Tag: Humor

ForDay-Friday

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

.:The ‘My kid is home’ diet

Who knew Joe going to school and coming home at 2:30 PM Monday through Friday would do wonders for my waistline? Since Joe started school, which was Monday, I have lost two pounds. Two pounds, People! Two!

Why? Because I’ve started exercising! Yeah. Right. No, the real reason is because, I do not eat junk food in front of the kids. What I do behind my closet door is my own business. I’d rather not influence my kids with my poor eating habits. The fact that I eat behind my closet door is completely normal and will not scar the boys in any way, shape or form. (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.) Anyway … my prime ‘snack/binge’ time typically occurs between 3pm and 5pm. However, now that I have supervision during my afternoons, the binges have ceased. Dang blast it.

Well, the binges ceased as of Tuesday. You see, Monday afternoon, Joe caught me eating chips around 4pm. He had gone to my neighbor’s house to play with her son, Joseph. I saw his departure as chance to raid the cabinet. However, about 10 minutes later he came back to the house to get something to show Joseph. I felt my face blush.

“Oh! Chips!” He said.

“You caught me.” I said surprised.

“What?” He asked. Thank goodness for the naivety of a 5yr old.

“Oh nothing.” I said.

“Can I have some?” He asked, while simultaneously reaching his hand in the bag.

He was back out the door within minutes. The coast was clear. I could commence my binge eating in peace. I think it best that Joseph come to our house and play after school. After all, I still have 8 pounds I’d like to lose.

*~*

Distracted by life may help me lose weight.
Being busy and watched, the food I abate.

No more afternoon snicky-snacks for me.
I’ve settled for a cup of decaf green tea.

Eating ice cream on weekends? Still a mandate.

*~*

.:It’s Called ‘Perspective’

“Now that my kid is in school, he no longer to take naps.”

“Really? Oh well.”

“Oh well?! Oh well?! What do you mean ‘Oh well’? You don’t understand. He is so cranky when he gets home. He drives me crazy! He’s cranky. I’m cranky. We’re all cranky. AND, I have work to do for my paid gig. I can’t be at his beck and call every time he becks and calls. This school thing sucks. Seriously. I tip my hats to all the stay at home Moms that are home and love it. I don’t love it. I’m sorry, but I don’t. And, juggling work, home chores and Mom chores is – well it sucks! Oh. And. AND. What happens during the school breaks?! How in the heck am I going to manage that AND my paid gig? Huh? Tell me that.”

“My Mom has Cancer. That sucks more.”

*~*

Sometimes it’s hard to put things into perspective.
Because the challenges we face are always subjective.

We all carry rocks in our life backpack.
And sometimes we pick what we add to the sack.

So, remember some problems are purely elective.

*~*

Friday Flap

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

.:Routines

My day is filled with many routines. One of my favorite routines is enjoying a fresh cup of coffee, while the house is still quiet. I set my alarm early in the morning, specifically to sip my coffee in silence. I enjoy my last routine of the day, too: going to bed.

Most every night, when I go to bed, I lie on my right side reflecting about the day. Oftentimes, ideas for posts fill my head, but because I am comfy in my bed, I don’t make an effort to write my prize winning thoughts down. Though it rarely happens, I continue to tell myself I will remember my ideas in the morning.

In addition to blog ideas, I think about my friends and family. I review what took place during the day, and I consider what may take place tomorrow. And finally, when I have exhausted my mind with thought, I say a prayer.

Once I am done praying, I turn and lie on my back. I listen to the insects of the night and feel the wind on my face from the ceiling fan rotating overhead. I lie there quietly for a few minutes, until I get the urge to turn and lay on my left side. Once on my left side, I snuggle in and drift off to sleep, dreaming of my coffee in the morning.

~

Starting my day with a cup of Joe.
Quiet time moving nice and slow.
The sun rises up and fills the sky.
Soon, the day passes quickly by.
And, off to bed I go.

.:Surprises

Joe and Charlie came running out of Suzann’s house. “Mommy!” They yelled. “We have a surprise for you!”

They were running towards me, each holding a Ziploc bag. As they grew near, I could tell they were not bringing me cookies. I began to get nervous.

“Look!” Joe said proudly. “Cicada shells.”

Yes. My boys surprised me with two Ziploc bags containing several Cicada shells. They love me. My boys really love me. (And, I love Ziploc bags!)

~

Creepy, crawly bugs
An Entomologist’s dream
Lurking everywhere

.:Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Look, Joe! Look!

Today, I took Joe to Suzann’s house for the last time. He starts kindergarten on Monday. If you’ve grown tired of me talking about Joe’s first day away from Suzann’s house and in school, rest assured the topic is nearing the end.

I walked into Suzann’s house with a bag full of small containers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for the classroom. Suzann greeted me, while busily blowing up balloons. On the buffet I noticed three freshly made blueberry pancakes on a plate in the shape J, O and E. The preparations for celebrating Joe’s promotion were underway.

Before leaving, I handed Suzann a book I created, documenting the years Joe spent with her. We both looked at each other, holding back tears. She has played such a big role in Joe’s life, for which I am grateful.

As Joe closes the door to Suzann’s house and opens the door to his new school, I am reminded of an excerpt from Robert Fulghum’s book, ‘All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten‘:

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sand-pile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life – learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die.
So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned – the biggest
word of all – LOOK.

I believe Robert Fulghum nailed the simplicity of life; though we continue to junk it up with gunk – or gunk it up with junk. Either way, as I watch Joe begin his journey in school, I hope he ignores the gunk and junk and keeps life simple. And, I will do my best to remember the lessons of kindergarten, making my life simpler, too.

~

So begins your school age years.
No doubt I will shed some tears.
Go forth, have fun, keep an open mind.
Listen. Question. Look. Be kind.
And do your best to face your fears.

.::.

Friday Fa La La

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

Earlier this week, when I dropped the boys off at Suzann’s house, I heard Joe ask, “Is Sissy still on vacation?” Suzann looked at me and said, “Sissy went on vacation.” Then she looked at Joe and answered, “Yes.” Because I didn’t know anyone by the name of Sissy, I was confused.

“Where did she go on vacation?” Joe asked. Suzann said, “She went to the Bahamas.” “Where are the Bahamas?” Joe asked. “Let’s get the map out and find it, Joe.” Suzann said, as she walked over to get the large map book.

As she passed me I asked, “Who is Sissy?” Suzann smiled and said, “Sissy is one of the doll house dolls.” She continued talking to me, while getting out the map. “Sissy has many friends in the classroom, and she was having a hard time spending time with everyone, so she decided to go on vacation.”

Joe interrupted, “When will she be back?” Suzann smiled, “I don’t know, Joe.” She answered. “Maybe we can write Sissy  letter.”

As I turned to leave, the kids were gathering around the large map book on the floor. I smiled, happy to know Sissy was getting a much needed vacation and the kids were exploring the world through her travels.

<~~>

Today as I walked to my mail box
I notice the holes in my socks.
I found a letter from you.
Did a ‘Skip to my Lou’
And said, “My husband sure rocks!”

<~~>

I went to the grocery store this week. While shopping for fresh produce, I decided to walk down the card aisle and pick up a card for a friend of mine. I love Hallmark’s Hoops & YoYo cards, so that is where I started my search for the perfect ‘Hello’ card.

Next to the Hoops & YoYo cards were Hallmark’s ‘Saturdays’ cards. As I glanced in the ‘Saturdays’ section, my heart sank. I found several cards labeled ‘Cancer’, ‘Recession’ and ‘Job Loss’. Wow. Immediately, I thought about those currently challenged with Cancer, the Recession and unemployment. And, of course, there are those challenged by other health, financial and life matters. I suppose Multiple Sclerosis, debt and foreclosure cards are right around the corner.

I’m not trying to make light of the cards or the challenges. I mean, I was there to buy a card for my friend, because her Mom is battling Cancer. I think the purpose of cards is to lighten the mood and lift up one’s spirit; yet, seeing the labels left me feeling depressed. In fact, I suddenly needed a mood lifter; so, I picked up one “Hoops & YoYo” card for my friend and one for me. Oh, and I stopped by the chocolate aisle, too.

<~~>

Young love is blossoming. Every day this week, my youngest has asked me to drive by McKinley’s house. McKinley is a girl in his daycare class. Yesterday, when I picked up the boys, Charlie came running out to me. “Mommy!” He exclaimed. “McKinley said I could come over to her house today!”

I looked at Suzann, who was bringing the boys out to the car, and I smiled. She and I have been watching Charlie’s love for McKinley grow for some time now. In fact, we exchanged numbers with McKinley’s parents earlier in the week. Then I looked at Charlie and asked, “Who said you could go to McKinley’s house – McKinley or her Mom?” Charlie said, “McKinley.”

Then Suzann said, “The two of them were discussing it during nap time.” “You know,” she continued with a wink, “pillow talk.”

<~~>

It’s the stuff I constantly seek.
Without it, I do surely shriek
But today I quiet the scream
For tonight I’ll enjoy ice cream
And abstain once again next week.

<~~>

It’s a brand new day, a gift to you.
A perfect time to say, “Woo hoo!”

Do something special, give it your best.
The gripes and the groans, give ’em a rest.

Here’s to your day, decide to be happy.
You’ve got the power, and I’ve got the sappy.

<~~>