Tag: friends

Life goes on

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment
My Dad wearing the cowboy hat he received for Christmas.

My Dad died in the early hours of February 5th 1994. I had flown home from Washington DC the day before he died. When I got to the hospital, my Dad was unconscious and on a respirator. Seeing him for the first time with all the tubes and machines attached to him, I screamed and ran out of the room. I was not prepared to see him in such a state. The last time I saw my Dad, which was September the previous year, he was healthy (so we thought). After I composed myself, I went back into his hospital room and talked to him as if he could hear me.

I went home with my brother and sister-in-law that night, and my sister-in-law woke me up around 1AM, letting me know my Dad had died. Some of my family went to the hospital to see my Dad one last time. I chose to stay at my brother’s house. My Dad was cremated, so my last image of my Dad is in the hospital. The siblings of mine that saw my Dad after he died are thankful for their last image. They said he looked peaceful. I suppose a part of me wishes I had made a different decision the morning my Dad died, though I can easily look at pictures of my father and erase the hospital image of him.

When my Dad died I was heartbroken. One of the toughest things to face was the fact that life continued. I was mourning. My family was mourning. My Dad’s friends and colleagues were mourning. Still, the world around all of us continued to move forward, as if nothing horrible had happened. I can remember driving down the interstate consumed with sadness, and I became so angry when I noticed other people laughing in their cars. How could they laugh at a time like this? Didn’t they know a great man had just left his world?

As I type this, many nameless people are mourning the loss of a loved one. Many nameless people are sitting bedside by a loved one, watching him or her battle for life. And, I know people who are battling kidney Cancer, seizures, Multiple Sclerosis and Diabetes. These people I know are not nameless. These people are friends, relatives and loved ones. Yet, while all these people fight their battles, others are living a ‘normal’ and carefree life. I’m not suggesting we all become consumed with guilt, ever aware of the pain and suffering that surrounds us. Rather, I suggest we try to keep things in perspective, and we try to offer compassion to those that are suffering.

Today the death of celebrity Corey Haim is making the news. Corey died of an accidental overdose at the age of 38. He struggled with drug addiction for most of his life. And, I am certain Corey’s friends and family are consumed with sadness. I am also willing to bet that his family and friends are finding peace, knowing Corey’s battle with addiction has now ended forever. And, as they mourn, my life goes on uninterrupted. Corey’s death does not affect my life in any way, shape or form. Corey’s death does not change the fact that I have a friend who is worried about his newborn daughter, battling seizures since she was born on February 22, 2010. And, Corey’s death doesn’t change the fact that I am constantly thinking about my husband’s brother and his first cousin, who are  battling Diabetes and kidney Cancer. In fact, my husband’s first cousin recently found out the Cancer has spread and there is now a tumor on his one of his vertebrae. Finally, Corey’s death doesn’t change the fact that my sister-in-law is battling MS.

I believe it is also important to mention the people all over the world, continuing to recover from earthquakes, hurricanes, mud slides, bombings, war, etc. Haiti was in the news for several weeks after the devastating earthquake earlier this year. More recently, Chile was hit with a horrific earthquake. Is it just me, or have you noticed that the earthquake in Chile did not generate the same media storm or call to action as the Haiti earthquake? Does a  nation have to be incredibly poor to be worthy of help? The lack of attention Chile has received, compared to Haiti, seems unfair to me. Goodness knows, the world stopped for the people of Chile. Moreover, the world stopped for those around the world who had friends and family in Chile. In fact, I believe it is safe to assume that the world has yet to restart for many affected by the earthquake in Chile.

Again, my point in this babble is not to overwhelm you with guilt. Frankly, this blog enables me to express my own feelings about things that bother me in this world. My post is selfish, because I am able to stop my world for a minute, draw attention to the things that matter to me, giving me a sense of purpose. I believe I am also drawing attention to the nameless people who are in the midst of their battles, perhaps feeling invisible to the world around them. Via a friend on Facebook, I came across a blog created by a woman who recently lost her husband in a car accident. On December 29, 2009, I had a non-eventful and normal day. However, one woman from Texas was in a car accident on December 29, 2009, and her husband died as a result of that accident. In an effort to work through her grief and new life challenges, she is writing ‘Through the Valley‘. I encourage you to take a minute and read her story.

I hope you are able to enjoy a non-eventful and normal day today. Should you find yourself amidst a challenge, please know you are in my thoughts. No, I don’t know you, and I will not likely know your specific battle; however, I know you exist and I know battles are never ending. I know I wanted the world to stop for my me, my Dad and all those who loved him. So, I make it a point to stop my world daily, to think about those nameless people overcome with their own personal sorrow. And one more thing, would you please consider clicking on one of the following links and make a donation? Think of the nameless people who need your help. I am willing to bet you will get something out of it in return.  The American Red Cross; Partners In Health;  TOMS; The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society; Bethany Christian Services

Busy Betty Eats Mexican

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

Cacy here. How are you? Goodness. I went out to a local Mexican restaurant last night. The place was packed. It was a Friday night, so I wasn’t surprised to see the crowds. Nor, was I surprised to see the kids. Lots of kids. Why do parents let their kids run around restaurants, especially when the restaurants are packed and the wait staff is running around trying to cater to every need? Sure, some folks smile at the cute little tots running all over the place, but the same smiling folks are thinking, “Ok. Cute kid. Now control it, please.” Continue reading “Busy Betty Eats Mexican” →

Joy and laughter

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment
The Forget Me Not Flower

I went to a funeral today, and I had a great time. My siblings had an exciting life, at least from my vantage point. I watched them from afar – always wanting to know what they were doing, who they were with, etc. To a certain extent, my siblings were a mystery to me, much like the teacher’s lounge in school. You knew the teacher’s lounge was the coolest place, but it was forbidden for students to enter, so it remained a mystery.

5yrs younger than my closest sister (I have four sisters and one brother), the gap in age was big enough that I rarely played in their reindeer games. Though the age gap hasn’t changed, growing older seems to bring the gap a bit closer together. So now, I can laugh with them as they reflect on the fun they had. I can pretend I was with them, without all the side effects.

So, the funeral was for a great man. He was well known in our neighborhood, in part, because he was a broadcast journalist. Though, I am certain, this man would have been well known in our neighborhood even if it didn’t work in front of the camera. In some regards, he reminded me of my Dad. He was tall, well built and formidable. Though, underneath his intimidating exterior, he was kind and loving. (And today I learned, he was an excellent pool player.)

This man reminded me of my Dad. He also reminded me of our other neighbor. And now, these three men, all larger than life, have died. It is the end of an era. No, we didn’t see the families often as the years passed. And, aside from one family, no one lives in the neighborhood anymore. Still, in less than five minutes of chatting, it was as if no time had passed.

The kids of these great men laughed about the days long passed. And, though I didn’t participate in many of the memories they shared, I was able to laugh with them. I finally moved up from the kid table to the adult table. And, they weren’t whispering or trying to hide things from me. It was fun. Did I mention the laughter? So much laughter.

When I die, I hope there is a fun filled memorial service that includes tons of loud laughter. If any of my siblings are still alive, the loud part is a certainty. No one in my family is quiet. I hate that we miss our memorial services. I would enjoy being surrounded by people who love me and hearing their fun and happy memories. (Hopefully, they would keep their gripes about me on the down low.)

Going back to the man we remembered today, he was a star to me. As a kid, I wanted to be a broadcast journalist. Actually, I wanted to be a broadcast meteorologist. Virgina Gunn was a local weather broadcaster, and I wanted to be Virginia Gunn. (I wanted to be Joan Embery, too. She worked at the San Diego Zoo. But, I digress…) I was star struck. Just across the street from my house lived what I believed to be a celebrity. I once watched him do a news story in front of his house. I loved it.

I also loved New Year’s Eve. My family was invited to this man’s house several times for their New Year’s Eve parties. I don’t know how many parties my parents attended, but I remember attending some as a kid. And, I remember the parents gathering in the kitchen and singing for hours. Literally hours. I loved listening to them singing. So many fantastic voices singing great oldies. In fact, during the memorial service today, I swear the lady singing the hymns behind me was someone who attended the New Year’s Eve parties of the past. Did I mention I loved their New Year’s Eve parties?

When a loved one dies, it sucks. Pardon my language, but I believe the term ‘suck’ is an appropriate term. The opportunity to gather with friends and family and recall fun times with the lost loved one makes the bitter pill easier to swallow. And, I find talking about the death of the loved helps ease the pain, too. Though I like to talk about the sadness, I have observed that some people prefer not to talk about it. Whether or not you like to talk about the death of a loved one, I hope you are able to laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to laugh that a person died. Silly. That would be rude. I do hope that you are able to remember some fun times that bring you to laughter.