Addictions come in all kinds of flavors

Aside from a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance, Merriam-Webster defines addiction as the quality or state of being addicted. It frustrates me when words are defined as another form of the same word. That said, ‘addicted’ is described as one having devoted or surrendered to something habitually or obsessively.

I know addictions are a serious issue for some people. Got it. But some addictions aren’t as life threatening. Aw shucks, I am throwing the idea of being politically correct out the window. I am addicted to Doritos. I am addicted to ice cream. I am addicted to worrying about this thing or that thing. I am addicted to – well, the list is long, so I’ll just say, my name is Lenore, and I am an addict. In fact, I last enjoyed a bag of Doritos while trying to start this blog. The greasy keyboard is a dead giveaway, as are the crumbs that surround me.

Yes, it is true. I consumed an entire bag of ‘Late Night Last Call Jalapeno Poppers’ Doritos in one sitting. In addition to the greasy keyboard and crumbs, I have an overwhelming sense of guilt. This guilt is creating all sorts of havoc in my head. The urge to eat more is great. Fortunately, it is not my fault. It is the fault of the grocery store being open. It is the fault of the self-checkout aisle, enabling me to easily check out and pay for my goodies with no one noticing. It is the fault of my job, and having to listen to a guy train me on software I already know how to use. The fact that I consumed an entire bag of Doritos is not my fault. I am a victim.

By the way, have you tried Doritos ‘Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger’ flavor? If you are susceptible to food addictions, I advise you to stay away. Then again, perhaps you could eat just one. After all, I am not talking about Lays potato chips, because no one can eat just one Lays potato chip. I have some Cheeseburger Doritos in the house, too. Anyone want to place bets on whether or not the bag will be empty by the time the sun sets tomorrow? Wait. Betting is another addiction some folks battle. What do you say, double or nothing?

A friend of mine often says, “Might as well laugh as cry.” I felt a bit like crying, as I tipped the bag up and let the last of the crumbs slide down the length of the bag an into my mouth. Rather than crying, though, I laughed. I’m such an idiot. I don’t sweat the small stuff, I merely eat it. And, I eat a great deal of it, especially when feeling pressured, peevish and premenstrual. The 3 Ps are not a good combination, when it comes to successfully avoiding addictions.

Let’s not forget, addictions aren’t just found in your grocer’s snack, dairy or frozen food section. Jack Bauer has a huge following of ’24’ addicts, as does LOST and American Idol. Though American Idol addicts remain anonymous, as some addictions are just too shameful to admit. Checking email is a common addiction. [By the way, I haven’t received any emails within the past 30 minutes. And, yes, I have checked – a few times, thanks.] I have to mention Facebook, too. With a nickname like “Crackbook”, it is clear Facebook is an addiction. Oh, and folks who own an iPhone have a huge addiction to their phone. Can’t blame them, really. It’s a cool phone.

I recently watched a news story about calorie counting apps available on iPhones. Apparently, people are becoming obsessed (addicted) with counting calories using their iPhone app. With every bit of food they consume, they count the calories with their iPhone. And, this brings me back to food and food addiction. Depending on my day tomorrow, I may have to go back to Kroger and get some ice cream. If I do, it’s not my fault. I blame Ben & Jerry.