Coffee, bagel and people watching

This morning I walked to Einstein Bros Bagels for a cup of coffee and a bagel. I enjoyed my morning meal sitting at a table for one. And, as I sat waiting for both the coffee and the bagel sandwich to cool down to a safe edible temperature, I looked around at the people also enjoying coffee and baked goods.

People watching is one of my most favorite hobbies. My imagination runs wild when I see people out and about in the world. I know what I envision in my mind is no where near what the reality is for the people I see, still I have fun creating various stories. This morning was no different, though much of what I observed seemed too real. Sitting in small restaurants, it is hard not to hear the conversations that take place around you. And, people seem less aware of their surroundings these days, as they walk around lost in conversation on their cell phones. I am amazed how many bits of information are shared quite loudly during cell phone conversations. I often wonder if the person on the other end realizes the person with whom they are speaking is making their ‘private’ conversation public.

This morning I did not see too many people on their cell phones. Instead, I actually noticed people interacting with each other live and in person. A novel concept, it seems. Two Moms were gathered at one table, each with their kids in tow. It was evident by one of the Mom’s teary-eyed expression that she was going through a hard time. At another table, I noticed a woman meeting with some sort of agent. At first, I thought it was her lawyer – a divorce lawyer perhaps. I found myself focusing on her, as I recently met with my own divorce lawyer.

I am no longer divorcing my husband, we have agreed to work things out together. Still, I look at other couples closely. I wonder how their marriages are working. If they have lows. And, assuming they do have lows, I wonder how low their lows get.

Anyway, at first, as I said, I thought this woman was meeting with her divorce lawyer. They were definitely discussing paperwork, financial expenses, etc. But, as their meeting ended, it seemed they were merely discussing the selling of a house or something else along those lines. Truth be told, I’ll never know what they were discussing. And, you are right, it is none of my business. Still, as I observed this woman talk with her lawyer, it gave me pause about my own relationship. I am certain folks can relate to what I am currently experiencing in my relationship/marriage. And though this woman may be happily married, it let me know that folks face challenges all the time.

The Mom that was teary-eyed. I don’t know her story, but I recognized the sadness. And, I found some sort of remote bond with this mystery Mom. Though I sat at a table by myself, I didn’t feel alone. I could see people sharing their struggles with others. And, it was apparent to me, again, that we all struggle – we all have challenges.

Another table caught my eye this morning. Well, not the table, but the people sitting at the table. A man and woman. The man had a wedding ring on his hand, so I will assume they were husband and wife. However, I didn’t see the woman’s hand. I don’t know if she was wearing a ring. What stood out to me was her body language. He was sitting at the ‘head’ of the table, and she was sitting next to him. She was leaning in towards him, looking him in the eye. Their interaction seemed so intimate. I questioned whether they were newlyweds or two people having an affair. Truthfully, I don’t care what to label their relationship, I just want to know how they have that spark. I want to know how to have that kind of intimacy that can be shared with simple body language and eye contact. My heart races just thinking about it.

My husband and I are not divorcing, but we have a long way to go to fix what is broken. Perhaps, a way we can reconnect and rebuild our marriage is by going to a bakery once or twice a month for a cup of coffee, a bagel and some intimate interactions.

3 thoughts on “Coffee, bagel and people watching

  1. I think I’m one of the 3…right? Anyway. Good for you Lennie Vo – doing something that interests you. Yes, I do tolerate your babblings and ramblings because occasionally something intelligent comes out of your mouth! I’m just kidding – you know that! But really – I do love you because most of all – you have a good, kind heart and you are honest. Can’t beat that.

    I now this is your outlet but I want to offer one piece of advice. Don’t focus so much time on your blog that you don’t leave time for repairing your marriage. It’s so easy to give our attention to things that are easy to deal with so that we don’t have to think about those that are stressing us out. That’s it.

    Love ya! Mean it!

  2. Okay Leanord, my second comment today 🙂

    I really appreciate your honesty and observations. I just finished a wonderful book in which I discovered this gem of a quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle” (Philo of Alexandria as quoted in Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor).

    I am definitely guilty of being so caught up in my own life that I am oblivious to – or quite frankly just do not take the time to care about – the reality that we are all struggling in our human experience. The challenges we face can be vastly different but nonetheless we are all “fighting a great battle”…

    I wish you peace, clarity and deinitely joy as you journey on.


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