That Pal :: A Drabble

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I dare not tag the person who inspired me to start writing drabbles. I’m certain he would prefer to miss this – my latest creation. Then again, I should give credit where credit is due. So Steve, this drabble… well, it’s not for you. (You’re welcome.)

A reminder for newbies, a drabble is a work of fiction consisting 100 words. Today’s drabble comes in the form of a poem. Which means, this may not be a true drabble. Nonetheless, you are welcomed and encouraged to create your own drabble. If you do, tag your post with ‘Friday Drabble’ and use the hash-tag #fridaydrabble on Twitter. Continue reading

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My Own Personal Vampire

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Dear Mother Nature,

So, do you remember the movie ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘? Well, she started feeling cramps when the vampires were approaching. “Great,” Buffy says. “My secret weapon is PMS. That’s just terrific. Thanks for telling me.”

Mother Nature, I start to feel cramps when you approach me. Seems you are every woman’s personal vampire. (Though, I think most women would prefer a vampire like Edward in their life.) You surface once a month, sucking our energy, patience, humor and our ability to be rational. My friend – no, not you, Mother Nature, my real friend – told me that her daughter was recently added to your agenda. And, she told me that while walking with her daughter, her daughter began to cry and laugh at the same time while yelling, “I don’t know what I am feeling!” (Can I get an ‘Amen‘?)

While my friend’s daughter is just beginning the cycle, I realize my time with you is growing increasingly limited. I am also aware of the tricks you have up your sleeve before you leave me for good. Though a part of me may mourn your departure, I doubt I’ll throw you a going away party. I am glad you were (still are) a part of my life. Had you not visited me regularly, I wouldn’t have my two awesome boys. By the same token, had you not visited me, I wouldn’t have had to fix so many door jams, due to excessive door slamming.

I suppose, once you leave me, there will be cons to not having you visit. However, as I get older, I am not worried about the cons. I am focusing on the money I’ll save not having to buy the products needed for your visit. Oh wait, I suppose pads may be needed in my twilight years, too. Hmm… with that thought, stick around Mother Nature. I’ll leave the light on for you, and I may even bake you a cake.

Love,
Me

Rub a dub dub

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Dear Blogary,

Last night was bath night. And, I have come to the realization that I will deem it ‘bath night’ during certain family dinners.

Take last night for example, as the boys became increasingly whiny and cranky, I exclaimed, “Tonight is bath night!” And, once they were informed of the upcoming bath, I noticed the whining and crankiness diminished. Slightly.

More importantly, Blogary, my declaration sent a clear message to my husband, reinforced with a stern glare – um, I mean a loving glance: I have reached the brink, and I need reinforcements.

Blogary, I have also come to the realization that the boys are the cleanest during certain times of the month. Hmm. Interesting.

Love
Me

Here I Moan Again

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Dear Mother Nature,

You’re going to visit again soon, I can feel it. Moreover, my husband and kids are starting to feel it. Seems the wind has changed direction and grown gusty. And, unlike the wind that carries Mary Poppins, this wind is coming from the west. In fact, Admiral Boom has raised the storm signals, indicating heavy weather brewing.

Emotional about Joe ‘graduating’ from Suzann’s house and Charlie’s 4th birthday, this week is already a heap of haphazard hormones. And now, because you are coming for a visit, bloating, crabbiness and cravings of crap have started to encroach. Mother Nature, you are the perfect storm.

The Publix tagline, “Where shopping is a pleasure” is grating on my nerves more than ever this week. And, I saw a commercial for pads where the pad is compared to athletic wear.  ATHLETIC WEAR! To quote the commercial, “Only Stayfree Ultra-Thins have Thermo Control Designed with the comfort of athletic fabrics in mind. Stayfree Thermo Control quickly wicks moisture away, for exceptional dryness.”

Mother Nature, did you notice I provided a hyper-link to Stayfree’s product line in the previous paragraph? That link will allow you to see the stupid ad for yourself.

Ah yes, the week before the week you knock on my door, a time when friends are made and relationships improve. NOT!

And Mother Nature, don’t go trying to tell me about those women who no longer have you knocking on their door. I am in no mood to hear about how it could be worse or how other womanly hormonal experiences may be more annoying. You just hold off on that discussion for two weeks or so. Don’t look at me funny, either. I may just burst into tears.

Love,
Me

P.S. I should mention, one benefit to your visit, Mother Nature, is the fact that frustration hits quickly and can lead to instant results. I just loaded up two boxes of stuff to take to Goodwill, because I was tired of looking at all of it. I haven’t a clue what I threw in the boxes, out of frustration; hopefully, I won’t go looking for any of it in the next two weeks. Hmm . . . where’s my laptop? Uh-oh.

Doogie-whompers and Wee-honked

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Two of my very best friends made up words I will never forget: Doogie-whompers and Wee-honked. Though I can’t define the words in the traditional sense, I will tell you that ‘doogie-whompers’ is most commonly used as an interjection and ‘wee-honked’ is most commonly used as an adjective. Of course, I say ‘most commonly’ as if these words are widely used by everyone, when in reality the words are mainly by the three of us.

Today, I am thinking ‘doogie-whompers’ over and aver again, as I anxiously await for kindergarten registration to take place. As I type, I have one more hour until we head to registration. Ding dangity, I am nervous! Better yet, “Doogie-whompers! I am a nervous wreck!” And, my nerves are leaving me with a feeling of wee-honkedness. We-honked is the exact opposite of balanced. When we-honked, I am most vulnerable to my junk food cravings. Case in point – RIGHT NOW. I want to eat the pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer, but I don’t have enough time! What’s worse is the fact that I won’t have time to console myself with junk food today at all. ACK!

Today, I am actually having to experience the wee-honkedness in all its glory, without a handy numbing affect. I know I will make it through the day, but “Doogie-whompers! I want to submit to a crutch!” Plus, when feeling this we-honked, it allows one to become overwhelmed with other bits of anxieties. Oh, and add some PMS, and you’ve got a perfect storm brewing. Yes, life inside our house may be challenging tonight. I’ll be sure to do my breathing exercises and step away for a bit, if needed.

Happily, Rob liked the Montessori school we checked out today. [A double whammy kindergarten kind of day.] It was my second time taking the tour at this particular school. I loved it at first sight, and I am glad Rob loved it, too. Rob believes in Montessori and understands the value it offers. His biggest concern with starting Joe at Montessori is the financial commitment. He, like me, worries about our budget, making ends meet and the sacrifices it will bring. And, because of his uncertainty (and the uncertainty of Joe being accepted into a Montessori program), we are registering Joe for public school today. Um. Have I said “ACK” yet? ACK!

Twenty more minutes until we pick up Joe and register him for kindergarten. And, I realize there are bigger issues in the world – bigger fish in the sea – bigger battles being fought. However, my awareness of those realizations is not calming the butterflies in my stomach. Again, the wee-honkedness I am feeling and the PMS rising is an invitation to the many other anxieties I have. So, thank you very much, I’ve just added the above mentioned anxieties about the bigger battles being fought, bigger fish in the sea and the bigger issues in the world to my state of wee-honkedness. Doogie-whompers! I think I’m gonna need a bigger bowl.