Good morning. My word for today is decompress. As I type, I am sitting by my husband and enjoying a casual Saturday morning. The boys spent the night at their grandparent’s house, last night. My husband and I went out for Mexican food and then enjoyed a quick trip to Target. We came home early, and we popped in the movie ‘The Hangover’. The movie started off funny enough, but we became bored with it after 45 minutes or so. As my husband said, “It just got silly.” I smiled when he said that, because ‘Raising Arizona’ is one of his favorite movies, which is nothing but silliness. I suppose his shrugging off ‘The Hangover’ is an indication of his age. Old silly movies are classics, new silly movies are just a waste of time.
My husband and I are still working on reconnecting with each other. We have a long way to go, but we are making progress. This night/morning off is a good sign. We actually had nice conversations last night, and this morning we’ve had some good conversations, too. There are chores and tasks to tackle in the house this morning, but my husband and I are letting those chores and tasks wait. No hurry. We decided it is better to invest in our relationship. And, much like women need to get warmed up before having sex, I find I need time to decompress before I can truly ‘be’ with my husband.
I won’t claim others are like me, but I don’t believe I am alone. As a Mom, I am always ‘on’. If the kids are under the same roof with me, my feelers are tuned in and I try to keep up with their every move, need, etc. Even if they are outside with their Dad, I feel the need to be ‘on and ready’. When the boys are not home, I need time to turn off my feelers. I remember the first time my oldest spent the night with his grandparents. I swear, I heard him cooing and crying while I tried to sleep. Turning off my feelers is hard. It takes several hours before I ‘hear’ silence, but I am getting better.
I was able to decompress faster this go ’round, in part because the boys got to their grandparent’s house by Noon. This gave me over four hours to hear the silence. When my husband came home from work, I was in a more relaxed state than I would have been had the boys just left. It’s complicated. It really is complicated, at least for me. However, I am getting better. My husband and I had a conversation filled dinner. This is good news, people. We chatted, we laughed and we had a good time. And, while shopping at Target, we chatted and laughed. Good times.
This morning, we are chatting, we are laughing and we are enjoying down time together. He has had a chance to decompress, and I have had a chance to decompress. Having time to decompress does a body good, and it does a relationship even better.
We are planning a weekend getaway for March. Reservations are going to be made on Monday for the March trip. I am looking forward to that weekend. For the first time, in a very long time, I am able to decompress and enjoy my husband again. And, as I decompress, my husband is able to enjoy me again. Yes, we still have a long way to go, but with every positive step forward, we are encouraged to take another step forward. And, with every misstep, which does happen, we don’t let the misstep get the better of us. The month of March is going to be a wonderful month for our relationship. I am looking forward to it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. My husband and I are hungry. We are going to eat some breakfast and continue enjoying this time together. I hope you are able to decompress and enjoy your day, too.