I Spy

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I spy with my little eye, something the color ‘red’. ‘I spy’ is a game we play during dinner. We also have several ‘I spy’ books, which we read before bed. I’m not sure it’s the best book to read before bed, because the pictures on the pages of the ‘I spy’ book are so busy, as are your eyes and brain, as you try to find various items hidden within the busy picture. It’s not exactly a calming and quiet read.

Today my brain is as full as the pages in an ‘I spy’ book. I have so many thoughts and ideas, but I’m not sure where to take these thoughts and ideas. As I type, I can smell the Cinnamon and Sugar Yankee Candle that burns in my kitchen. I am wondering if a blog about Yankee Candle would be entertaining. No worries. I’m going with the thought that it wouldn’t be entertaining. But I must tell you, the cinnamon and sugar candle is heavenly.

I am also thinking about carrots. Yes, carrots. In an effort lose a little weight, I am trying to not eat after supper. Now that my marriage is on the mend, I find it easier to not eat after supper. While the marriage was deteriorating, I ate my way through many boxes of cookies and quarts of ice cream. [Aside: I remember back when ice cream came in half gallon containers. I miss those half gallon containers. Hopefully, when the economy turns around and the obesity rate drops, manufacturers will go back to large portion packages, including half gallon ice cream containers.]

I am not fat. My friend reminds me all the time that my BMI is normal. Although, I  must tell you, I am on the high cusp of normal at this point. The stress of a bad marriage can really pack the weight on a person. Oh wait. The stress didn’t pack on the weight, it was the one consuming the ice cream and cookies that packed on the weight. Ding dangity, I hate it when you have to own up to your actions.

Anyway, I am not fat, but I would like to drop a few pounds. Most of my bad eating takes place after the boys go to bed. And, I have found that if I eat carrots for dinner, I am literally too full to eat. There is something about the water and fiber in the carrots that fills me up. I am being serious, readers. As I type, I know there are cookies in the cabinet. And, I know those cookies would taste delicious dipped in a glass of soy milk. Yes, we drink soy milk. Move along . . .

Did I mention they are chocolate cookies? Um. Did I mention they are Newman’s Own Chocolate Cookies? Insert Homer Simpson drooling while saying, “Newman’s Own Chocolate Cookies.” Yeah. Ok. So, though I am full, saying ‘no’ to late night snacks remains a tough challenge for me. But, because my marriage is improving, the challenge is not nearly great as it was when things were at our worst. Plus, blogging helps me eat less.

I need to specify that when I use the term ‘eat’, I am referring to junk food. I am not referring to the normal breakfast, lunch and dinner. And, when I eat my junk food, I have to watch TV, and I prefer to be alone. Part of my desire to be alone when I eat is because I have an eating disorder. Remember the half gallon ice cream containers I previously mentioned? Yes. Well, I used to eat an entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting. Thank GOD for my genes. Based on my unhealthy eating habits, I should be obese.

Since becoming a parent, most of my junk/binge eating takes place when I have the house to myself or the boys go to bed for the night. And, I have gotten pretty cranky on occasion when the boys aren’t going to be on time or settling down. Why? Because I am focused on the junk that awaits me. But, by blogging, my hands and mind stay active. Blogging helps keeps the munchies at bay. I am so distracted with writing that both the time and urge to eat passes.

Couple the blogging with my improving marriage, and my ability to say ‘no’ to the unhealthy eating habits becomes stronger. I still have the cravings, but the cravings aren’t calling out to me as loud. The hole the cravings filled is being filled in other ways. And, happily, what is filing the hole is healthier than junk food. I should probably try filling the hole with exercise, too; but, let’s not get carried away. Baby steps.

And, yes, I still have the Nordic Track. Yes, I still use the Nordic Track. But, I find eating carrots for dinner is easier to do on a regular basis. Ok. Interruption. My husband just got home. Apparently he stopped at the store on the way home and picked up some Oreos. He opened the package and walked over to me, asking me if I wanted some. I said ‘no’. Then, I reminded him about my carrot plan. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo. I’ll need to have a talk with my secretary. In the meantime, I’ll stay the course of carrots for dinner and no snacks after dinner.

Hmm . . I started this thinking I would be jumping all over the place with regards to topics. However, food seems to be the sole topic. ‘I spy with my little eye, something the color . . . orange.’

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