The Crazy Behind the Curtain

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Getting up and heading to church on Sundays is something we do more often than not. The morning pace is slow, but we manage to make it to the church on time. The boys go to their Sunday school classes, and Rob and I go to our Sunday school class. This past Sunday was different. We were given the task (honor, really) to light the first candle of the advent season. We were to light the candle during the 9:30 am church service.

Our morning routine was a little more rushed, wanting to look our very best for the congregation. I wanted to make sure the boys wore their pants without holes, and shirts/sweaters that actually matched their pants. On this particular Sunday – socks and sandals would not be acceptable. We were rushing around in an attempt to look like the ‘perfect’ family.

As we were heading to church, I noticed several other cars on the road. And, from what I could see, many of the cars had folks dressed in their ‘Sunday’ best. I reflected back to Thanksgiving, when my niece took a picture of me, Rob and the boys, because the holiday season typically brings with it greeting cards. Many greeting cards. And, many of the greeting cards include a picture of the family. Most pictures show a happy family, smiling beautifully in their best holiday clothes. Or perhaps, the picture was taken at the beach, and they are donning similar outfits – white tops and blue bottoms. Regardless of the pose or the clothes, taking the perfect holiday picture is a ritual for many families. And, wanting to include a picture of our perfect family in our holiday card, I made sure our family took part in the ritual.

Perhaps, if you peel back the curtain in our family you may find: the rushing around the house; the bickering and snapping over this and that, because of this and that; the pull in the pantyhose that leads to a run, because of an attempt to chase the dog off the bed and out of the bedroom, while also trying to get dressed; the grape jelly that falls off the toast and lands on a clean Sunday shirt, as a 4yr old eats while also bouncing in his chair; the glitter glue picture that had to be completed by a 5yr old and ends up in his lap – leaving globs of glue behind on his Sunday pants; etc.

Then again, you may find a perfectly composed family, clean and neat, with freshly washed and pressed clothes, brushed teeth and hair, all smiles and ready to please. Though, as I shake a Magic 8 Ball, I’m not at all surprised to find, “Looks Doubtful.”

What follows is a series of photo mishaps, in the effort of getting the ‘perfect’ shot. Starting with my boys, in a series of pictures where one realizes he is tickling the other to the point of no return. And, I am not including the perfect shots, because really, there is more fun to be had while living in the crazy.

Look. Charlie is a little ticklish.

Charlie is ticklish, Mom.

This is kind of fun!

And, we're done!

While positioning the kids, my friend (and photographer) saw a chance and took it.

How many more pictures do we have to take?!

Be kind, take care of yourself and each other, and make sure you have fun while living in the crazy!

Friday Fruitcakes and Fantasies

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.:: Fruitcake
This week Rob and I drove down to Savannah, GA. As we drove down I-16, we passed by Claxton, GA. What? You’ve never heard of Claxton, GA? How can that be possible? Claxton, GA is the fruitcake capital of the world. Fruitcake capital, people! And, I’m not talking fruitcake as in ‘crazy’.

Hold on. You don’t know what fruitcake is? Fruitcake is cake made with chopped candied fruit, nuts and spices. Though some people actually consume the supposedly edible cake, others use the brick shaped concoction for door stops.

Rob’s Dad is a lover of fruitcake. And, I admit, Rob is a lover of fruitcake. (I saw past this flaw and married Rob anyway.) Driving by Claxton, GA was fitting this week, as it was a fruitcake kind of week. Of course, by fruitcake, I am now using the word to mean ‘crazy’. . .

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.:: Here’s the deal, folks…
With the death of James, this week ‘spent’ me emotionally. James was Rob’s cousin. He was my father-in-law’s nephew. James lived in Jacksonville, FL, and I saw him a handful of times. Still – James and I actively chatted online. Actively. James and I cut-up with each other. He found me funny, and I found him funny. We both appreciated the humor and the laughter. And now? Now, I’ve lost my funny buddy. And, the hole created in my life with the loss of James is huge. I’d love to email James – but ding dang it all, James isn’t here to reply to my email and send me a funny email response to elevate my mood.

I want to be funny. If only as a tribute to James. But, humor is a hard thing to locate right now. Because in addition to losing James, my friend Andrea HT dealing with yucky stuff pertaining to her Mom’s cancer battle. My friend Andrea HT is in the midst of a roller coaster ride, and it isn’t the kind of roller coaster where folks are willing to stand in line for hours to ride.

As I said to Andrea HT, I find myself saying “la la la la la…” in my head, attempting to drown out the sorrow. Hey! I know, in an effort to embrace my crazy and fruitcake-self, I will now change course and start a top 10 – make that a top 8 –  list …

.:: Top 8 Non-sense Words Spoken in Our House
8. Doogie Whompers
7. Bumper-doo
6. Wee-honked
5. Dingle Dork
4. Ka’nuckle Head
3. Bubba Bean Head
2. Kerplunk-kerplooey
1. Ding-dangity

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.:: Fantasy Meets Reality
Continuing with my rattling on of rambles, I share with you a story that has nothing to do with anything … this is a story of my fantasy shaking hands with my reality…

One of the Dads I see at my son’s school is on the attractive side, in part because he has very long hair. (Though the hair is just part of his attractive looks…) Rob knows long hair is something I quite enjoy on guys. I’ve tried puling his hair at night, in hopes of increasing the length – to no avail. And, I’ve joked with Rob about this guy, assuring him that no impure thoughts have crossed my mind. Which is a true statement. Still, I find this long haired man nice to stalk – er – look at.

Well, my son had a program and special lunch at school this week, and Rob and I attended. When it came time to sit down for lunch, the long haired man sat across from Rob. My son was chatting with the long haired man’s son (who happens to be in my son’s class). The next thing I know, the two grown men – Rob and the object of my stalking – er – stares – introduced themselves to each other and shook hands. Excuse me?! What?!

As soon as the two men met, I heard the bursting sound of my fantasy bubble. Now that Mr. Reality and Mr. Fantasy are ‘acquaintances’, my desire to stare at Mr. Long-locks has lessened . .  a bit. *sigh* After the lunch, as we walked to the car, I grumbled to Rob about meeting my fantasy man. Interestingly, Rob has been smiling ever since.

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Be kind, and take care of yourself and each other.

Running with Scissors

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Be advised, I am going to whine. Well, I am going to try to whine. Things are a bit crazy in the house right now. The dogs found the cat’s litter box, the kids are running around with scissors, and my husband is beckoning me to the bedroom. Well, we don’t have a cat, so the litter box part isn’t true. And, the scissors have the rounded tip; sure, the scissors are rusty – but rounded, nonetheless.

“Joe, it would be best if you ran with the scissors closed.”

If you are looking for a well organized post with a point at the end, move along to another post, please. If you are looking for humor, well – please continue reading. I will certainly try to accommodate you. (While also trying to accommodate my family.)

“Hang on, Honey! I’ll be there in a minute! Promise. Yep, love you, too!”

Amidst this crazy house, I am looking for a moment of quiet. Last Friday I noted that blogging helps keep me sane; alas, I haven’t had a chance to collect my random thoughts since last Friday. I have been unable to find a moment of silence between the busy household and the many voices in my head. Even as the sun sets and I snuggle in for the night, the voices continue, making my early bedtime not so early.

“Charlie, pick the scissors or the screwdriver. Don’t run with both, please.”

Mmmm . . . Dutch Monkey Doughnuts

Today, as I drove to my boss’ house, I found myself dosing. Though my morning coffee revs my engines for a bit, I find I begin to drag again by 9am. My husband says I need to start exercising again. I know he is right, but I’m tired. And, since I am tired, I decide pull into Dutch Monkey Doughnuts for some – well, doughnuts – and coffee. I am sure my boss will love having a treat when I arrive. Besides, why get your blood flowing with exercise, when you can use sugar and caffeine?

“Honest, Dear. I’ll be there in a minute. Watch the video one more time.”

And, really, exercise? I can think of countless other things that need my attention more than exercise. Trouble is, I find as I contemplate everything that needs my attention, I want to hunker down and lose myself in a mindless television show. As my every growing butt sits comfortably on the slowly sagging couch, I wonder, “How do you spell lazy?” L E N O R E.

“Cool, Boys! That scissor sword fight looks like fun!”
“Wow – you missed Charlie’s eye by a hair.”
“Skillful dodging there, Charlie.”

Well, I suppose I had better tend to my husband’s beckoning. Plus, based on the red marks I see on the boys’ arms, I may need to pull out some band aids. The good news, the boys will be in bed soon, and my husband? Yeah, he’ll be asleep in 13 minutes. Looks like I’ll get some quiet time after all. I think I’ll have a doughnut.