Dear Dorris,
I am breaking up with you. You are too distracting.
Believe me this is harder for me than it is for you. You are the reason I love circuitous routes. You are the reason I want a donkey. Well, really I want a horse, but I’ll take a donkey.
You are the reason I look forward to taking the kids to school in the morning. Dorris, you make driving fun.
A smile appears on my face when I see your beginning.
The smile grows wider and wider, as I travel up, down, and around your path, surrounded by beauty on either side of me.
The smile slowly fades when I see your ending. But, every time I leave you, the anticipation of seeing you again keeps me going.
But Dorris, because of you, I’m going to sound a great deal like a Kelly Clarkson song.
Because of you, I was enjoying the ride to Joe’s school. Because of you, Joe and I were talking about the wonderful day. Because of you, I was speeding. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the speed limit. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the road. Because of you, I did not see the police officer.
Because of you, I got a ticket.
Dorris, on this particular morning, in addition to talking with Joe and enjoying the sights, I was smiling at the thought of my incredibly humorous drabble about the dumb blond who took the “End Road Work” and “End Increased Speeding Fines” signs to mean there was a group of people striking against road work and increased speeding fines. She took the cause on as her own, but she had a hard time moving the protest signs. And well, Dorris, it was funny.
You get it, right? “End road work!” “End increased speeding fines!” See, Dorris? Funny, eh?
I was driving amidst the beauty and smiling with certainty that my blogging friends would praise me, my writing and my humor.
The interesting thing about that post, Dorris, is the fact that no one got it. The thought was way funnier in my head than it was in print. I’m so embarrassed.
Thankfully, after learning the post was a dud, my spirit was lifted when I turned down your street, and I slowly traveled home at the end of the day.
Ah shucks, Dorris. I’m sorry. The ticket was my fault, not yours. Let’s be honest. That ticket was as much for the poor post as it was for speeding.
Dorris, let’s stay friends.
I’ll see you Monday morning, usual time, OK? I’m looking forward to it.
Love,
Me
Lenore's Thoughts Exactly 
Funny! Great piece here!
Welcome to my neighborhood, Deelaytful. I appreciate you visiting and leaving a note. I’m glad you had a good laugh and enjoyed the post. Cheers!
I’m glad you two crazy kids worked that out. You were made for each other. Happy Mother’s Day, Lenore.
Dorris and I need each other, Hippie. We needed to let bygones be bygones. (smile)
Happy Mother’s Day to you, too.
Was Rob mad? That would be my first thought. Oh shucks (yeah like THAT would be the word), Hot Joe is going to be SO MAD at me. Only he never is! He just accepts that I am THAT girl who breaks things and gets tickets and stuff.
He was ticketed while in Houston, TX for business. He didn’t come to a complete stop at a red-light. That ticket cost us $100. As it stands now, he is not mad. But, I was doing 50 in a 35 zone. He may be a little peeved, if the dollar amount exceeds $100. (Dorris made me do it!)
That Dorris is so understanding. Dorris knows “it’s not you, it’s me.”
But Dorris knows…you’ll be back.
And I was back – I returned, and I obeyed the speed limit, which gave me more time to enjoy the scenery. A win-win! 🙂
Now that is just not fair. Bummer! I got a warning for speeding once. On my own street. About half a mile from my house. Typical. I was only going maybe 7 miles over. I did get two tickets, one for passing a logging truck going too fast and another in the dead of Minnesota for going 20 over.
I was hoping for a warning, but 15 miles over the speed limit … well, I deserved the ticket. It’s OK. No one was injured. 🙂
Easy to get distracted by the beauty around us Leneore. I got a ticket going of ‘The Desert Road” in the centre of the north island here. I was distracted by the sight of Mt Ruapehu rising out of the cloud, showing it’s sunny snow clad top. Oh well!
I heart the fact that you got distracted enjoying the scenery, Judith. I mean, I am sorry you were fined for speeding, but you and I know the value of seeing the beauty around us, eh?
Ah, breaking up is hard to do, Lenore! Sorry to hear about the ticket. At least you weren’t driving on the sidewalk. 🙂
I’m sorry. Can you go to school and have it dropped?
Oh, and this is me not making any sort of pun about Dorris being a siren.
Perhaps it was just wishful thinking that wasn’t the true meaning of your piece, Ms. D…
what a bummer!
You should have used your incredible writer/photographer/blogger status to weasel out of the ticket – tell the officer he would be famous if you wrote about him.
Happy belated Mother’s Day!
Perhaps I’ll take your comment with me to court, and the judge will waive the ticket. That is – I hope he waives it and not waves it.
I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day, too, Peg. Thanks for your compliments!
How did I miss this? I have had a few tickets for, as I like to say, “hurrying”. Now I enjoy the scenery with the other white-haired drivers down here. Every morning I see people pulled over though – and they announce on the local news where the deputies are set up!?!?!
Nice views, eh? The hills BEG to be taken quickly, K8. Honestly, I was just doing what had to be done.