Many phases exist in life. Strictly speaking on the subject of family, I consider infancy Phase 1 and toddler hood is Phase 2. Once kids start school, parents enter Phase 3. How many Phases in parenthood? Who knows. But, I am going to talk about my experience within these phases.
Yesterday, I invited myself to a party. Yes, I invited myself to my very own pity party, and I sat at a table for one. The music playing in the background was the song by Moving Pictures, “What About Me”.
The family gathered in the living room waiting for our nephew to start opening his birthday cards and presents. He opened his first card and read it aloud. When he got to the handwritten sentiment, he had to pass it to someone else to read. “I can’t read cursive.” He said.
What?! What did my 14yr old nephew say? He can’t read cursive? What?!
I interrupt my sick-induced respite, as well as your life, to bring you this breaking news.
My 7yr old has just alerted me to the fact that frozen foods cure fevers.
Due to technical difficulties, we are not able to bring you any video or audio of the incredible and groundbreaking information. What follows is a copy of the transcript.
Joe: Mommy, did you know frozen foods cure fevers?
Mommy: No, I did not know that.
Joe: Well, it is true. When you have a fever, it is because your body is very hot. So, what you do is you eat lots of frozen food. The cold from the frozen food will meet up with the germs, which are hot. Once the frozen foods connect with the germs, the germs sizzle. You’ll feel a little weird at first, but then you’ll feel better. So, since you have a fever, you should eat frozen foods. Oh, and you need to drink tons of water, too. Frozen foods and water are very important when you have a fever.
This concludes this breaking news story, you may return to your life already in progress.