Tag: Marriage

Rainy Day Rambling

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

As I type, the Mid-Atlantic States are bracing for a winter storm. I have several friends and relatives in the area getting hit. Days like today, I wish we had cable, so I could switch between the cable news networks and the weather channel. I am such a geek when it comes to weather.

Wait. What was that I just heard? Ah yes. Several of you just clicked to another blog. *sigh* There aren’t enough weather lovers in the world.

[A friend of mine in Gaithersburg, MD just called me. The snow is starting to fall. She was describing how her youngest daughter (42″ tall) has fun playing in the several inches of snow. Forecasters are predicting 24 – 30″ of snow. This little 42″ girl will be plowing through snow nearly her height. I love it!]

I am trying to focus on something clever about which to write, but my mind is distracted by the pending snow storm. As the insert above makes clear. It is funny though, because last night and this morning, my mind was busy with all sorts of things I was going to share with the blogosphere. Not only am I like Rosie O’Donnell (see post in Observations category), but I am like the fish Dory in Finding Nemo. I am so easily distracted by anything and everything, especially shiny things.

Last night I had dinner with a friend of mine. I know she is breathing a bit nervously now, as she may be reading this post. She really doesn’t want me to tell you about she takes medication daily for depression and trying to rebuild her marriage. Oh wait. No. Sorry. That’s me. You can exhale now friend. (smile) I won’t talk about our views on The Bachelor or Modern Family. Nope, that is strictly between us.

It is becoming clearer to me that being emotionally and mentally healthy requires so many pieces and parts. Now, when you are in the grips of depression it is difficult to take the steps you know deep down will help. But, if you one or two good days and just go for it on a leap of faith, it is amazing how much it can carry you. And, I type that out with a bit of hesitation, because I’ve been so low in the past. And, it is easy for me to talk about taking steps and actually making steps, when I am not in that black hole. If anyone is reading this and they are in a black hole, I hope you will check back here frequently. I will try to light a match for you, in hopes you find one day where you can take that leap of faith.

The medication I am taking has made a huge difference in my life. And, I believe it has really kicked in at this point. And blogging. Wow. Writing to an unknown world is cathartic for me. Couple that with having dinner with my friend of over 30yrs, and it creates a formula for recovery. Plus, the fact that my husband and I are talking actively again, and if we have a spat – it is merely that – a spat. Though, for the record, my voice may be as loud during a spat as it is during a full blown argument. In my opinion, a spat is a spat when the recovery time is less than an hour and the discussion stated on topic.

I called my mum today to talk about our plans for bowling tomorrow. I let her know that my husband may not be joining us for the bowling adventure, but I assured her if he didn’t join us it was due to a welding project he is trying to complete. Understandably, she gets concerned if my husband doesn’t take part in family events. She knows we’ve been struggling. After I assured her that my husband and I were doing better, she provided me with a bit of unsolicited advice. (Moms are good at giving unsolicited advice. All moms. Me included, thanks.)

I was happy to hear her advice. I was happier to let her know how things were going for us and our marriage. And, I was happy to inform her about my blogging, my visits with my bestest friend for over 30 years and my outlook. God willing, this outlook will continue. Much like losing weight, you’ve got to stay active to lose the weight and keep it off. I have to stay active to keep the depression demons at bay. And, I have to stay active to keep my marriage on a good path. So, this blog isn’t going to the wayside any time soon. I’m not sure I’ve shared anything of importance today, nor am I sure if I have entertained. Truth be told, it doesn’t matter. I feel better having shared my rainy day ramble.

Smudge Stick

~ Lenore Diane ~ 1 Comment

I went to bed last night visualizing my junk drawer. I was trying to think of what I could write in my blog today, if anything. I don’t just want to post things for the sake of posting. I want to make sure what I post is entertaining, maybe even enlightening. So, while rummaging through my junk drawer in my head, I wondered if I still had the smudge stick. I received the smudge stick from my friend on her wedding day, I believe. Though I have relocated at least twice since she was married, the smudge stick is still with me. Safely kept in the junk drawer.

The smudge stick fits in nicely with this blog. After all, smudge sticks are believed to help purify the energies around us. Specifically, the Sage/Cedar smudge stick I have is considered a cleanser and purifier that attracts positive and beneficial energies. Sounds like a timely thing to burn, eh? Still, I hold on to the smudge stick. And, once I am done writing, I will place it back in the junk drawer.

I can still smell the sage and cedar. Though the scent is not nearly as strong as it was when I originally received it, I find peace when I smell it. And, whenever I rifle through the junk drawer, I inevitably have to move the smudge stick to get to whatever it is I am trying to find. And, when I move the smudge stick, I am reminded of its purpose. I don’t need to light it to benefit from it. I can channel the positive energies with a quick sniff. (However, provided it isn’t so dry that it burns too quickly, I imagine the aroma would be wonderful.)

One of the many benefits of relationships is support – both giving and receiving. Though you may not connect with your relationships on a day to day basis, you know the relationships are there for you. One quick search in your junk drawer will confirm you’ve got the relationships you need in life. And, you may also find some relationships you don’t need in your life. But, that’s a post for another time.

My husband and I may not experience positive and beneficial energies on a daily basis, but as long as we know we are there, just behind the glue and to the left of the AA battery, the potential for connecting is always there for us. And sometimes, all you need is a little sniff – er, I  mean, smile.

Elmer’s Glue

~ Lenore Diane ~ 1 Comment

The junk drawer is filled with many odds and ends, like miscellaneous adapters, tape, nails, cereal box toys and a small bottle of Elmer’s glue. Last night, while talking to my husband, I realized the turning around of my life and marriage could learn a thing or two from Elmer’s Glue.

When you glue something using Elmer’s glue, you have to be careful with what is being glued until the glue dries completely. If you try to move it too quickly, the glue doesn’t have a chance to hold itself in place. You need to be patient and let the glue work; you need to allow enough time for it to stick.

Well, the same holds true with change and with expectations. I want my marriage to change. I want my marriage to work. However, we’ve been in a dysfunctional state for so many years, I can’t expect the change to occur instantly. Though I feel better and better each day about myself and the world around me, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself and try moving things around before the glue has a chance to work.

As I have said in a previous post or two, sometimes my mind gets manic. Various thoughts pop in and out of  my head, and I often want to act on the thoughts instantly. I want to act on it before it has a chance to stick.

I feel good. I’m ready to move forward. So, let’s move forward already. Oh wait. I see the glue in the junk drawer. If I move forward too quickly before the glue dries, I might slip and endanger the progress that has been made.

Yes. Last night, while talking to my husband, I realized I may be expecting too much too soon. We’ve been in a dysfunctional state for about 5yrs. And, we’ve had moments in those 5yrs where we thought things were turning around for us, only to find things got worse. If one doesn’t learn from mistakes, s/he risks making the mistakes over and over again. Thanks to the glue I found in the junk drawer, I am reminded that things need time to stick before you can move to the next step.

My husband and I have recently put the glue down on our relationship. Rather than getting caught up with what I think we should be doing NOW, since the glue was laid, I need to sit back and wait. I need to be patient. I need to let the glue dry. And,  perhaps I can start prepping for the next step without actually taking the next step.

I wonder what else I find in the junk drawer.