My boy Charlie (Or, is it me?)

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I remember when my boys were infants. Whenever I heard my infant boys crying, my heart would break. When they first showed separation anxiety, their emotion tugged at my heart strings. The years have passed, and the boys are older. Now, when I hear my boys cry, I want a drink. (I’m kidding.)

There is a difference between an infant crying because it cannot explain what it wants and a 4yr old crying because it cannot have what it wants. And, since we are talking about Charlie, he is probably crying because I said he could sleep with five things instead of the 10 things he wanted. Honestly, I haven’t a clue how Charlie sleeps so soundly, because when I check on him before I go to bed – he is covered in animals, books, boxes and blankets. He loves it, yet I can’t help but think the box would jab me in the side, while the corner of the book is jabbing me in the back.

Charlie may be a sound sleeper, but he does not settle down quickly. In fact, we had to move Charlie to his own room, because he was keeping his brother awake. Yes, Charlie is the kind of kid whom, when he notices silence, will ask, “Are you asleep?” And, he will ask that question until you wake up (because, yes, you were asleep) and answer him. (Did I use ‘whom’ properly? I really need my Mom to proof these posts for me.)

This Winter, we’ve had some excellent snow days. Though we do not own a sled, the boys found our wake boards (from Mom and Dad’s wake boarding days) worked quite well in the snow. Though there was a bit of a learning curve, the boys gradually got the hang of sledding a la wake board. What follows is the boys initial attempt at sledding. Rest assured, they eventually got the hang of it.

Charlie takes his first (failed) attempt rather hard. In fact, Charlie takes most of his first (failed) attempts rather hard. And though his crying or whining may have caused my milk filled boobs to leak with concern when he was a baby, he is no longer a baby and the milk is gone from my boobs. (What? Too much information?) Charlie’s crying and whining is – dare I say it for fear of being labeled a bad Mom – annoying. Charlie gives Caillou a run for his money. And sadly, Charlie is in the midst of a serious crying/whining phase.

I can easily see myself in my boys. I know the frustration that flares from Joe is from me and my personality. Moreover, I know the sensitive (borderline insecure) nature of Charlie is from me, too. When I watch Charlie become upset over this or that, I immediately flash back to my sad-self.  I remember being a little girl in 1st grade, crying every morning in school during the week my parent’s were out of town. I remember being sad when I found out my parent’s were going out for the night. Later, one running joke in the house was a whined, “Mummy going oooout? Daddy going ooooout?” Yes, my kind sibling poking fun at my sadness.

I also remember having to call home during my first sleepover. I couldn’t stomach the thought of being away from home (without my parents) for a night. I ended up doing the walk of shame. Well, not that walk of shame. Funny thing, Charlie has done the walk of shame, too. He cried to us over the phone, while he was visiting Grandma and Grandpa. He did not want to spend the night. He missed us so much. Ugh. And even without milk in my boobs, his cries tugged at my heart strings, and we went and picked up the boys and bring them home.

Where am I going with all of this? Who knows. Lately, Charlie has been taking the whine meter – on a scale of 1 to 10 – to 11. Though I do get annoyed (really annoyed) with Charlie’s whining, I still find myself wanting to pick him up and cuddle him. But, I’m not sure that is what I should do, because the reasons for his crying and whining are not serious. “But, I waaaant to sleep with four books, three rocks, two turtle doves and our partridge in a pear tree.” Waaaaaaah! Ok. Maybe I am exaggerating a little.

Then again, I’ve been whining quite a bit lately, too. With my (much) better half out of town last week, starting my night-time gig again this week, being a working Mom with stay-at-home Mom chores, having a flat chest and going through perimenopause … well, you get the idea. Oh, I’m crying, too. And, I am pretty sure my crying and whining is causing Rob to cry on the inside. Typically, my crying comes immediately following my yelling, because “I doon’t waaaant to yeeeell!” Oh goodness, I feel a digression approaching. I had better put a stop to this now before it takes a turn for the worst. What? Too late?

.|.

Be kind. Take care of yourself and each other.

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