Tag: Humor

No-Fuss Friday

~ Lenore Diane ~ 3 Comments

.:: Labor Day Laughter
Over the Labor Day Weekend, we gathered with my family, which included siblings, spouses, nieces, nephews and cousins. I had been looking forward to the gathering for over a week, and I was not disappointed. We all had such a great time.

No nose piercings, just a blue M&M coated tongue. Rock on, Charlie. Rock on.

One of my nephews works undercover (seriously). In order to look the part, he has tattoos and body piercings. Truth be told, he may have had these things regardless of the line of work. I wish I could post a picture taken of him and my brother. My nephew looks so fierce, when in reality he is one of the nicest guys you’ll meet. (Unless, of course, you meet him out back, while trying to buy crack. Just saying.)

Anyway, my nephew was not the only one with body piercings (though he won the prize for non-subtle piercings). One of my nieces has her nose pierced. Apparently, while she was sitting and visiting with my 4yr old, he noticed her nose piercing and asked, “Why do you have a nail in your nose?” Once my niece’s laughter died down, she told him about having her nose pierced. My 4yr old then asked, “Can you put a nail in my nose?”

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Tattoos and piercings, fashion or fad?
“I have a new mohawk. What do you think, Dad?”

A nail in your nose, purple dye in your hair;
Getting a third piercing because of a dare.

Thoughts of nipple piercings make me twinge;
As kids’ rites of passage make parents cringe.

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.:: Special Moments
The passing of Labor Day brings with it a new season for television shows, which typically includes schedule changes. One such scheduled change involved our local PBS station.

Joe wakes up at 6:30am during the school week. Before eating breakfast, he and I sit on the couch and watch TV together. Prior to Labor Day, we’d watch Dragon Tales, which really – yeah, that’s all I have to say about Dragon Tales.

Well, Labor Day has come and gone, and PBS changed their television schedule. Now at 6:30 M-F, Joe and I watch Word Girl. We became addicted to Word Girl in the afternoon, as it used to be on at 4pm. And, yes, I didn’t stutter – ‘we’ became addicted to Word Girl. “Word up, it’s Word Girl.” I love Word Girl. “Woooord Giiiiirrl!” Sorry. I told you – it’s an addiction.

Sitting and watching TV shows like Word Girl, Curious George and Dinosaur Train are things I enjoy doing with the boys. Special moments, I treasure, during this phase of life.

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Word Girl is the best.
Her word usage does impress.
Captain Huggy Face.

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.:: Dinner with a Friend
Last week, my friend backed out on dinner plans, and I mentioned her in my blog. This week, she kept the date, and look – I’m still mentioning her in my blog. However, this time, she is mentioned because she helped me think of something to write about for today: My abnormal quirks. I have many you know.

I suggested I write a ‘Top 10″ list of my ‘abnormalities’, and my best friend of over 30 yrs suggested I go for a ‘Top 20″. (Can you feel the love?!) Here goes:

Lenore Diane: Lover of Plain Jane Comfort

Top 15 Abnormal Quirks of Me, Lenore Diane
1. Shy, yet shares everything within seconds.
2. Insists on mowing the grass uphill vs. going sideways.
3. Avoids flying, regardless of cost.
4. Rearranges furniture every couple of months.
5. Uses one side of the towel for drying off above her neck, and the other side of the towel for drying off below her neck.
6. Won’t let her boys have lollipops or gum.
7. Wears socks with sandals.
8. Sometimes wears turtlenecks to bed.
9. Rarely goes to a bar/restaurant without seeing someone she think she knows.
10. Rarely goes to a bar/restaurant and actually knows the person she thinks she knows.
11. Won’t wear shorts in the summer.
12. Blushes easily and vibrantly.
13. Has an obsession for men with long hair. (Not talking mullets, people.)
14. Obsessed with ice cream and prefers to eat it alone.
15. Paranoid about being judged. (Hmm . . . perhaps because she shares too much?)

Let the record show, I sat down with Rob and my friend to compile the above list. After several hours, Rob said “Maybe you’re not as crazy as we thought.”

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Be sure to take care of yourself and others.

Freaky Friday

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

.:: The Real Ordinary
I sit corrected. Last week was not a plain and ordinary week; last week was an extraordinary week.

At the risk of being labeled an Eeyore, I’m beginning to think ‘ordinary’ weeks are weeks when the family is running non-stop, challenges pop up everywhere and the whine flows freely. And the extraordinary weeks? Extraordinary weeks are when the deadlines are few to non-existent, challenges are mere blips and dinners involve more than cans, boxes and bags. (Wait. Scratch that. Regardless of the week, our dinners come from cans, boxes and bags; but the food is organic – we are a health conscious family, people.) I digress . . .

Crazy is my new ‘ordinary’; ordinary is my new ‘extraordinary’; and this week was crazy ordinary!

10 Things About This Crazy Ordinary Week

10. One of my children hit another kid at school.
9. The same child pitched a fit at home, breaking his glasses.
8. The same child was dealing with an awful rash on his forearms, causing me to take him to the pediatrician.
7. The same child was advised to be treated for “Scabies”, just in case.
6. My trip to the Pharmacy (just before they closed) to pick up medication proved pointless, as I came home with the wrong medicine.
5. Due to my babbling big mouth, odd sense of humor and Facebook, my rash-free kid was banned from daycare for a day, due to the Scabies rash he did NOT have.
4. My rash-free child became sick with a cold, slept with me and cried all night.
3. The dinner date with my friend was canceled.
2. Work deadlines were met during non-working/should-be-sleeping hours.
1. Whine was the sound du jour – all week for all ages.

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The crazy work week is now ending;
Bring on the weekend and start the mending.

This past week sure kicked my bum;
and, left me feeling a little glum.

So now, adult beverages I start blending.

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.:: Is It Okay That I Don’t Miss You?
Though I talk about my blog with my boss, she does not read my posts much, if at all. Come to think of it, she doesn’t need to read my blog, because I pretty much tell her everything. [Big shock, I tell my boss everything; such an odd characteristic for such private person.] So, when I write that I absolutely love my boss, please know it is a genuine sentiment and not said to brown-nose.

Typically, I will go to my boss’ house twice a week – Tuesdays & Thursdays. Neither she nor I particularly love it when I go to her house. We appreciate our ‘work at home’ set up. More to the point, we appreciate working alone with little interruption. If I let my boss know I can’t make it to her house on a particular day, her response is usually a sarcastic “Darn.” And, when I am packing up and leaving my boss’ house, there’s a sort of ‘Don’t let the door hit you on the way out’ kind of vibe. We have a blast working together, so it is all in good fun; and, I love it.

Last week, I went to her house early in the week, leaving her Thursday and Friday to be alone. I did not return to her house until Thursday of this week (due to my kid being shunned from daycare for a day). When I walked in to her house, she wanted to have a quick look at me, because it had been several days since we had seen each other. We were both basking in the glow of having not seen each other in several days.

This morning, I let my boss know that I would not be coming to her house next Thursday, due to a parent/teacher conference at Joe’s school. My boss’ response? “Oh, bummer.”

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Oh, you’re back again.
How long until you go home?
All done. Thanks. Goodbye.

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Not the best picture, but the best bunch of siblings. Ever.

.:: The Fam’damily
Tomorrow, we are packing up and heading to a family gathering for the day. One of my sisters is having all of us over to visit with cousins in town from Pennsylvania. I have not seen my siblings since the beginning of June, and I miss them. With the exception of one sister, we all live in Georgia. And, we see each other fairly regularly, but with Summer vacation – it’s been awhile since we’ve all gotten together.

I love my siblings. We are a crazy crew, a loud crew, an opinionated crew, a laughing crew and a crying crew; and, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am so happy to end this Crazy Ordinary week with a reunion with my Freaky Family. Woo hoo!

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Salutations Friday; Good to see you.
Nice that you brought a long weekend, too.
Thank you for coming and staying all day.
Let’s get on with it now; it is time to play.

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Be sure to take care of yourself and others.

Itching With Inspiration

~ Lenore Diane ~ 4 Comments

I am itching with inspiration. Itching. And the inspiration comes from an actual itch and Facebook. The itch can be scratched. Facebook? It will be the death of me, if I don’t learn to keep quiet.

I find myself funny; unfortunately, I don’t keep the ‘funny’ to myself. (I don’t keep anything to myself.) Moreover, as I share what I find funny, I soon realize the rest of the world does not see things the way I see things. Amazing. Really, it’s a shame. Poor, poor world. I have a friend that says ‘you might as well laugh as cry’, and I try to remember that sentiment when things get crazy.

Yesterday, I posted what I thought was a funny poem on my Facebook status. “Too much info I sometimes share; here’s an example in case you care, My kid Joe does not have rabies. Nah. Instead this kid has scabies.” Well, the humor in my poem went over like a lead balloon. *THUD* (Actually, my neighbor found it funny, as she literally called me on the phone seconds after I posted the status.)

Other Facebook friends? Not so much. One FB friend, who has a child in my son’s daycare class, proceeded to contact the daycare provider. She was not amused with my mentioning my child and scabies in the same poem. [I admit, ‘scabies’ sounds horrible.] She wanted to request my child not be allowed back into daycare until the scabies was cured. Ok. Fine. I understand her concern. I understand her wanting to protect her child, as well as the other children in the class. But – Charlie was not the one with a rash. In fact, Charlie is rash free.

Again, I understand the Mom’s concern. As a Mom, I experience the same concerns, and I certainly don’t want to expose other little ones to my sick little ones. However, as a Mom of two, my knee-jerk response to illnesses has lessened. Greatly.

When my oldest was a newborn and throughout his first three years, I freaked whenever he was sick and/or was thought to have been exposed to someone else who was sick. I freaked to the point of becoming a freak. (Rumor has it I am still a freak, but for other reasons.) Then, when I had my second child, I found I freaked less. I found juggling childcare and my paid gig was tough, especially when a child was sick and had to stay home. Hmm . . . maybe the kid isn’t sick. Maybe he just has allergies. No fever. He’s fine. Off to daycare you go.

Yes,  juggling work and two kids eased my freaky “Oh my gosh! My kid is sick! Quick! We must go to the Urgent Care Center STAT!” nature. Juggling parenthood and employment eased my freaky “What do you mean he was exposed to chickenpox? What kind of Mom takes their child out in public when they have chickenpox? Argh!” nature. Just like being a Mom of two eased my “He fell! Is he breathing? Is there blood? Do we have to go to the ER?” knee-jerk reaction. Now, if one of my two falls the reaction is more like, “I can’t see any blood from here. Shake it off. Rub it. Move along.”

I admit, my neighbor and I still call each other (immediately) when we fear one of our little ones is battling a scary illnesses or has just experienced a serious bonk of some sort. She and I will talk each other off the ‘freaking out’ ledge.

Back to the rash. I’ve discussed Charlie’s lack of rash, which brings me to Joe. Joe doesn’t have scabies. However, the pediatrician thought it best he (and Charlie) be treated for scabies because our neighbor’s kids had scabies. The rash on Joe’s arm is actually dermatitis, and we are treating it with a steroid cream. Still, last night, we did the scabies treatment, too, which consists of lathering the child in a special cream before bed and washing the cream off in the morning. Treatment also includes washing sheets, towels, etc. Done, done and done. Joe is enjoying a normal day at school, and Charlie is enjoying a not-so-normal day at home.

And Scabies? Yeah, it’s a scary name for a mite that is similar to lice. Scabies mites typically thrive on the body below the neck, whereas lice thrive on the scalp. Scabies is far easier to treat than lice; plus, unless you are sharing a bed or rolling around naked with someone suffering Scabies, Scabies is harder to transmit than lice. You can access the MayoClinc’s website for information about Scabies by clicking here.

I’ll work harder on keeping things to myself, while holding my humor in check. Still, tonight I may have to create a new poem for my FB status; many words rhyme with ‘flu’.