One of my favorite Disney movies is “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie”. In the movie, Rabbit explains the dangers of heffalump hunting to Roo, who wants to join the expedition. “Just a moment Roo,” Rabbit says. “A heffalump expedition is fraught with danger.”
While Roo pleads with Rabbit to reconsider, Tigger leans down and says, “Now Roo, you just can’t argue with a word like fraught.”
Tigger is my favorite character within the Hundred Acre Wood, and that fact may explain why the word fraught became my favorite word after Tigger advised Roo.
“Fraught. I love it.”
“You’re fraught with the frazzles, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“I do. You know I want to talk about it.”
“So, talk.”
“The gig is up, though. The readers know I am talking to myself.”
“That’s OK. You have a way with dialogue. You are entertaining.”
“Coming from you, the compliments seem contrived.”
“Whatever. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m fraught with frustration, inconvenience, anxiety and -”
“Yes – and fraught with the frazzles, too. I have already established that fact. Would you please move the story forward?”
“Well, I wanted to drop our home phone service. Always looking to save money, I decided it was time to get rid of “Ma Bell” and replace her with voice-over IP. You know, using the internet connection for phone calls.”
“Yes, I’m aware of the technology. Companies like Magic Jack, Skype, Vonage, etc.”
“Right. Well, I decided to go with Ooma.”
“Ooma?”
“Yes, Ooma.”
“I’m reminded of the David Letterman skit… Uma .. Oprah – Oprah – Uma…”
“Do you mind?”
“Sorry. Please continue.”
“So, I researched Ooma, and decided to move forward with the purchase. When the system arrived in the mail, I started the activation process. My husband asked about keeping our phone number, and I told him I was going to have it ported to the new device. He mumbled something about whether or not our DSL was tied to the phone number, but I cut him off and assured him I would take care of it.”
“You?! You cut off your husband?! Really?!”
“Yes, well, it gets worse. In addition to cutting off my husband, I sped-red (get it?) the fine print on Ooma’s service page. Something about “If you have DSL internet service, please keep in mind that porting your number may disrupt your DSL service.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah, uh-oh is right. I was in the midst of a conference call with one of my jobs via Skype. My boss was training me on payroll. Suddenly, she was gone. The internet was down. Great, I thought to myself.”
“You mean, to me.”
“What?”
“Great you thought to me.”
“To you, to me, you’re confusing the readers.”
“Wait. I’m confusing the readers?”
“May I?”
“Go ahead.”
“With the internet down, I picked up the phone to let my boss know the internet was down. Unfortunately, there was no dial-tone. The phone was down, too.”
“Again, uh-oh.”
“Again, uh-oh is right. Thankfully, I do have a non-smart cell phone, so I tried to call my boss on my cell phone, but it was dead, too.”
“Seriously?!”
“No, not seriously. Just thought I’d throw you for a loop. The cell phone worked, and I explained the situation to my boss. All of this took place on a Wednesday around Noon.”
“Wait a second. You are talking to me on a Friday.”
“Right. And, according to the phone – er – DSL company, the internet won’t be back online until Monday. Which means, we will remain without internet and phone service until -”
“Monday, got it. Wow. What a bummer. You really are fraught with inconvenience.”
“Yes, in this world of technology, I am fraught with inconvenience.”
“So what are you doing to keep up with the responsibilities of work?”
“Loving thy neighbor.”
“Huh?”
“I’m loving thy neighbor, because she let me tap into their wifi and work at her house for a day.”
“That was nice of her.”
“I agree. She’s awesome like that. Today I’m tapping into the free wifi offered at my local Starbucks.”
“Please tell me you didn’t try the pumpkin latte. If you did – Blurt may find out and poke fun of you.”
“Well, I’m afraid I did try the said latte.”
“GASP!”
“I know. I feel dirty.”
“Did you like it?”
“Not really. I mean, I didn’t not like it. But, I drink my coffee black, like my -”
“Stop. Do NOT quote the movie Airplane!, Lenore. You might offend someone.”
Sigh. “This world is fraught with too much political correctness.”
“So, you didn’t care for the latte?”
“No. Since I don’t put anything in my coffee, the latte was too sweet. Though I did like the fact that I could drink it almost immediately. The milk brought the temperature down to a non-scalding degree.”
“That counts for something, right?”
“I suppose.”
“So, do you feel better having released your frustration with this dialogue?”
“Yes, I guess do I feel better. I’m still stressed about work. I have invoices to create and orders to process. Do you know how hard it is to work in a Starbucks?”
“Seeing as I am with you now, I have some idea.”
“This place is fraught with distractions! Trying to stay focused on work, while people are coming and going is incredibly difficult. First, the shoes catch my eye, and then I see the outfits and hairstyles. I’m amazed what people will wear out in public.”
“Ahem. Excuse me. Have you looked in the mirror? You have no room to talk, when it comes to one’s public attire.”
“True. Still, I love people watching, which makes working at Starbucks difficult.”
“Plus, you’re having to use your cell phone in public. You hate that.”
“Oh I DO hate that. And, I just got off the phone with my boss. I was on the phone with her for 22 minutes! Oh, the shame! The shame!”
“Say Goodbye, Lenore.”
“Goodbye Lenore.”
.::.
Here is a trailer to the movie, which includes the ‘fraught’ scene.
Lenore's Thoughts Exactly 
Would you kick me if I said that post was fraught with hilarity? I love when you talk to yourself. It makes me feel, well, less crazy. And I’m diagnosed with bipolar and OCD so that’s a lot of crazy. You make me feel sorry for my parents, though, who just had my step-brother with them for a week.
He’s schizophrenic so that’s a lot of self talking. With hand gestures.
P.S. I LOVE PUMPKIN FRAP SO THERE OMA!
Kick you?! No! I’d hug you! I am glad you thought this was fraught with hilarity! Bonus hugs for using ‘fraught’!
I am glad I am able to help you fee a little less crazy, Kim. Everyone needs a friend like me (and me), eh? You can stop watching “Cops” and “Jerry Springer”, because I am crazy enough to help you feel normal.
I figured I might as well milk my self-conversations for what’s its worth – because the conversations flow frequently.
I use hand gestures when talking with real live people. I don’t use ’em so much with myself. I guess that’s one saving grace, eh?
I’ll tell you in the original Winnie the Pooh Disney cartoon, the Huffalumps and Woozels scared the crap out of me.
Now I’m going to be thinking of that all day.
Steve, I am certain – CERTAIN – the illustrators of the original Winnie the Pooh were doing LSD when they created the Heffalumps and Whoozels. Those things scared the crap out of me when I was young. (My kids, too.) Lumpy is a kinder and gentler heffalump. No nightmares.
“Seeing as I am with you now, I have some idea.”
Buah hahaaaa!
Are you sure you were talking to yourself and not the spaced-out woman wearing slippers and pajama bottoms mumbling about having no internet all last weekend and ordering a pumpkin latte to go? (that would be me, by the way)
Y’know, Lenore (and I’m talking to both of you) you should really keep these conversations going, I am with Kim, it makes me feel less OCD and neurotic. Not A LOT less, just a tad bit less mind you…
I’m glad you included both of me, as one has a jealous streak. (I won’t say which one.)
I appreciate the fact that my crazy self helps you feel normal. I believe we are all here for a purpose, and I guess my purpose is to share my crazy so others can say, “Man! At least I’m not like THAT!”
And, I thought of you when my internet went down – because you and I chatted a bit on Sunday (or was it Monday?). Who knew I’d be relating to your situation minus the snow?
Glad you liked the post, Darla. I am to please. Me, too!
I remember my mother picked up the girls a Tigger. It bounced when you pushed a button and it said “Bouncin’ is what Tiggers do best.” Never understood the plural of Tiggers. I thought there was only one, until now. Now I get it.
Aw man, Georgette! Now I don’t get it. Why is Tiggers plural when there is only one. Oooooooh. Wait a minute …. he talks to himself like I do! See?! I KNEW I liked Tigger best!
Your ‘conversations’ are always so civilized, LD, how do you do it?
Editing, PW. Lots of editing.
I love how you talk to yourself like you are your best friend…that is priceless. Maybe I’ll start doing that.
“What do you mean, you’ll START doing that?”
“Shhhh, this is Lenore’s blog, don’t start something, again.”
“Again? What is that supposed to mean?”
See what I mean?
You crack me up! (Me, too!) I do kinda rock, so who wouldn’t want to have me as a best friend? (smile)
Wow, the room was starting to get crowded as I read your post! lol
We – er – I have that affect on rooms. Glad I made you laugh!
You get along so well with yourself. Conversations with myself usually end in screaming and rending of clothing.
Fraught is a great word. I’m fond of the word mirth. It’s fun to say.
We’ve been land-line free for years and haven’t missed it.
No internet until Monday? I don’t think I could make it. Ours was out for a few hours last night due to a storm and I had to keep a wooden spoon handy cause the withdrawal spasms were so bad.
Hope you make it through the weekend!
I had to make through the weekend and beyond, Amy. I’m back now, though. Some residual shaking remains….
My conversations are not always civil. For now, I am in control of what makes it in the blogosphere and what does not make it in the blogosphere. Here’s hoping I can keep the voices ‘controlled’. (smile)
Too funny Lenore! Good luck getting your service back on.
I’m fraught with frustration to formulate a fabulous phrase to affirm my favor. 🙂
Brilliance, Jacquelin! My lack of internet did not allow me to respond to your brilliance until today. I am bowing down to you.
Your use of fraught was excellent; adding the alliteration was the cherry on top!
Lenore in this post you actually made us confused, you actually throw us for loop, you actually made us laugh. So you made us to react while reading this one, the way you wanted. So Hats off to your imagination. And its always feels great when someone write something unique. It was one of them. Congrats! Keep Writing!
Woo hoo! I was a success! 🙂 Thank you Arindam. My apologies for throwing you for a loop and confusing you. I can’t say it won’t happen again …
I greatly appreciate your compliment. Thank you!
Lenore Can i make your blog part of my blogroll?
Certainly, Arindam. Thank you for including me.
This post was fraught with hilarity! 🙂
I love love love the Airplane reference. And I’m with you about flavored coffees. Way too sweet.
Oh, technology. I feel like I’m the world’s last dinosaur. I like gadgets well enough but I will not get rid of my old Bakelite rotary phone or stop reading a good, crinkly newspaper.
You got the Airplane reference, eh? Great taste, Leonore. Great taste.
I am glad you enjoyed my post. So am I! 🙂
“Say Goodbye, Lenore.”
“Goodbye Lenore.”
I am still chuckling. You have a way with endings, Lenore. They satiate, and make one ask for more, all at once.
Thank you very much, Priya. I love the word ‘satiate’, and I am honored you used it to describe the ending.
As always, I appreciate you spending your time here. Thank you.
I had a pumpkin spice latte a couple months ago and thought, “Ew, this isn’t half as good as I remember.”
I had a gingerbread latte a week ago and thought, “This is every bit as good as I remember my last ‘pumpkin spice’ latte being.” Oops! 😉
That’s funny, Deb. Hopefully you’ll remember all of the above this time next year…. prior to purchasing, of course.
Thanks for stopping by!
You can call this dialogue crazy if you want to, Lenore, but I know the truth. There are a lot more than two of you in there, and these are the normal ones.
You’re not allowed to ask me how I know this.
Oh Charles, I won’t ask how you know this – provided you keep it secret. The others are getting nervous … and waiting for me to express their two cents in my blog. The line is getting longer.
The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is that Tiggers are wonderful things!
🙂
…Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs!
Gotta love that bouncy little guy.
They’re bouncy, flouncy, trouncy, pouncy fun fun fun fun fun!
I’ve been fraught with anxiety knowing I haven’t been over for a few days. I’m so behind on my reading. How do you keep up?
I love it when you talk to yourself. It makes me feel better about the conversations I have with myself, but sadly, mine are not quite as funny.
I don’t believe you, Nancy. I’m certain you have funny conversations with yourself, with your kids providing the inspiration.
And, I have not kept up with the reading and writing, lately. Slowly, I’m catching up… slowly but surely.
Thanks for visiting (and using the word fraught)!
David Letterman wanted me to ask if you’d remove that Uma-Oprah reference or he’ll have to resort to legal action. He had hoped everyone had forgot about that by now.
An elephant never forgets, though I’m not sure what that has to do with the price of peanuts.
Have David’s people call my people – so many people.
I thought about Uma -Oprah right away, as well. What I want to know is, how did Starbucks create so much free advertising by having us all blogging about the pumpkin latte? Sorry neither of you liked it – I thought it was yummy.
Hahahahahaha! Please tell me ‘sorry neither of you liked it’ was directed to me and at least one of my personalities. I – er – We took it as such and had a great laugh.
And it is amazing how much free advertising gets?! I should stop mentioning them. You know, Starbucks. 🙂