My bra hurts. The bra is new. The bra is the same size and style as all my other bras. Though, as I look more closely, the style of the bra has changed slightly. Tight bras make me cranky. Thank goodness I have homemade strawberry jam in the fridge. Strawberry jam toast makes me less cranky.
Every Summer, my Mom returns from her vacation at Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia with many jars of homemade jam. (She picks the fruit herself, too!) We love when Mum shares the jam with us. And, I tend to hold on to the jam as long as possible. I mean, you never know when one might become cranky due to a tight bra. Good thing I am prepared.
While spreading the jam, with plentiful chunks of strawberries, on the freshly toasted (and buttered) bread I heard Rob yell, “Are you up for a game of bare naked Monopoly?” “Well,” I replied. “That would solve the bra issue I am having.”
“What’s the problem with your bra?” Rob asked. “It is hurting me, because it is too tight.” I said. “I don’t understand how you gals wear all your undergarments. Bras, underwear, girdles, thongs.” He said. “Hold it.” I said. “I don’t wear girdles or thongs. With regards to thongs, I haven’t a clue how women put up with a string digging in their butt.”
“Yeah,” Rob began. “What is behind that theory?” “What theory?” I asked. “You know. String theory.” “Oh.” I said. “That. Well, if you want to table the idea of bare naked monopoly, I might be able to explain it to you.” I said. “Well, I was looking forward to being bare naked, while passing Go and collecting $200, but hearing about the developing theory that attempts to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity would be pretty cool.”
“You know that String theory may be the thing that describes known fundamental forces and matter in a system that is mathematically complete, right?” I said. “Yeah. it could be the theory of everything!” “Well,” I began. Don’t forget about Singularity.” “The idea that a superhuman intelligence will manifest itself and the human era will end?” Rob asked. “Yes, something like that.” I said. “Oh, I don’t buy it. I think Singularity is like the ROUSs in Princess Bride. It doesn’t – and won’t – exist.” He said.
“Rob, I’m hungry.” “Me, too.” “Would you like some toast and strawberry jam?”