I am breaking up with you.

Dear Dorris,

I am breaking up with you. You are too distracting.

Believe me this is harder for me than it is for you. You are the reason I love circuitous routes. You are the reason I want a donkey. Well, really I want a horse, but I’ll take a donkey.

You are the reason I look forward to taking the kids to school in the morning. Dorris, you make driving fun.

A smile appears on my face when I see your beginning.

The smile grows wider and wider, as I travel up, down, and around your path, surrounded by beauty on either side of me.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The smile slowly fades when I see your ending. But, every time I leave you, the anticipation of seeing you again keeps me going.

But Dorris, because of you, I’m going to sound a great deal like a Kelly Clarkson song.

Because of you, I was enjoying the ride to Joe’s school. Because of you, Joe and I were talking about the wonderful day. Because of you, I was speeding. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the speed limit. Because of you, I was not paying attention to the road. Because of you, I did not see the police officer.

Because of you, I got a ticket.

See the push pin? I know, hard to see the push pin with such a gorgeous house in the way, eh? Well, the push pin is where the police man was parked.

Dorris, on this particular morning, in addition to talking with Joe and enjoying the sights, I was smiling at the thought of my incredibly humorous drabble about the dumb blond who took the “End Road Work” and “End Increased Speeding Fines” signs to mean there was a group of people striking against road work and increased speeding fines. She took the cause on as her own, but she had a hard time moving the protest signs. And well, Dorris, it was funny.

You get it, right? “End road work!” “End increased speeding fines!” See, Dorris? Funny, eh?

I was driving amidst the beauty and smiling with certainty that my blogging friends would praise me, my writing and my humor.

The interesting thing about that post, Dorris, is the fact that no one got it. The thought was way funnier in my head than it was in print. I’m so embarrassed.

Thankfully, after learning the post was a dud, my spirit was lifted when I turned down your street, and I slowly traveled home at the end of the day.

Ah shucks, Dorris. I’m sorry. The ticket was my fault, not yours. Let’s be honest. That ticket was as much for the poor post as it was for speeding.

Dorris, let’s stay friends.

I’ll see you Monday morning, usual time, OK? I’m looking forward to it.


Dancing, Driving and the White-man’s Overbite

It started innocently. I just had a few errands to run before I took myself to a local coffee shop for some quiet blogging time. Maybe the crisp spring air and clear blue skies should have warned me of what was about to take place. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the fact that the kids were staying home with Daddy. Despite the signs, I was oblivious. I knew not what was going to happen.

I started my car, pulled out of the driveway and headed out of the subdivision. Without a second thought, I opened the sunroof and let the fresh spring air surround me in my car. Hindsight tells me the decision to open the sunroof was where the day took a turn. Continue reading “Dancing, Driving and the White-man’s Overbite”