The Tormented Toothbrush

What does your toothbrush look like? Are the bristles straight? Are the bristles squashed? Are the bristles squished?

How often do you brush your teeth? Once a day? Twice a day? Once a week? On major holidays?

I brush my teeth twice a day. My husband brushes his teeth at least once a day, and my kids brush their teeth twice a day. Though we brush our teeth on a daily basis, our toothbrushes look drastically different.

How often do you change your toothbrush? Once a month? Once every two months? Or, are you still using the same toothbrush you used when George W. Bush was serving his first term as President of the United States? Read more

A Tooth Fairy Tale

“My tooth fell out!” He said.

His tooth was loose for weeks, though no special attempts were made to pull it out prematurely. “It will come out when it is ready.” He heard his Mom and Dad say frequently. Still, he hadn’t expected the tooth to just ‘come out’. He had just put his finger on the tooth lightly, and he didn’t even wiggle it much. Suddenly, the little tooth was in his hand. Did he do something wrong?! He was new to this whole ‘losing a tooth’ thing. What was going to happen next? He wondered.

He walked into the kitchen. His parents looked at him and smiled. He wasn’t sure what to make of the experience, so he looked back at them with an expression of confusion and excitement. His younger brother came running to him, “Let me see! Let me see!” He rolled his eyes. ‘Younger brothers,’ he thought to himself. ‘They can be so annoying.’

“That’s great!” His Mom said. “Yeah! That’s exciting!” His Dad, agreed.

“Don’t get so excited about it.” He said back to his parents. Couldn’t they tell he was a little confused with what just happened? Couldn’t they see that he wasn’t ready for a big deal yet? How did the tooth just fall out? Why didn’t it hurt? Why didn’t he feel it? That is what troubled him most. He was expecting pain. He was expecting something bigger. This was too easy. Surely, there was more to losing a tooth, right?

After a few minutes, he did get excited. He remembered hearing about the Tooth Fairy from his friends. He ran to his Mom, “Does this mean the Tooth Fairy will come to my house?” He watched his Mom glance at his Dad. Her eyes got big, she shrugged and said, “Yeah. I guess it does mean the Tooth Fairy will come to our house tonight.”

Then he heard his Mom say to his Dad, “Looks like I’ll be going to the store tonight.” He hoped she’d get some ice cream sandwiches when she went to the store. He loved ice cream sandwiches.

Before bed, his Mom asked him for his tooth. He watched as she placed it in a small bag. “Put this under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy.” She said.

“What is she going to bring me?” He asked.

“Oh, I don’t know.” His Mom answered. “What do you want her to bring you?”

“A lollipop.” He said with a big missing tooth grin.

“Well, I don’t know if the Tooth Fairy brings lollipops. You’ll have to wait until you wake up. I’m sure she’ll leave something, though.”

All ready for bed, he found himself more excited about what the Tooth Fairy might bring him. “How will she get the bag, if it is under my pillow and under my head?” He asked, as his Mom tucked him in bed.

“Oh. I’m not sure. I guess she is just a clever fairy.” His Mom said.

He was going to try hard to stay awake. He wanted to meet this Tooth Fairy to make sure he was being given something good in exchange for his tooth. Unfortunately, he could feel himself falling asleep. He couldn’t hold on much longer …

Morning came, and he quickly moved his pillow to see if the little pouch was still there. It was! He quickly unzipped it. ‘Hmmmphf’ He thought with a frown. ‘That’s not a lollipop.’ He got out of bed and opened hisĀ  bedroom door. His Mom was standing right there, as if she was waiting for him.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“The Tooth Fairy just left me a note. I wanted a lollipop.” He said, as he walked away sad.

“Are you sure that is all that is in the pouch?” He heard his Mom ask. He didn’t listen. He wanted a lollipop, and he didn’t see one. He didn’t care if there was anything else in the pouch.

“I found a quarter.” His Mom said.

“I don’t want it.” He said, as his crossed his arms and huffed.

‘Stupid Tooth Fairy.’ He thought to himself. He didn’t care if she ever came back to his house.

“Well, I have to go to the store this morning. How about I buy you a lollipop?” His Mom asked.

He smiled. His Mom NEVER let him have lollipops. That is why he was hoping the Tooth Fairy would come through for him. “Really?!” He asked, hoping she wasn’t kidding.

“Sure.” She said.

“Yeah! Thanks, Mom!” He said, as he jumped up and down. ‘We don’t need no stinkin’ Tooth Fairy’ he said to himself.

“Let me take your picture, please.” His Mom said.

“No. I don’t want my picture taken.” He said. Though is Mom NEVER gave him lollipops, she was ALWAYS taking his picture. ALWAYS. Sometimes he thought about hiding her camera.

“Please?! I want to get a picture of your missing tooth.” She said again.

“Noooo!” He whined. He knew he was going to lose this battle, but he still wanted to fight it.

“I’ll give you two lollipops, if you let me take your picture.” His Mom said.

‘What?!’ He thought. ‘Is she serious? Man, I was going to let her win the battle eventually. I can’t believe she caved so quickly. Losing a tooth is a great thing! I can’t believe I am getting TWO lollipops.’

“OKAY!” He grinned.

Feeling generous (and knowing he was getting two lollipops), he let her take TWO pictures. ‘Take THAT Tooth Fairy.’

A Collection of Collections

A veritable plethora of collections

Most everyone collects some thing or another. Some people collect stamps, some collect antique cars and some collect shells. Many people collect many different things, and you wouldn’t be taken aback if someone told you, “I just added the best Simpsons stamp to my stamp collection.” However, you might politely excuse yourself from talking with someone if s/he said, “Today, I found the coolest fingernail to add to my collection!” Actually, if someone were to tell you about their fingernail collection, you might spit out the beverage you were sipping and run away. Fast.

Yes, some collections are better received than other collections. I ended my Bells and Bunnies post mentioning the Tooth Fairy, which made me realize my son is nearing the age where he will begin losing his baby teeth. As I considered my son losing his teeth, I wondered how my husband and I would handle the whole ‘Tooth Fairy” thing. I also wondered if I would keep the baby teeth my boys lose. I vaguely recall coming across a collection of baby teeth in my Mom and Dad’s room. I know the baby books my Mom put together of my siblings and me contained locks of hair.

Collecting and saving baby teeth and locks of baby hair seems a common practice. I have not saved any locks of hair from the boys, and it remains to be seen whether or not I’ll save the boys’ baby teeth. However, I do have the boys’ belly button stubs. (Should I have warned you prior to sharing?) Why do I have a ‘collection’ of belly button stubs? I haven’t a clue why I kept the stubs. Perhaps it is part of the delirium of parenting newborns. Sleepless nights can make for the start of crazy collections. You pregnant Moms out there – consider yourself warned.

I wonder. Will Joe come to me at the age of say – 17 – and say, “Hey Mom! Do you still have my belly button stub? I want to show it to my girlfriend.” One can only assume that the girlfriend would soon become an ex-girlfriend, screaming in horror as she runs out the front door. “That’s odd.” Joe would say, while watching her run away. “My buddy, Jeff, thought it was really cool.” I can only hope that Charlie would be nearby during the ‘belly button stub sharing’ incident, so he wouldn’t make the same mistake with his girlfriend. Then again, he might use it to rid himself of an annoying girlfriend.

Rest assured, two belly button stubs are not the only thing I have collected over the years. I have a collection of glass ornaments from my days working at a glass gallery, and I have a collection of pictures, picture frames and picture magnets. In addition, I have a collection of watches, though none of the watches have working batteries. So please, though I collect watches, don’t assume I will be on time all the time. I also have a collection of single socks with holes in the toe and/or heal. Why I continue to keep socks with holes and no mates is beyond me. And sadly, I can’t blame it on newborn delirium.

I’m not entirely sure at what age the collection bug hits, but I am guessing it happens early. Already, Joe has his ‘farm’ collection, which consists of hand picked stuffed animals and nick-nacks. Joe keeps his collection on the shelves of his headboard; the shelves are overstuffed, and Joe knows immediately, if one of the animals or nick-nacks is out of place. And, I see hints that lead me to believe Charlie wants to start a collection. He gathers many little things and keeps the items in a box or bag. But, Charlie’s attention span is not quite as fine tuned as Joe’s attention span. The contents of Charlie’s boxes and bags change daily. So far, the boys seem to have ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ collections. No fingernail collections in this house! Sadly, they haven’t asked to see their belly button stubs. No worries. I can wait.