Birthday wishes and a pair of pantyhose

Lady Redundant Woman, A Villain from WordGirl

I am the counterpart to WordGirl’s Lady Redundant Woman. By that I mean, I repeat things. I am redundant. And, though Lady Redundant Woman has no real purpose in this post, I still feel the need to refer to her. I have a tendency to say the same thing more than once. I repeat myself. Who knows, maybe this post is a repeat.

Every year it’s the same story; I call days early or days late. And, every year I end the call with a sure fire way to help me remember the correct day next year. Promise. And last year? Last year, I believe the trigger was the fact that her birthday was a multiple of 7, just like my boys’ birthdays are a multiple of 7. Still, I found myself in panic mode on the 25th, wondering if I was too late. Then I questioned myself, wondering if I was too early. Then I got busy with life, and forget about it entirely. When the 27th rolled around, I remembered the trigger that was to remind me of the correct day. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, knowing I was going to get it right this time. I was going to call and wish my friend a happy birthday on the 28th.

Cue the 28th. The sun rises, the sun sets and I don’t make a call. Drat. Foiled again.

The saddest part of all? I talked with her by phone and email this past week. Two forms of correspondence – one sent the day of her birthday, and yet I failed to make note of her special day. The best part of all? She loves me anyway. See, my craziness entertains her. We’ve been friends for almost 20yrs, and she’s witnessed quite a bit of crazy. And, she has laughed quite hard, at times. In fact, while reminiscing in my mind about a key left in a hotel door, I laughed out loud. I trust she just let out a bit of laughter, too.

Me and my friend, Laura, at Hamburger Hamlet @ 1993.

I met my friend, Laura, when I moved to Rockville, MD in September 1992. I just started working for Aspen System, and I met Laura on my first day of work. We were part of a new contract between the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Aspen Systems. We were the CDC Business Responds to AIDS team. And, we were trained and ready to help employers help their employees battling HIV/AIDS with our handy dandy Business Responds to AIDS Manager’s Kit. A soup to nuts packet of information sure to calm the nerves of the working public during the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic. Dun dun duuuuuh!

I don’t recall what started the friendship, other than she knew the guy with the thing on his neck. And, well, I liked the guy with the thing on his neck. And, I would go with her to get ice around 2pm every day, so we – er – so I could see the guy with the thing on his neck. These frequent trips for ice, along with sessioning back and forth – lead to a fast friendship.

What is sessioning you ask? No, you didn’t ask, but I will tell you. Sessioning was a DOS-based version of instant messaging before Microsoft Windows. (Ahem, we are in our 40s.) You would send a person a message, which would appear at the bottom of their computer screen. Though you could send two messages back to back, the person had to press ctrl-shift to clear each message. If you tried to send more than two messages back to back, without the other person clearing their screen, the message was blocked. This may come as a shock to you, but I would often wait to hear Laura clear her screen and immediately send her another message. I’ve been annoying her for years.

Though I only spent two years in the Maryland/DC area, Laura became and remains one of my closest friends. We have shared many laughs and tears, and we’ve shared many laughs that led to tears. One of the biggest laughs we shared involved pantyhose. Hang on Laura, don’t lose it yet.

How many of you have used clear nail polish to stop a run in your hose? You figure, if you’re wearing pants or a long skirt/dress, what’s the harm in wearing pantyhose with a run, right? Plus, clear nail polish does a great job of keeping the run from growing longer and longer. Now, I suppose it is the norm to toss a pair of hose with several runs, but I am not normal; so, I did not always toss my patched pantyhose. In fact, I had one particular pair…

The hole was big and it was getting bigger. If I coughed, the hole grew. If I bent down, the whole grew. If I moved to quickly to my left or my right – yep, you guessed it – the hole grew. I laughed with Laura about it, telling her it was like having an air conditioner installed. With every new tear or hole, I felt a breeze. I can remember one afternoon while at work, I was sessioning Laura about the every growing holes. She and I were laughing hysterically, and as we were laughing – one particular hole was growing infinitely larger. When suddenly, my right butt- um…  – my right cheek was fully exposed (underneath clothes, of course). Folks, it was hilarious! And, yes, I finally tossed the funnest and holiest hose in the trash. Aaaah memories.

There was also the time at one of the company Christmas parties. Seems I was distracted while going back to my hotel room, and I forgot to take the key out of my door. Laura and Tim, her (now) husband, opened my door to return my key when they saw …

Well, that’s all we have time for today kids. Sending the best belated birthday wishes to one of my best 40-something friends! Love you bunches, and next year I’ll wish you happy birthday on January 28th. That is the right date, right? *sigh* Some things never change.


3 thoughts on “Birthday wishes and a pair of pantyhose

  1. I used to keep a bottle of clear polish in my desk drawer for such emergencies. However after one run, those hose were in the trash. I must ask – who was the guy with the thing on his neck? Oh wait…was it a guy that was later to become our friend??

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