Untitled.

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I’m lying alone “with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts. I know you hurt too, but –”

Oh sorry. I got carried away with an Air Supply song. I hate it when that happens.

I am lying alone in bed and looking out the bedroom window. The sun shining on the green leaves lifts my mood, and I make an effort to give thanks for the beauty that surrounds our house. But, the pain is strong, and it tries hard to overpower any perks in my mood or sparkle in my eyes.

The pain starts in the knees. I easily envision tiny monsters gnawing away on my joints and cartilage. The pain is dull, raw, and constant. I try to rub away the pain in the knees, but the rubbing creates a different kind of pain.

Within minutes the pain creeps up into my back and slowly works its way down to my elbows, wrists and fingers.

As I lie in bed, I rock back and forth, trying to rock away the pain. I curl up into a fetal position, wishing I was still that child that was soothed by her Mom’s touch. I see myself sitting on the couch with the boys when they are sick, my fingers running through their hair. Oh, how I wish my Mom could sit beside me and run her fingers through my hair, like she did when I was young.

Rob enters the bedroom, “Can I get you anything?” He asks.

“Will you rub my back, please?” I whine.

He sits next to me and starts rubbing my back. His touch causes me to wince in pain, but the pain of his touch seems to overpower the rawness. The tiny monsters seem scatter with the rubbing, only to return when the rubbing stops.

.:.

This came on suddenly. Monday I felt fine. Tuesday I hit a wall, and I hit the wall hard. The hypochondriac in me took to Google to find the cause of the horrid aching I was feeling without having a fever. The pain I felt was how I perceived the pain attributed to Fibromyalgia. Was I battling Fibromyalgia? WebMD and Wikipedia lead me to believe I was the newest member of the Fibro-group.

When I went to the doctor, she smiled and nodded at my Fibromyalgia knowledge, but she also clarified the fact that Fibromyalgia progresses over time. You don’t go to bed one night, and wake up the next morning aching horrifically from head to toe.

Thankfully, she ruled out Lupus, Rheumatoid arthritis, Mono, and various other illnesses. She also ruled out an ear infection, strep, and sinusitis. She was good at ruling out infections, just not too good in pinning down the infection I was battling.

She told me there was a chance I came in to the office before the virus really took hold, hence aches and pains but no fever. Blood was taken, and I was told to rest and take ibuprofen for pain.

.:.

The fever arrives. Just like the overachieving little monsters eating my joints, this fever starts in overdrive. My temperature skyrockets, and the chills settle in for a bit of added fun.

I take two ibuprofen pills, drink a large glass of water, and lie in bed. I want to cry. Moaning and rocking seems to help ease the pain a bit, so I moan and rock while looking out the window.

Thoughts start circulating throughout my mind: The green leaves are so pretty. I love the view from my bed. I wish I felt better. I need to go for a walk. I need to write. I miss writing. I miss walking. Why do I always get the Fs and Ks, when I play Words with Friends? If the rabbit poops on Rob’s laptop, does that make the laptop a compoop’er?

After a while, I notice the pain in my back starts to lessen. My moans become whimpers, and my rocking stops. Gradually, the pain eases in the elbows, wrists, and fingers. The vicious monsters eating away at my joints are muffled by the medication. Finally, I notice my knees aren’t aching.

I smile slightly, breathing in the welcomed respite from the pain. I consider sitting up and grabbing my laptop. I consider putting together a lame pictorial post about my boys watching the coffee maker make coffee. I consider getting up and getting a bite to eat. I consider getting up and checking on the kids, dogs, and bunny. Still smiling, I look out the window and drift off to sleep.

.:.

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34 thoughts on “Untitled.

  1. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. I know the feeling but it took months of testing to check all of those things (plus Lyme). I hope it passes quickly and doesn’t come back.

    • Lyme is the one thing I did not freak out about because I have not had any tick bites. Now that I have a fever, I feel more at ease. (Is that silly?) The aching without a fever scared me. Now I know I am just sick. Charlie had pneumonia two weeks ago, I may be lucky to have what he had. He’s so good about sharing.

    • Thank you, Hipster. Both went through – not sure why they cam through having to be approved, though. WordPress is weird lately. I appreciate your determination in sending me well wishes. Thanks!

  2. I didn’t know you developed a fever! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME? Do you want some matzoh ball soup? Seriously, my sister’s mother-in-law (born-again Christian) gave me the best recipe. Even my perfect Gramma who couldn’t NOT cook anything loves my (Leah’s )matzoh ball soup. I’m so so sorry you aren’t feeling well. Funny, you TOLD ME you ached like you do when a fever is coming. You’re psychic. Oh and Words With Friends? KImPugliano. Just sayin’. Feel better friend. (hugs)

    • I know – I should have emailed you. Today is worse than Tues/Wed. Last check my temp was 101.6. I had already taken 4 ibuprofens prior to 2pm, and supposedley, you can only take 8 in a 24hr period. Well, I just downed two more. And now, like I said in the post, I wait for the stuff to work.
      And Words with Friends… I meant to do that yesterday! I forgot. Thanks for finding me!

      P.S. Matzoh ball soup is excellent! I’ve had it – never made it – but I’ve had it.

    • Thank you so much, Susan. I appreciate your prayers. I thought flu season was over – but I admit, this feels a great deal like the flu. I hope to go back to the doctor today for some serious medication – well, antibiotics.

  3. I’ve realized that whenever I look up my symptoms on WebMD, I find out I’m either dying or a hypochondriac. There’s no in between. I’m in therapy now. 🙂
    Hope you’re feeling better.

    • Isn’t it the truth, Jackie? If you aren’t sick enough when exploring the internet for reasons why you are sick – you will end up sicker, due to the fear from the stuff you found. (Did that make sense?) Once I started getting a fever, I felt more at peace. Isn’t that silly? I think it is time I go back to therapy. 🙂

  4. Oh, Lenore – I am sorry you are sick. You can alternate tylenol with the ibuprofen to help with the fever. Maybe you can get some good posts from fever-driven dreams, though!!! And, exactly, why would the rabbit poop on Rob’s computer?

    • Thank you, KD. I was so happy to see comments on this post. I admit, I was in need of attention, so I posted the creation a day early. You guys are so good to me, and I greatly appreciate it.
      The poop? Truthfully, it was Joe that said it. The bunny hopped up on Rob’s laptop, and we made sure to get him off the laptop quickly, in case he pooped. That was when Joe chimed in, “If he poops on Daddy’s laptop, does that make it a com’poop’er?” We laughed and laughed. I’m not a big fan of kids and potty humor, but that one got me.
      Oh and fever-driven dreams don’t seem likely. The cough I now have is keeping dream sleep far from me.

  5. Well this sucks.

    I’m sorry you’re down with it … geez Louise. I make a mean chicken noodle soup and would be happy to hop a plane, take over your kitchen, fluff your pillows and sing Edith Bunker songs to you to cheer you up! Songs that made the Hit PARADE….

    Not that I hope it’s the flu, but I hope it’s the flu … hugs
    MJ

    • It does suck, MJ. But my blogging buddies are right there – out of the gate – providing support and smiles. That’s a wonderful thing. Thank you.
      Thank you for the Edith Bunker serenade. I sang that song to Rob not too long ago. And I read your words in her tone. Funny, funny.
      The soup sounds yummy, though my appetite is poor. I’ll take a rain check. 🙂

      I hope to go back to the doctor today. We’ll see if I get home with antibiotics or something.
      Thank you for the well wishes and hugs, MJ.
      – Lenore

  6. Oh, ick. Poor Lenore. Are you feeling better, I hope? It sounds kinda flu-ish? For some reason so many people seem to be getting sick right now (myself included, with bronchitis/sinusitis a couple of weeks ago), when it’s normally the time people are ready and rarin’ to go for summer… I’m sending you virtual hugs, soup and vodka. Take your pick.

    • Thanks Jules. Yeah – I remember you battled the bronchitis/sinusitis recently. What a drag, eh? The cough I have now makes me wonder if this is turning into something similar. We shall see. I hope to go back to the doctor today.
      My appetite is minimal at best, so I’ll pass on the soup. The vodka is tempting, though I suppose I should not mix it with the meds. So, I’ll take you up on the hugs. I never turn down hugs – virtual or real.

    • Well, Bella – if the post was well written, I’d love to get some ‘likes’. 🙂 I know what you mean. It is a bit of a mixed message, eh?
      Who knew the flu was a late spring thing? Not I. Whatever has me, I am grateful I can stay home and rest. Thank you for your well wishes, Bella. I greatly appreciate it.

    • Thank you, Patti. I am grateful I can sit and rest. I am also grateful I’m not battling anything serious. Oh, and I am grateful for my blogging buddies and their words of encouragement. Truly. Thank you.

  7. Oh no! I had no idea you were feeling so lousy. Wish I lived close by, I’d stop over and watch the
    boys and make you some tea and let you rest. Ugh. Nothing worse than feeling sick and achy all over. Feel better soon!!

    • Today – Saturday, I am feeling better. The achy feeling seems to have passed. The coughing is still horrid, which is a pain and makes it difficult to sleep. But, the aches are gone. THAT is a wonderful thing.

  8. Sounds reminiscent of my last two days. Mine started with a sore throat, then the cold symptoms…stuffy nose, sneezing, dripping, then seized by the aches…which I usually don’t get. I was so out of it that I grabbed a bottle of Ibuprogen from the drawer and took one and went back to bed. Two hours later I was amazed to not be relieved even one bit. I went for the bottle again…I’d left it on the counter. It was a bottle of vitamins! Thank heavens, 2 real Ibuprofens later, I began to feel a little human. This morning I’m over the hump. Whew. Misery loves company, eh?

    • It is so true that misery loves company, yet when I stop and think about the sentiment – I feel guilty for wanting the company! (smile)
      I took more pain reliever during this ’bout than I have ever in my life. It was awful. Thankfully, the aches are gone for me, but the cough and the chills linger. The cough is horrid. I started an antibiotic yesterday, in hops this is bacterial and will ‘get gone’ sooner rather than later.
      I am happy to hear you are over the hump.

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