Category: This and that

Reality meeting Reality

~ Lenore Diane ~ 1 Comment

First, I finished month-end billing. This matters to you, I know. And, because I have finished month end billing, I feel a weight has been lifted. Woo hoo! Just in time for the weekend. Second, I found the source of my fear and anxiety.

The Log Lodge Bunch and Grandpa Bob

See the picture? This is the Log Lodge Bunch in the Spring of 2007. See the cute kid in front with a green shirt and wearing glasses? Yeah, that kid. That’s my oldest son, Joe. Joe starts kindergarten in August this year. See the the dark haired girl holding a baby? Yeah, that baby is my kid, too. That’s Charlie, who is turning 4 in June. The only kids in the picture that are still part of the Log Lodge crew are Joe and Charlie. The others have moved on to ‘big kid’ school.

I can handle my boys getting older. Truly. I do not have a sense of fear or anxiety with the thought and realization that they are getting older. However, see the lady in the picture? That’s our daycare provider, Suzann. The thought that my boys are getting to the age where they will leave Suzann’s place is making me crazy with fear and anxiety. (I’ll write about Suzann soon. She is an incredible person.)

I have my feet on the ground. Yes, though my head can be found in the clouds frequently throughout the day, I believe I have a pretty good grip of reality. [Oh, keep quiet Peanut Gallery. Thanks.] And, I have been well aware of the fact that my boys will one day go to school. I guess what I failed to grasp was how our life would change drastically once they started school and are dictated by the school calendar.

This morning, the boys and I sat on the couch sipping our soy milk and coffee, while watching Curious George. (Straight black coffee for me, and straight soy milk for the boys.) When he is not working at home, Rob leaves for the office before the kids and I get out of bed. Charlie and I didn’t stumble out of our rooms until 7AM. Joe joined us on the couch around 7:15. And, we sat. We chatted about George and the man in the yellow hat, and we discussed the different ways a person can get dressed. For instance, Charlie likes to get fully undressed and sit a minute before moving forward with dressing. Once ready to get dressed, Charlie likes to put on his socks first, followed by underwear, pants and shirt. While Joe prefers taking one item of clothing off at a time, replacing it with a clean item. For example, he takes his shirt off, and he puts on a clean shirt, etc. We cover some serious issues in the morning.

I enjoy the fact that our weekday mornings move in a slow and casual pace, because where we have to go in the morning does not come with a time constraint. Yes, the boys were going to Suzann’s house; and yes, I needed to go to my boss’ house; but, there was no bell that was going to ring, indicating we were late. Sometimes we have to step up the slow pace due to appointments, but generally speaking – our weekday mornings are similar to weekend mornings: slow, comfortable and casual.

All of this is going to change come August 2010. Joe will have to get up earlier, eat breakfast and head to school before the bell rings. Charlie and I will no longer get to sit with Joe, casually enjoying the morning. We will no longer get to play impromptu games of Hi-Ho Cherry-O or Chutes and Ladders. (OK, so I won’t miss those impromptu games.) We will no longer be able to stumble out of bed at 7AM or 7:15AM. And, in another year, Charlie will be waking up earlier, eating breakfast and making sure he gets to school before the bell rings.

I am going to miss my quiet and casual time with the boys. And, because I work, I will miss the freedom and flexibility with my work hours. I’ve yet to sit and talk about it with my boss, but my availability with regards to work is going to be compromised. Like many working Moms before me, I will now have the responsibility of picking Joe up from school in the middle of my workday. And, come school holiday time, I will have to juggle having Joe home while meeting my paid-gig responsibilities. The short holidays won’t pose a huge problem, but I’m not sure how the whole “Summer break” is going to pan out for us.

Again, I know I am not the first Mom to come to this stage of reality, and I won’t be the last Mom that faces this stage of reality. I also know this is not a huge deal in the scheme of things. Yet, I am a little bummed and overcome with a bit of fear and anxiety for the pending reality. I quite enjoy my current reality, especially the indigo skies and sunflower lined roads. Oh wait. Sorry. I confused my reality with fantasy, or is it I confused my fantasy with reality? Anyway, as I was saying, I love the slow pace of mornings in my house. And, I am sad this reality is coming to an end. However, until my current reality meets my new reality, I will definitely milk the remaining 4 months I have left to sit and enjoy the casual morning time with the boys. [Oh, and I’ll enjoy the cups of coffee, too. Love me some fresh brewed coffee in the morning!]

Delirious

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

I am trimming my hair again today. The fact that I am once again trimming my hair is not an indication of happy and relaxing times. And, the trimming is becoming increasingly more noticeable. I’m feeling anxious. I’m missing my routine life, even the part where I complain about my regular routine. Since returning from my awesome weekend away with Rob, my routine has been out of whack. Such is the price of vacation, I suppose.

Prepping for Easter celebrations, birthday parties, being sick, PMS, catering to sick kids and being a single parent while Rob is out of town are just a few of the interruptions of my routine. I’m also dealing with the typical large work load that occurs at the end/start of every month. In my head, I picture myself huddled in a ball and rocking back and forth. The worst part? I’m so out of whack I have no desire to eat junk food. What?! The food addict doesn’t want to eat junk? Dang. This is serious. [Though I have lost five pounds in the past couple of weeks.]

Next week doesn’t look much like a routine week, either. Rob will be out of pocket for three nights, traveling and going to meetings. I am hoping for some serious alone time this weekend. I’d love to have time to catch up on household chores and sit in silence when done with the chores, perhaps reading a book or two. The one glitch  may be my mother-in-law’s birthday. I was thinking of baking another pound cake for the birthday gal, in hopes it would excuse me from going to my in-laws’ house to celebrate her birthday. Though it may not help me win points with the mother-in-law, I think my father-in-law would be pleased. He enjoyed many slices of the pound cake I made for Easter.

Today, I have managed to do a whole bunch of absolutely nothing. Well, I did some laundry, changed around my blog appearance, wandered around the house in a daze, got the mail and let the dogs in and out – and in and out – and in and out. But, other than that, I’ve done nothing. You see, I should be working. I should be completing tasks for my paid job. I really do have invoices to create and prep for my boss on Monday. But, I am freaking. I am anxious. Can’t put my finger on why I am freaking and anxious. I am just freaking and anxious. Perhaps extreme amounts of pollen have gotten into my brain and is causing delirium. Perhaps I’ve blown my nose too hard and too often these past 5 days. Hmm, as I twirl my hair with my finger, I’m noticing another uneven spot. I better go get the scissors.

I’m a writer not a baker

~ Lenore Diane ~ 3 Comments

First, please look at the image attached to this post. See the picture on the Swans Down flour box? It shows a chocolate cake. Second, I am not Betty baker. Though I can bake, I rarely bake and my baking supplies are minimal to nonexistent. And third, I am not good at math. Although it is not required to have math skills when baking, the ability to add is helpful.

My mother-in-law is a baker. In fact, my mother-in-law is an excellent baker. So as not to entice jealousy, my Mum is an excellent baker, too. My Mum makes THE BEST apple pies. And, she used to make Whoopi-pies, which were fantastic. Anyway, my mother-in-law passed along her pound cake recipe. Actually, it is not her pound cake recipe; it is her mother-in-law’s pound cake recipe. The recipe may go back even more mother-in-laws, but really, that word is a pain to type, so I’m stopping with my husband’s Dad’s Mom. [Are you following me?]

Pound cakes are both my husband’s and his Dad’s favorite cake.  I am baking a pound cake today, for a family gathering tomorrow. Today marks the fourth time I have baked a pound cake. The first time I made the pound cake, I started crying at the grocery store. Again, note the picture. The cake in the picture is chocolate. Generally speaking, pound cakes are not chocolate. My mother-in-law specifically stated I needed to buy Swans Down cake flour. The only Swans Down cake flour I saw had a chocolate cake on the front of the box. Cue the tears and panic.

Rest assured, I have cake baking experience now. I am no longer intimidated by the chocolate cake on the front of the Swans Down cake flour box. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law enjoys bringing up the fact that I was traumatized when I bought my first box. Thankfully, she’s a Southern lady, so she sounds nice when she is mocking me.

So, today I gathered my supplies to bake the cake including butter, cream cheese, sugar, eggs, flour and vanilla. Now I was ready to gather the instruments needed to measure, mix and bake. I don’t own a mixing bowl. Yes, I do have a stainless steel Farberware bowl (three different sizes), but those bowls are not big enough for cake mixes. And, the only mixer I own is a 3-speed hand mixer, so it’s not like I can use the mixing bowl that comes with a stand mixer. After looking around in various cabinets for something I knew did not exist in my house, I decided to use the crock-pot.

Next, I needed to locate a measuring cup. According to my mother-in-law’s directions, I needed to put the ingredients in slowly and a half a cup at a time. Ok. No problem. I’ll just pull out my half cup measuring cup. Hmmm …. yeah. Where is that measuring cup? Maybe it is this measuring cup that doesn’t have a handle. It fits in the one cup measuring cup, and the one third and one quarter measuring cup fit in it. Yes, I will assume this measuring cup with no handle or markings is a half cup measuring cup.

As I started mixing the ingredients, again following the advice of my mother-in-law, I was putting in the ingredients a half a cup at a time. I take you back to the fact that having math skills, which I don’t possess, is a nice plus, when baking. One needs to remember that 3 cups becomes 6 when using half cups. And, when one is talking to his or herself while using what they  assume is a half-cup measuring cup, well – it is easy to get flustered. I second guessed myself so many times, when mixing the ingredients. “Wait – was that a full cup, or was that the third half cup I just dumped in the bowl?” And remember, I am using a hand mixer, so I have to stop it every time I dump in the ingredients, which – for my small and math-challenged brain – flusters me even more when trying to keep count.

I am sure the cake will turn out perfectly. And, I am sure it will be enjoyed tomorrow at the family gathering. No, I am not worried about whether or not the cake will be good. I know it will be good. Still, as I made this – my fourth pound cake, I recalled my first attempt. I’ve come along way, even without a mixing bowl and proper measuring cups. I am sure my mother-in-law is proud. [Well, if she isn’t proud, at least she would sound nice in her Southern accent.]