I am breaking up with you.

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Dear Dorris,

I am breaking up with you. You are too distracting.

Believe me this is harder for me than it is for you. You are the reason I love circuitous routes. You are the reason I want a donkey. Well, really I want a horse, but I’ll take a donkey.

You are the reason I look forward to taking the kids to school in the morning. Dorris, you make driving fun.

A smile appears on my face when I see your beginning.

The smile grows wider and wider, as I travel up, down, and around your path, surrounded by beauty on either side of me.

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The smile slowly fades when I see your ending. But, every time I leave you, the anticipation of seeing you again keeps me going.

But Dorris, because of you, I’m going to sound a great deal like a Kelly Clarkson song.

Because of you, I was enjoying the ride to Joe’s school. Because of you, Joe and I were talking about the wonderful day. Because of you, I was speeding. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the speed limit. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the road. Because of you, I did not see the police officer.

Because of you, I got a ticket.

See the push pin? I know, hard to see the push pin with such a gorgeous house in the way, eh? Well, the push pin is where the police man was parked.

Dorris, on this particular morning, in addition to talking with Joe and enjoying the sights, I was smiling at the thought of my incredibly humorous drabble about the dumb blond who took the “End Road Work” and “End Increased Speeding Fines” signs to mean there was a group of people striking against road work and increased speeding fines. She took the cause on as her own, but she had a hard time moving the protest signs. And well, Dorris, it was funny.

You get it, right? “End road work!” “End increased speeding fines!” See, Dorris? Funny, eh?

I was driving amidst the beauty and smiling with certainty that my blogging friends would praise me, my writing and my humor.

The interesting thing about that post, Dorris, is the fact that no one got it. The thought was way funnier in my head than it was in print. I’m so embarrassed.

Thankfully, after learning the post was a dud, my spirit was lifted when I turned down your street, and I slowly traveled home at the end of the day.

Ah shucks, Dorris. I’m sorry. The ticket was my fault, not yours. Let’s be honest. That ticket was as much for the poor post as it was for speeding.

Dorris, let’s stay friends.

I’ll see you Monday morning, usual time, OK? I’m looking forward to it.

Love,
Me

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19 thoughts on “I am breaking up with you.

    • He was ticketed while in Houston, TX for business. He didn’t come to a complete stop at a red-light. That ticket cost us $100. As it stands now, he is not mad. But, I was doing 50 in a 35 zone. He may be a little peeved, if the dollar amount exceeds $100. (Dorris made me do it!)

  1. Jackie Cangro

    That Dorris is so understanding. Dorris knows “it’s not you, it’s me.”
    But Dorris knows…you’ll be back.

  2. Now that is just not fair. Bummer! I got a warning for speeding once. On my own street. About half a mile from my house. Typical. I was only going maybe 7 miles over. I did get two tickets, one for passing a logging truck going too fast and another in the dead of Minnesota for going 20 over.

  3. Easy to get distracted by the beauty around us Leneore. I got a ticket going of ‘The Desert Road” in the centre of the north island here. I was distracted by the sight of Mt Ruapehu rising out of the cloud, showing it’s sunny snow clad top. Oh well!

    • I heart the fact that you got distracted enjoying the scenery, Judith. I mean, I am sorry you were fined for speeding, but you and I know the value of seeing the beauty around us, eh?

  4. You should have used your incredible writer/photographer/blogger status to weasel out of the ticket – tell the officer he would be famous if you wrote about him.

    Happy belated Mother’s Day!

    • Perhaps I’ll take your comment with me to court, and the judge will waive the ticket. That is – I hope he waives it and not waves it.
      I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day, too, Peg. Thanks for your compliments!

  5. How did I miss this? I have had a few tickets for, as I like to say, “hurrying”. Now I enjoy the scenery with the other white-haired drivers down here. Every morning I see people pulled over though – and they announce on the local news where the deputies are set up!?!?!

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