It is the start of another week, and the end of the year holidays have come and gone. I can feel myself exhale, as I slip into the comfort of a routine. And, though the calendar indicates a new year has started, today seemed just like another day on any given year. Well, I am potty trained now, so obviously I am not counting my diaper wearing years. Oh, and I am not referring to my pre-driving years, either. I suppose, if I must be specific, … never mind.
Though I have found comfort in the familiarity of my routine, I know several people that are trying to adjust to their new routine this new year. Specifically, my heart is heavier when I think about my friend, Andrea HT. Her mom died the day before Christmas Eve – the day before her Mom’s birthday. Having just returned home, after spending several weeks with her Mom before she died, as she died and after she died, Andrea is in the midst of finding a new normal. And, as one might expect, her new normal – frankly – sucks.
Here’s the thing, I want to address my friend’s struggle. I want to acknowledge that she is forced to find a new routine. I want to mention the fact that while so many people are thrilled to have the hustle and bustle of the holidays behind them so they are able to return to their routine, others are struggling to create a continued hustle and bustle to avoid a new and changed routine. Though losing a loved one and starting a new year are two very different things, the pressure to ‘change’ is the same.
How many of you have resolutions for this new year? How many of you have made a deliberate attempt to make it to the gym or make better choices with your eating habits these past several days? And, how many of you have done these things because of the ‘new you’ hype of the new year? Why?
What is it about a new year that makes us feel we need to renew ourselves? Unless you die during the overnight hours, isn’t the fact that you lived to see another sunrise reason enough to renew yourself? Can we not renew ourselves daily? Why do we insist on changing our lives at the start of every new year? If you want to change yourself – do it. Don’t wait for a new year celebration before you ‘resolve’ to do better.
And, you know what? If you don’t want to change yourself, that is OK, too. Unless you are battling a life-threatening addiction, harming yourself or someone else, or involved in some other life-threatening situation, what’s the harm in doing today what you did yesterday? What’s the harm in liking yourself as-is, no improvements required? Do you really need to lose an extra 10 pounds? Unless you are morbidly obese or battling a health condition, I’m guessing your so-called ‘extra’ 10 pounds are not a big deal. Let it go. Exhale. And, realize you have just as much potential today as you did yesterday, regardless of the year.
Typically, I create new posts on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Well, I’m late this week. So much for starting the new year on schedule. But, that’s OK. The world is still turning. Besides, you were too busy starting your new year’s resolutions, so you didn’t have time to read my post.
Andrea HT – take your time. Go as fast or as slow as you want to go. As long as you continue to put one foot in front of the other, you are doing fine. And, should there come a time you don’t want to put one foot in front of the other, call me. Love you! Mean it!
Thank you Lennie Vo. Love you. Mean it!
My prayers for Andrea and my thanks that she has a friend like you to see her through!
Thanks, Chris. Andrea and I ‘chat’ just about every day. I wrote this a year after Andrea’s Mom died – she died in 2010, and I wrote it in 2011. She was a huge supporter to me this holiday, as I mourned the loss of Rob’s brother Walter.