Category: That Time of the Month

The Category name says it all, doesn’t it?
Join me while I open the door to a world you wish would remain behind a closed door.

My Ode to Amherst Shore

~ Lenore Diane ~ 1 Comment
Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia Canada

Since birth, my Mom has taken me to Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia for the Summer. My Mom’s family is from Nova Scotia, and her family always spent Summers at the shore. Now that I have a family of my own, packing up and heading North has become challenging. Finances and vacation time, limit the frequency of our trips. Thankfully, we can live vicariously through our family and friends via Facebook and various photo-sharing websites. In fact, my cousin Lisa is already at the shore and actively posting pictures. *sigh* Some cousins have all the luck.

The View from Aunt Thelma's Cottage

Today, I find myself longing for Amherst Shore. (Lisa!) We won’t make it up this year. I feel guilty whining, because I have so much for which to be thankful. Plus, I know my increasingly somber mood stems from Mother Nature’s wicked ways of hacking into hormones. Still, here I am with a headache and feeling sad. [Enter violinist playing a woeful tune.] Now lamenting, I give you my …

– Ode to Amherst Shore –

Amherst Shore, Amherst Shore how I wish I saw you more.

Grateful for the times I’ve been, knowing I’ll return – but when?

The Original Summer Crew

Walking, talking, sailing and swimming; the fun was endless, always brimming.

The scent of sweet hay filling the air, hanging out nightly, who cares where.

My first kiss I shared with you, and I truly did not know what to do.

Crushes and loves throughout the Summer, some unrequited, what a bummer.

The Big White Cottage

The Big White Cottage where many stayed, was also the place where many played.

Trivial Pursuit, Bridge, Spades, not darts; Did I hear someone just bid two hearts?

We watched the Northern lights one night; oh what a show – oh what a sight.

Jumping off the Northport Bridge

Bridge jumping in Northport was fun to watch; and the Tidnish bridge took it up a notch.

Ketchup chips and Craig’s ice cream, while at the Shore we live the dream.

Who won the annual Brown/Christie Games? It’s all in fun; let’s not name names.

Oh Amherst Shore, Oh Amherst Shore, I know we’ll have more trips in store.

Next year we’ll make it, whatever it takes; in the meantime, please send me Jos. Louis snack cakes.

.:: — ::.

My Memo to Mother Nature

~ Lenore Diane ~ 1 Comment

Lenore Diane’s
Thoughts Exactly

MEMO

To: Mother Nature
From: Lenore Diane
CC: Blogosphere
Date: May 26, 2010
Re: Your Monthly Visit
________________________________________________________________

You are expected to knock on my door within the next 5 days, though you’ve been known to be early, as well as tardy. I am not someone who dreads your visit, except when I was actively trying to get pregnant. In fact, aside from trying to get pregnant, I have always welcomed you with open arms. Moreover, Mother Nature, I have always considered you to be a gift; though the instant the advertisers took hold of and marketed ‘the gift’, my fondness for the term lessened.

As you near my doorstep, my mood becomes increasingly agitated. Why Mother Nature? Why do you play with the hormones of women? Are women not moody enough for you? Why must you create a state of added wee-honkness? We can handle the cramps. We can handle the bloating. We can handle the backache. But increased moodiness? You’re playing with fire, Mother Nature.

And Mother Nature, please. Would you kindly send us some good advertisers to promote the products needed during your visit? It is not clear to me what the advertisers are thinking, when they put together various ad campaigns and slogans. I am afraid the advertisers don’t take into consideration that women tend to be cranky when you arrive. Speaking personally, the shiny happy faces promoting feminine products feeds my crankiness. These women are not shiny and happy, trust me.

Mother Nature, Tampax suggests women use their tampons, “So [one] can keep shining, whatever your “weather” may be?” Tampax also has a product line called ‘Tampax Pearl’. Pearl? Are women suppose to equate feminine protection to pearls? Not sure about most women, but I prefer to wear my pearls as a necklace or earrings. I see no reason to incorporate pearls with my cycle. Although, perhaps I would have a ‘happy period’ if I wore my pearl earrings and necklace during your visit, Mother Nature.

And, Always’ marketing campaigns? Oh Mother Nature, how I have ranted about Always. [‘Happy Period’? Don’t get me started.] Well, I noticed Always has a new tag line for their liners. Supposedly, Always’ liners “Keep you centered.” Really? So, if I am finding it hard to balance my life, all I have to do is wear an Always liner and I will feel centered?! Amazing! Perhaps finding balance isn’t a myth, after all!

Mother Nature, I know this is not a traditional memo. My apologies. Still, I wanted to write you and express my frustration. And, since your arrival is nearing, it should come as no surprise that I am feeling frustrated, eh? Mother Nature, I request sweetly, please reach out and knock some sense in to the advertisers of feminine products

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to try and reign in the cravings that hit this time of the month, while doing my best to be a shiny, happy woman. Approach with caution.

They have a pill for that

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

First, I am sitting at my local coffee joint, where they offer free WiFi and coffee served at a drinkable temperature. I absolutely love the fact that I can order a cup of coffee here and take a sip immediately, without scalding my mouth. Clearly, I am not sitting at a Starbucks. And, you will not find any ‘caution: contains hot liquid’ in this joint. Scalding is not the passion of this coffee house; instead, this place has a passion for providing wonderful coffee at the perfect temperature.

Ok. There is no second, so I should not have said ‘first’. Oh well.

I am certain there is a pill available to cure what ails me. This weekend I am battling all the symptoms that come with PMS. The worst symptoms of PMS for me are an increased lack of patience and anger/rage. Earlier today, I yelled at my husband for no good reason. Sure, I had several reasons at the time of my unleashing, but the sane side of me (which still exists amidst the crazy) knew my husband had done nothing wrong. In fact, the monologue of rage was completed, when I closed my eyes and came back to reality, calming stating what was real.

When not in the throws of PMS, I have come to accept my husband completely. This acceptance did not come easy, and it has only come recently. I no longer have major expectations of my husband. I accept the fact that he and I are different in many ways, and I see the value in our differences. (God knows, I could not handle him if he were crazy like me.) Perhaps more importantly, I accept my role in life. I accept how I respond to things, how I see things and how I have the ability to change my responses and perceptions.

I know my role in this life is to be the [main] disciplinarian in the house, to be the book and house keeper, to be the decision and appointment maker/keeper, etc. And, I know my controlling tendencies makes me a perfect candidate for the aforementioned roles. Also, I know that if any of these roles were to disappear, I would be lost. Yes, I would eventually find myself again, but I would miss the role I had played. I think I am good at my role. No. Scratch that, I think I am damn good at  my role. The best? Perhaps not the best; then again, for my life, I am the best.

One of  my biggest challenges right now is the affects of PMS. This is something that will occur every 28 days (or so) for the next 5 – 10 years. What’s worse, I hear the affects of menopause could be equally as challenging as PMS. And, as I said earlier, I am sure there is a pill I could take to ease the affects of PMS, but I’d prefer to find a pill-free way to cope. I’d like to find a medication-free way to deal with the crazy and keep my family from seeing the crazy.

I’ve had one friend suggest an IUD to help balance the moodiness. I’ve also had a friend recommend Yaz. I appreciate their advice. But, I am already living with the side effects of taking sertraline (Zoloft), which includes weight gain, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, etc. I’d rather not put more meds in my body and start battling more side effects. Plus, I do believe changing the natural chemistry of the body increases the chances of things like cancer, diabetes, etc.

I’m no Natural Nancy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Natural Nancy (or Natural Nate, for that matter). Still, I prefer to keep my chemistry and hormone levels at its natural state. If I find I a become stricken with Cancer, rest assured I will sign up for whatever treatment is available to me. Until then, the human body is a miracle in and of itself. It throws all of us curves every now and again. When left to its own devices, though, the body heals itself.

So. Where does that leave me today? While I am overcome with a lack of patience and crazy frustrated with the slightest glitch in the day, what can I do to muster through it, keeping my relationships in tact? Suggestions? I’d love to hear what you suggest. I can tell you, coming to this local coffee joint is doing me good. The music in the background, the coffee and veggie and hummus sandwich are all good. I am guessing getting out by myself is a great way to control the crazy. I asked my husband yesterday, if he wanted me out of the house. Though I believe part of my husband wanted me gone, he told me he wanted me to stay. And, we made it through the day. We even took the boys to a park and spent some great time outdoors. Sure, even while enjoying the beautiful outdoors, I had moments of crazy crankiness, but we all lived, happily even.

Tomorrow is Monday. My husband and I will go off to work, and our boys will go to their day care provider. We’ll find time to ourselves, as we take part in the routine of the work week. I find solace in the routine of our work week. Perhaps by the end of the work week, this month’s PMS battle will be completed, with little to no casualties. In the meantime, please excuse me. I just received a refill of freshly made decaf coffee, and I’d like to sip, surf and enjoy. Good day.