enjoy the whining and crying. I enjoy the silly knock-knock jokes and the snuggles, and I don’t enjoy the fighting and sibling battles. I enjoy the quiet playtime, and I don’t enjoy the need for attention. Overall, I am enjoying this morning. I am happily blogging, and the boys are happily playing together and entertaining themselves. Self entertainment is a wonderful gift. Learning how to entertain yourself early is key. Looking back, I think I relied on others for entertainment. Perhaps, if I invested more time in entertaining myself, I wouldn’t be wringing my hands with anxious anticipation, as I try to find something to do each day.

I want my boys to be able to entertain themselves. Though I enjoy playing with the boys, I don’t want to play with them constantly each and every day. I think I need to take a chill-pill. I seem to worry about so much all the time. Happily, as I type, the boys are playing with Play-doh in the other room. More importantly, they are mixing colors. Today, I decided the battle over mixing Play-doh colors was not worth fighting. As a result, the boys are playing happily and I am typing happily.

Maybe the key to being a happy Mom is enjoying three cups of coffee in the morning and mixing Play-doh colors. Who knew? What I do know is this: I love being a Mom. [The preceding statement is subject to change frequently and without notice.]

P.S. This blog was completed during morning hours.

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