Tag: Marriage

The Long Awaited Approach

~ Lenore Diane ~ 7 Comments

“Finally.” She thought to herself. “Tuesday night is here again.”

She looked forward to Tuesday nights. Tuesday nights got her through the week. Tuesday night was ‘Pool Night’. Time for her to hang with her guy friends and be a self-proclaimed pool groupie. Whether she was headed to Good ol’ Days, Cheers, Diggers or Whiskers Pub – wherever the game took place on Tuesday night, she was there to watch them play.

She had fun hanging with her two guy friends, but her eyes were mainly gazed in the direction of the tall and silent stranger. Also on the pool team, he always hung back from the crowd. He was mysterious. He was handsome. He was tall. And, she was nervous every Tuesday night, wondering if she would see him. Pool night wasn’t the same, if the tall stranger wasn’t there to play.

She inquired to her friends about him, but he was a mystery to them, too. “He doesn’t talk much.” One of her guy friends said. “But, he is a great pool player.” She agreed. He took his time with each and every shot, landing more balls in the pocket than not.

Weeks passed, and she continued to watch him from afar. She told her girlfriends about him, and she dreamed about him. Too nervous to approach the tall and handsome stranger herself, she hoped he’d one day reach out. She hoped he’d one day notice her, the way she noticed him.

Another Tuesday night and she was headed to Dos Copas. And, like every Tuesday night, she had butterflies in her belly, anxious to find out whether or not her handsome stranger would be playing. She walked into Dos Copas and smiled, as she noticed him standing by the pool table, getting ready to play.

While getting a beer, her friend grabbed her. He was having a bad night. Girlfriend issues. He wanted to get her feedback on what had taken place earlier in the day. When it was his turn to play pool, he did not do well. His bad pool game made his already bad mood worse. He stormed out to the patio, and she followed him. Suddenly, someone stepped in front of her.

“Hi. My name is Rob.” She looked up, startled. It was him. It. Was. Him! The tall and handsome stranger had approached her! What should she do? His eyes were so blue. Her legs became weak, as she lost herself in his blue eyes… She shook her head and tried to snap herself back to reality. She did her best to compose herself . She took a deep breath, and she responded to him.

Four years later, she stopped talking long enough for him to ask her to marry him. 8yrs later, she’s still talking, and he’s still with her.

:::

Newly engaged

The past 8yrs have been far from complacent and peaceful. My husband and I have had our good times and bad times. Unfortunately, we seemed to have more bad times than good times; and admittedly, the bad times were due (mostly) to my own low points. However, with the help of friends, family, medication and counseling, Rob and I have made it 8yrs. And, because we made it through some horribly horrible times, I am confident we’ll make it the rest of the way – together.

Once I asked him how long it took him to notice me back during the pool playing days. He told me he noticed me instantly. He said he couldn’t get over how much I talked. Apparently, while standing alone in the corner, he could see (and hear) I was a talker. 12 years later, I haven’t changed.

Rob balances me. While my mind races from one point to another to another, Rob can always be found stationary and stable. He is my geostationary satellite. I am thankful this tall and handsome stranger approached me. And, I am thankful I stopped talking long enough for him to ask me to marry him.

October 12, 2002

We’ve made through some rough and rocky roads, and I suspect we’ll have a few more bumps along the way. Much to my dismay, Rob is still not perfect. And, much to Rob’s dismay, I am still talking. (Okay, okay – I’m not perfect either. ‘Whatever’.) But, we are each other’s forever after, and I am so glad he didn’t leave when I asked him to leave. And, I am glad he asked me to stay, when I said I was leaving.

Happy Anniversary, Rob. I love you.

How often do you argue with each other?

~ Lenore Diane ~ 3 Comments

Recently, Rob and I had words. ‘Had words’. That phrase cracks me up. Some people have a problem with the words ‘argue’ or ‘fight’, so they try to lessen the negativity (I suppose) by saying they ‘had words’. Call it whatever you’d like, Rob and I had an argument. We fought.

The fact that we fought was a bit of a buzz kill, as we had a fantastic morning and early afternoon. And, I suppose one might say (accurately) the reason for the fighting was because we were both tired, due to the fun but long day. Regardless of the why, Rob and I butted heads and got upset. Though we came to a truce before we went to bed, it was clear this morning that some negative energy still existed between us.

When we were done with breakfast, the boys went outside to play, and Rob and I stayed at the table and started talking about the argument. Rob said, “I am shocked by how much we fight.” Because I am accustomed to the arguing, I joked, “Well, how long will it take for you to stop being shocked?”

I believe we argue as much and no more than the average married couple, and Rob believes we argue more than the average married couple. My views come, in part, because my parents fought and argued. And Robs views come, in part, because his parents did not fight and argue. Hence, our squabbles seem abnormal to Rob and normal to me.

Unless you are new to my blog, you (the reader) know my marriage has struggled for the past several years. I started the blog in hopes of finding an outlet for myself, so I wouldn’t look to Rob as having sole responsibility for keeping me happy. And, the blog has helped me a great deal. I also believe the blog has helped my marriage, because it gives Rob a greater insight to the mania that exists inside of me.

If you read this blog and you are married (or in a long-term relationship), I hope you’ll take a moment to leave a comment and let me know how often you argue and fight with your partner. And, tell me, do you believe you can deeply love someone with whom you fight? One may not always like his/her partner, but are there times when one doesn’t ‘love’ his/her partner? And, is the love/hate directly related to arguments?

Coming out of the fog

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

We went to Barnsley Gardens Resort in Adairsville, GA, just Rob and I. We spent a weekend together relaxing and having fun. We noticed several things about our relationship. More than anything, this weekend Rob and I noticed our differences. We are true opposites.

He likes wearing shorts, short sleeves and no socks. I like wearing jeans, turtle necks, undershirts and knee socks. He likes eating cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple and grapefruit. I like eating strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. He enjoys museums, historical markers, plumbing and lighting. I enjoy horses, trails, rivers and lakes. We wondered what brought us together in the first place.

How two people – so different in so many ways – could connect and decide to get married. It made us scratch our  head in amusement. Ah. The fog. That’s what it boils down to – the fog. Lust and love surrounds new couples like a fog. And when the fog clears, several years into the marriage, you become startled. ACK! Who are you?!

We noticed a couple getting married at the resort. Rob and I wondered if we should inform the wedding party of the fog surrounding them. We decided to keep the information between the two of us, and we would let them figure it out on their own. Hopefully, as in our case, when the fog clears and they become startled, they will pause and give themselves time to get to know one another again.

Rob and I have some of the same likes, and we have some of the same dislikes. We like croquet and bocce ball. He likes schooling me in pool. I like schooling him in Scrabble. We find most television commercials annoying. And, we hate fabric stores. (Yes, Mum, hate is a strong word. And, Rob and I have a strong feeling of hate towards fabric stores. This common hate was actually something that brought us together, but I’ll share that story for another entry.)

We’ve been working on our relationship, and we are connecting again. It took some tweaking, but most everything takes some tweaking every now and then. This past weekend seemed to be just what our relationship needed. We’ve come out of the fog; we are laughing, and we are beginning to like what we see. Now, if only we can remember what we learned when my hormones go ker’plunk-ker’plooey again in about – oh – 10 days.