Mr. Man will not deter me today

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If you read my post from yesterday, you know my plan was thwarted due to Mr. Man informing me that ‘no cameras were allowed‘. Well, even though Mr. Man literally sits at the little round table in front of me (no, I’m not kidding), I am not going to be deterred. I will write a post about my bestest blogging buddies.

Mr. Man, you will not sidetrack me. Though you sit across from me, and you are probably trying to hack into my laptop, ensuring all camera programs are disconnected and all picture files are deleted, I will still write. You cannot keep me silent.

You may have the ability to place a lens cap on my photos, but you cannot put a lens cap on my voice. Oh no, Mr. Man, I still have my voice. And today – today I am going to use my voice. Watch me, Mr. Man. Watch me, and listen to me. Oh, and smile for the camera. *click* Continue reading

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The following statement changed everything: No cameras allowed

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My plan was to write a post about my blogging buddies. My bestest blogging buddies. Because, and I am sorry to break the news to you, my blogging buddies and I have the best clique ever. I swear. Pinky swear, even.

I am not trying to be mean, though sometimes honesty brings with it mean undertones. So, I apologize for any negative undertones one may feel by my declaration of having the best blogging buddies. Did I say that already? I don’t have cable, either. (Did you know that, Kim, the G is silent?)

Yes, my plan was to talk about my blogging buddies. Alas, all good plans are subject to change. Especially when the plan was crafted by a woman. (d’oh!) Continue reading

Wondering and getting side tracked

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This blog was written down on paper before coming to you via the world wide web. I wonder how many writers still take pen to paper vs. hitting the keyboard straightaway. I also wonder what makes a writer a good writer. And, I wonder what station is playing in the background of this coffee house. I have the power to address one of the wonders with accuracy, but the question becomes – will I ask for the information?

I love this coffee house. Each time I have been here, the same two guys have been working. One guy reminds me of [a younger] Brian Vander Ark, from The Verve Pipe. The other guy reminds me of a slightly older version of the guy from the sitcom The Middle, Axl, played by Charlie McDermott.

If I were younger (and single), I’d definitely be interested in chatting with them in an effort to get to know them better. As it is, I am content with the typical banter that flows with ordering a cup of coffee and a veggie & hummus sandwich. I also enjoy watching the one or two particular girls that seem to frequent this place, too. One of the usual ‘Janes’ is here tonight, sitting at the coffee bar counter. She’s enjoying the attention of both guys without having to share with the other girl.

As I eavesdrop, I flash back to the days when I lived in Rockville, MD. I stumbled upon a small restaurant/bar called, Hard Times Cafe. I don’t remember, for certain, who introduced the place to me, all I remember is the guys behind the bar had me at ‘hello’. I love the look of long hair on guys. Please. I am not talking Kid Rock kind of long hair, or Billy Ray Cyrus kind of hair. I am talking Daniel Day Lewis, ‘Last of the Mohicans’ hair. [Yes, I know it was probably hair extensions; still, a girl can dream, and dream this girl did.] Anyway, the bartenders/cooks at Hard Times Cafe had long hair and looks to match. Oh, and did I mention they were in a band? Color me happy, and color me a frequent Hard Times Cafe stalker, er, customer.

I went to Hard Times Cafe as often as possible, when I lived in the area. My girlfriend and I often stayed until they closed and hung out with the staff after hours. Aside: The Brian Vander Ark lookalike just asked “Jane” if she wanted to step outside with him. Newsflash: She said yes. Big shock.

While living in Rockville, I continued stalking, er hanging out with the crew from Hard Times. My friend and I even traveled to VA (Fairfax, I think) to hear the band play a few times. I have one of the tapes from RISE, perhaps their only tape. And, I had the band’s bumper sticker on the back of my car. By the way, that is the only bumper sticker I have ever had on the back of any of my cars. Ever.

Oh, if you are scratching your head with my tape reference – well, tapes were used to listen to music back in the 90s and earlier. I am guessing you’d be hard pressed to find tapes nowadays, let alone a cassette player for which to play the tape. The music I am listening to in this coffee house is streaming through Pandora. No cassette or cassette player required!

Back to my wondering what station was playing in this coffee house. I did ask the ‘Axl’ lookalike about the Pandora station. Clearly, I am super hip, because when he told me, I responded in question, “The Ships”? Thankfully, he didn’t laugh in my face, though I also knew he wasn’t going to be asking for my phone number. “No, ‘The Shins’,” he said. “Shins with an ‘n’,” he clarified.

Hello. My name is Lenore; I am in  my 40s, and it is apparent I am not up on today’s music, even when the band is 10yrs old. However, I’m hip enough to like today’s music, at least along the lines of The Shins and their current hits. At least, I think they have current hits. And, yes, I have added The Shins to my Pandora list of stations. Who knows, ‘Axl’ or ‘Brian’ may ask me to join them outside next time I hit the coffee house. Remember, a girl can dream.

Just a Trim

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When I woke up this morning, the length of my hair passed my shoulders. I sat down and enj0yed a great cup of coffee, while starting my workday. As I waited for invoices to print, I started playing with my long hair. “What’s this?” I asked myself. “Hmm….seems I have some stray ends. I bet I could trim my hair a bit.” I sent two more invoices to the printer, got up and poured a 2nd cup of coffee.

Playing with my hair again, I noticed several spots that seemed uneven. Because my hair is one length and long, I rarely pay to get it cut. I don’t necessarily cut my hair myself, rather I typically go a year or more before stepping into a hair salon. Sipping coffee and playing with my hair, I was becoming anxious to get a haircut. Perhaps, I thought, I’ll pull out the scissors from the ‘junk drawer’ and just do a little trimming myself. After I sent another couple more invoices to the printer and took a big sip of coffee, I grabbed the scissors and headed to the bathroom.

Snip. Snip. “Good,” I think to myself. “That should do it.” I grab my hair and slide my hand down the length to check for stragglers. Noticing a few more strands needing to be snipped, I once again grab the scissors. Snip. Snip. Then, I head back to my desk, finish printing the remaining invoices and top off my coffee a third time.

Wait. Did I miss some stragglers again? I go back to the bathroom with the scissors and start snipping again. You know how celebrities and models pay big bucks for unique styles? You know how some celebrities, models and rock stars have funky and uneven cuts? Yeah, well. One need not pay an arm and a leg to have that cool ‘uneven’ look. Just drink three cups of coffee in the morning, grab your scissors – and ta da! Your shoulder length hair can become an uneven bob in no time! [Note to self: Caffeine, scissors and hair do not mix.]

They have a pill for that

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First, I am sitting at my local coffee joint, where they offer free WiFi and coffee served at a drinkable temperature. I absolutely love the fact that I can order a cup of coffee here and take a sip immediately, without scalding my mouth. Clearly, I am not sitting at a Starbucks. And, you will not find any ‘caution: contains hot liquid’ in this joint. Scalding is not the passion of this coffee house; instead, this place has a passion for providing wonderful coffee at the perfect temperature.

Ok. There is no second, so I should not have said ‘first’. Oh well.

I am certain there is a pill available to cure what ails me. This weekend I am battling all the symptoms that come with PMS. The worst symptoms of PMS for me are an increased lack of patience and anger/rage. Earlier today, I yelled at my husband for no good reason. Sure, I had several reasons at the time of my unleashing, but the sane side of me (which still exists amidst the crazy) knew my husband had done nothing wrong. In fact, the monologue of rage was completed, when I closed my eyes and came back to reality, calming stating what was real.

When not in the throws of PMS, I have come to accept my husband completely. This acceptance did not come easy, and it has only come recently. I no longer have major expectations of my husband. I accept the fact that he and I are different in many ways, and I see the value in our differences. (God knows, I could not handle him if he were crazy like me.) Perhaps more importantly, I accept my role in life. I accept how I respond to things, how I see things and how I have the ability to change my responses and perceptions.

I know my role in this life is to be the [main] disciplinarian in the house, to be the book and house keeper, to be the decision and appointment maker/keeper, etc. And, I know my controlling tendencies makes me a perfect candidate for the aforementioned roles. Also, I know that if any of these roles were to disappear, I would be lost. Yes, I would eventually find myself again, but I would miss the role I had played. I think I am good at my role. No. Scratch that, I think I am damn good at  my role. The best? Perhaps not the best; then again, for my life, I am the best.

One of  my biggest challenges right now is the affects of PMS. This is something that will occur every 28 days (or so) for the next 5 – 10 years. What’s worse, I hear the affects of menopause could be equally as challenging as PMS. And, as I said earlier, I am sure there is a pill I could take to ease the affects of PMS, but I’d prefer to find a pill-free way to cope. I’d like to find a medication-free way to deal with the crazy and keep my family from seeing the crazy.

I’ve had one friend suggest an IUD to help balance the moodiness. I’ve also had a friend recommend Yaz. I appreciate their advice. But, I am already living with the side effects of taking sertraline (Zoloft), which includes weight gain, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, etc. I’d rather not put more meds in my body and start battling more side effects. Plus, I do believe changing the natural chemistry of the body increases the chances of things like cancer, diabetes, etc.

I’m no Natural Nancy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Natural Nancy (or Natural Nate, for that matter). Still, I prefer to keep my chemistry and hormone levels at its natural state. If I find I a become stricken with Cancer, rest assured I will sign up for whatever treatment is available to me. Until then, the human body is a miracle in and of itself. It throws all of us curves every now and again. When left to its own devices, though, the body heals itself.

So. Where does that leave me today? While I am overcome with a lack of patience and crazy frustrated with the slightest glitch in the day, what can I do to muster through it, keeping my relationships in tact? Suggestions? I’d love to hear what you suggest. I can tell you, coming to this local coffee joint is doing me good. The music in the background, the coffee and veggie and hummus sandwich are all good. I am guessing getting out by myself is a great way to control the crazy. I asked my husband yesterday, if he wanted me out of the house. Though I believe part of my husband wanted me gone, he told me he wanted me to stay. And, we made it through the day. We even took the boys to a park and spent some great time outdoors. Sure, even while enjoying the beautiful outdoors, I had moments of crazy crankiness, but we all lived, happily even.

Tomorrow is Monday. My husband and I will go off to work, and our boys will go to their day care provider. We’ll find time to ourselves, as we take part in the routine of the work week. I find solace in the routine of our work week. Perhaps by the end of the work week, this month’s PMS battle will be completed, with little to no casualties. In the meantime, please excuse me. I just received a refill of freshly made decaf coffee, and I’d like to sip, surf and enjoy. Good day.