Santa. Not everyone believes in Santa. Not everyone celebrates Christmas. But, many would say talking about Santa and Christmas now – before Thanksgiving- is way too early. Regardless of one’s belief or my timing, I think we can learn a great deal from the folklore of Santa. He, plumply, embodies giving, loving and caring.
Visiting Santa 2008
Though Santa supposedly resides at the North Pole, I tell you – he lives in the state of Georgia. In fact, the merry, old elf lives less than 5 miles from our house. And, we get excited when we drive by his house during the ‘off season’ and find him working in his garden (always donning a red shirt). In October, after harvesting his garden, Santa begins transforming his home, inside and outside, into a Christmas wonderland.
Charlie, Mrs. Claus and Joe, 2008
Santa and Mrs. Claus have opened their house to their neighbors every year for over 13 years. And by neighbors, I mean anyone who happens to drive by their house. We first heard about our neighborhood Santa at a Christmas party. We were told how this older couple, living off a road we rarely traveled, opened their home to everyone during the Christmas season. Initially, I thought the idea sounded odd. Opening your house to a bunch of strangers? Really? Then, in 2008, we decided to load up the kids and check out this jolly fellow and his wife, Mrs. Claus. Instantly, we were hooked.
This Friday, our family will officially start the 2010 Christmas season by heading to Santa’s house. And, we look forward to visiting him every Friday and Saturday night through Christmas Eve. (We may even go visit him on Sunday nights.) In addition, we will go out of our way to drive by Santa’s during the other nights of the week, just to get a glimpse of all the lights and decorations.
Joe, Santa and Charlie 2009
Having Santa and Mrs. Claus as neighbors gives our boys a different perspective on the man who travels house to house on Christmas Eve, delivering presents. Believing in Santa is easy for Joe and Charlie, in part because because they see where Santa lives, and they see him year-round. But the boys aren’t quite sure how Santa manages the gift giving thing in one night. Though really, neither Joe nor Charlie lose sleep wondering how Santa manages his workload. Nah. Joe and Charlie are too excited about visiting Santa; they don’t get bogged down with the details. Plus, Santa gives them a candy cane every time they visit. Every time! Man, that is the greatest thing ever. Just ask the boys.
We are grateful for Santa and Mrs. Claus, who truly embody the act of giving, loving and caring every year. Regardless of your faith, may you grab hold of the spirit of Santa and Mrs. Claus this holiday season and throughout the new year.
My husband’s Aunt Mary Alice ends most of her emails to us by writing, “Take care of yourself and each other.” If you’ve read any of my Flighty Friday posts, you may have noticed I end my posts with a similar saying, “Take care of yourself, and be kind to each other.” I adore Mary Alice, and I adore Mary Alice’s family.
Mary Alice played the piano and organ at our wedding. Now in her 80s, she continues teaching piano lessons and playing the organ for various churches in her area. Mary Alice is an active, strong and classy woman. She has experienced a great deal in her 80+ years, including taking care of her in-laws during their illnesses.
James and his Mom, Mary Alice
Uncle Edward, Mary Alice’s husband, died three years ago. Edward had Alzheimers and cancer, and Mary Alice took care of him. Mary Alice’s daughter is a cancer survivor, having won the battle against Breast Cancer. YES! Sadly, this past Saturday, Mary Alice’s son, James, lost his battle with cancer. James had all kinds of cancer.
Cancer sucks. Death sucks. Having a cold or the flu sucks, but cancer and death suck more. I realize when “suck” is used in certain context, some may find the word offensive. My apologies if you are offended. I find ‘death’ and ‘cancer’ offensive.
Death sucks for those left behind. Cancer sucks for those fighting the battle. Sure, cancer sucks for those helping their loved ones fight the battle, but I think it sucks more for the actual fighter.
And the cancer fighters? There is an army of fighters. Though lately, it seems the fighters are losing the battle. My neighbor’s friend’s Dad died this past Wednesday. He had cancer. A friend from my son’s school had a friend die last week. His friend had cancer. My boss’ Mother-in-law died earlier this year. She had cancer. Another friend of mine lost her Mom to cancer three years ago. My father died over 20yrs ago. He had cancer. The list goes on and on. Have I mentioned cancer sucks? How about death? Did I mention death sucks? Just checking.
I realize there are thousands and thousands of cancer survivors. Ya’hoo! And, I say that at the top of my lungs! YA’HOO!!! And, I remind you that Mary Alice’s daughter is one of the cancer survivors. YES! The survivors help motivate those caught up in the battle. The survivors give us all hope that remission and cures are possible. Still …
I asked a friend of mine recently, “Is cancer more prevalent these days or are we just getting older?” Her thought was that we were just getting older. I’m sure there were friends and family members that died of cancer when I was a youth, teenager and young adult. Alas, during those years I was was pretty self-absorbed. (Yeah, yeah – maybe I am still a little self-absorbed. Your point?!)
Later this week, my husband and I will drive to Savannah, GA to attend James’ burial. We are missing the visitation and funeral in Jacksonville, FL. I am trying to prepare myself emotionally. James was a light in my life. He inspired me with his wit, his smile, his optimism, his wit, his wit – and have I mentioned his wit? I stop short in calling him a smart-ass, out of respect for his Mom. But honestly – in the best way, he was a … well, you know. (At least he was with me, and I loved it!)
At the risk of sounding cheesy, I feel James around me. And, I know when I attend the burial (and reception), I’ll feel his optimism and joy for life. Joy for life at a burial? Yes. Seriously, James was so bright to me, I know I’ll feel his joy. What I don’t know is how I will handle seeing his Mom. His Mom. Wow. It should come as no surprise that Mary Alice’s kids are as awesome as they are – because their influence is/was nothing but the best. Seeing Mary Alice will break my heart. As a Mom, I can’t fathom burying my child. That is not how the circle of life is suppose to play out. And yet, a child losing a parent is also hard – regardless of age.
.~.
Andrea's daughter with 'Nana'
My friend’s Mom is battling cancer. Like James, my friend’s Mom has all kinds of cancer. Like Mary Alice, my friend is not new to cancer. She lost her brother over 20yrs ago to a brain tumor. My friend lives in FL, and my friend’s Mom lives in NC. My friend, her name is Andrea, left FL this past weekend, to spend the week before Thanksgiving with her Mom. She’s spending quiet time with her Mom, before the rest of the family gathers for Thanksgiving.
Ever since Andrea’s Mom was diagnosed with cancer, I’ve taken it upon myself to touch base with her daily. Yesterday, during our emails back and forth, she described the overall feeling at her parent’s house. I asked Andrea if I could share her thoughts with you. She said I could.
Andrea writes, I’m hoping to spend time with her talking and recording some of the conversations. But I keep finding things in the house that need to be done. There’s a mess in the linen closet that needs to be cleaned. I need to update and print her contact list. I need to go through the refrigerator and throw out old food. Of course these are things I’ll do while she’s asleep, but things I need to do because she would never allow things to get to the state they’re in. Not that it’s horrible – it’s just not up to her standard.
“It’s just not up to her standard.” That gets me. Andrea’s Mom is alive and actively battling cancer. But, she is fighting the battle in bed. Normalcy has changed. The ‘new normal’ is different. The standards are lowered.
It’s weird, Andrea wrote, I don’t really feel her presence in the house anymore, other than her bedroom that is. I don’t know how to put it in words. Her “essence” or “being” isn’t in the kitchen. Or the living room. Or the sun room. Her purse isn’t hanging on the chair in the nook and her sweater isn’t draped over the back of the chair. Her sunglasses and keys aren’t on the table. Little stupid stuff that makes this her home aren’t there anymore. I open the refrigerator door and it’s so obvious that she hasn’t been in it for awhile. The house is no longer under her control. It’s not her domain. I’m trying to find the right words to describe it, but I can’t. Does this make any sense?
Andrea and her Mom
Yes, Andrea. What you wrote makes sense. And, I know anyone who has experienced what you are experiencing will ‘get’ what you’ve written. And, I believe they will find comfort in your words. And, I hope you find comfort knowing you are not alone. And, maybe your Mom’s presence is hard to feel now, because her new normal is not the real normal – the true essence of your Mom. But, when all is said and done, your Mom is with you each and every day – alive or not. She’s in your expressions; she’s in your mannerisms; she’s in your attitude; etc. And Andrea … you look like your Mom.
Obviously, this is a personal (and lengthy) post. I hope I haven’t overstayed my welcome with my 1300 plus word count. But, I needed to write this post. I wanted to shout out support and appreciation to Mary Alice, James and his sister. I wanted to shout out support and appreciation to my friend, Andrea, and her Mom. I needed the release. And, I need (and love) my friends and family. Thank you.
In honor of Mary Alice, James, my friend Andrea, her Mom and your loved ones, please take care of yourself and each other.
I’m trying to put it to the side. Honest. And by ‘it’, I mean Facebook chatter. I mean, seriously, how many of you are growing increasingly tired of reading about Facebook woes? Put your hands down, please. It was a rhetorical question.
A friend of mine sent me a YouTube video from Prairie Home Companion. I really enjoy Prairie Home Companion, and I find Garrison Keillor funny and entertaining. The video (really just audio) was from a Prairie Home Companion episode in early October. And Garrison’s song? “Unfriended”.
As one might assume from the title of the song, “Unfriended” is about being unfriended on Facebook. His lyrics are quite comical. And I feel confident enough to safely assume many people have literally felt what he describes. The line I liked best was “You posted a comment, I thought we were close.”
I find it funny that Garrison, a 68yr old man (I checked Wikipedia, so it must be true) is writing and singing about Facebook. And, I love the fact that the folks in the audience laugh at his lyrics. It is comical. Quite comical. Yet, a part of me is curious about the people in the audience. How many of those folks are active Facebook users? How many of those folks have gotten excited when they received a comment from some obscure ‘friend’? How many of those folks were disheartened when they noticed a ‘friend’ was suddenly gone?
As silly as Facebook is – we still manage to get sucked into it. Oh, I know, you are the exception. You just access it every now and again, you don’t really pay attention to all the status updates, etc. Yes, I know. Clearly, I’m not speaking to you. But for the others, including myself, we’re sucked into it.
I have two friends – real life friends that I can see, feel and converse with using my real vocal chords – and they have yet to step into the world of Facebook. Good for them. To reach out to these two gals, I actually have to pick up a phone, get in a car or send them a note. Get this. These gals aren’t even on Twitter! I know. Shocking, eh? The humanity.
In truth, I know just as many folks who don’t use Facebook and Twitter as I know that use Facebook and Twitter. There are several people out there who are still Facebook free. And sometimes – sometimes I wish I was free from Facebook. Then again, my boys are really cute and well – I think everyone wants to see just how cute they are – right? Am I right?! Plus, Stacey commented on my last status update. I think she and I are close, and I’m sure we’ll meet face to face soon.
Lenore's Thoughts Exactly 