Category: Junk Drawer

Looking through the rear-view mirror with music

~ Lenore Diane ~ 2 Comments

Question: Am I the only one who hears voices in her (his) head? No? I didn’t think so. Wait. Was that just one of the many voices in my head speaking? I’m so confused.

I’m not sure if I am feeling anxious because of the countless voices in my head, or if the countless voices in my head are trying to ease the anxiety I feel. Recently, while watching a program about ADD, I heard someone compare ADD to driving. When driving, the driver needs to focus on the road ahead of him/her, glancing at the rear-view mirror occasionally. However, those with ADD tend to become distracted with looking at the rear-view mirror and are unable to focus on what is ahead of them.

While driving home from work today, I realized the voices in my head are louder when I don’t want look at what is in front of me. On days like today, I don’t want to see the road ahead; instead, I want to look through the rear-view mirror and see what is behind me. I want the option to relive the happy times and reflect on the happy memories. And, by looking through the rear-view mirror, I have greater control with keeping myself in a happy place.

When I am looking back, I find music is the best way to recall the happy times. For instance, I was listening to some incredible music today. The music was off a CD I purchased years ago, consisting of cover songs performed by local musicians. Sadly, I loaned the CD to a friend, and the friend never returned it. Happily, I had friends with the same CD, and they made me a copy of it. Anyway, I found myself looking in the rear view mirror of my life, recalling some great memories, all triggered by the music.

I was in this same crazed-state of mind a few weeks ago, when my friend James was ill and nearing death. When he died, as Rob and I drove to Savannah for the burial, I needed a release from all the voices in my head and all the sadness I was feeling. I found listening to Ozzy Osborn’s ‘Crazy Train’ quite effective. Appropriate, eh? Yes, well, I also found a nice release listening to Evanescence’s ‘Going Under’.

Today, my friend is flying to North Carolina to be with her Mom before her Mom dies. And, as I type, my heart begins to race with the anxiety I felt when I did a similar thing over 16 yrs ago. Please excuse my repetitiveness, because I know I have written about this in a previous post or two…

I flew from Washington, DC to Atlanta, hoping to make it home before my Dad died. To this day, that flight was the longest flight I have ever taken because the time seemed to crawl. As I type, my friend is boarding a plane, carrying with her the same hope I carried with me. And, as I think about my friend, I become overwhelmed with sadness. Cue the music!

Today, four songs off the previously mentioned CD helped me drown out the sadness and/or distract me from the crazy. All of the songs off the CD are cover songs, originally performed by other musicians. The songs, Whole of the Moon, Weakness in Me, Piece of my Heart and The Dutchman, were performed and recorded live at Eddie’s Attic, a music venue in Decatur, GA. Eddie’s was a refuge of mine. A place I would go to hear some of the best acoustic music and hang with the best of friends. Prior to Eddie’s, these musicians, my friends and I gathered at Trackside Tavern. (Eddie managed Trackside before he opened his own place.) Great memories, and great additions to the soundtrack of life.

Have a listen:

 (Whole of the Moon, originally performed by The Waterboys)

 (The Dutchman, originally performed by Michael Peter Smith)

  (Weakness in me, originally performed by Joan Armatrading)

 (Piece Of My Heart, originally performed by Janis Joplin)

Andrea with her Mom, Dad, husband and kids, June 2010

My friend has reached her parent’s house by now. I hope to find out that she made it in time to have several good conversations with her Mom. And, when my friend finds herself overwhelmed with the road ahead, preferring to look through the rear-view mirror instead, I’ll try to help quiet her voices with a soundtrack of happy memories. I’ll probably start with one of Andrea’s favorite songs from the ‘old days’, Seal’s Crazy. It’s a perfect song for the soundtrack of life, because “we’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.”

My New Bed Partner

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

I’ve dreamed of this moment for years. While laying in bed, waiting for sleep to find me, I visualized myself surrounded in warmth. Thoughts of cuddling with my new partner, always put a smile on my face. Yet, with the rise of the morning sun, the smile would set on my face. Rob pushed back. Not ready to share his bed, he discouraged me taking on a new partner.

In an effort to win Rob’s approval, I would show him pictures of my harmless (yet fulfilling) partner. I assumed the simple look of my friend would ease Rob’s insecurities. I assured Rob that I would still need him, even with my new friend. And, I tried to explain to Rob that he might like sharing his bed. I mentioned several benefits Rob would gain by welcoming my friend in the bedroom. Alas, Rob was not convinced. Though my dreams continued, it seemed as though my friend and I would remain separated.

I’m not sure how it happened, and I’m not sure what changed his mind. But one afternoon, Rob came to me, perhaps realizing my fantasy was not diminishing but growing; with a look of caution and curiosity, he told me I could make my dream a reality. Excitement filled my heart, as I thought about my new bed partner. Immediately, I made arrangements to get my partner to the house, and I counted down the days . . .

Gone were the nights of turtle necks and wool socks. Gone were the nights of adding layer upon layer before bed vs. removing layer upon layer before bed. With my new partner, the desire to undress myself was reborn.

As I prepared to share my bed with my new friend, I slowly removed my socks. I slowly removed my other socks. I slowly removed my sweat pants. I slowly removed my leg warmers. I took a break and went to the bathroom. When I returned, I noticed my new partner was starting to get worked up and warmed up. I continued preparing for my partner by slowly removing my long underwear. I slowly removed my sweatshirt. I slowly removed my t-shirt. I slowly removed my turtleneck. I slowly removed my undershirt. And there I was, for the first time in years … standing before my new partner, barefooted and wearing nothing but a simple pair of pajamas.

I jumped into bed, wrapped myself in the warmth of my new partner and sighed. Thank you, Rob. I love my new electric blanket.

Another Flighty Friday

~ Lenore Diane ~ 2 Comments

.:: Detours and Doughnuts
Heading to my boss’s house one morning, I was surprised to find traffic backing up just passed our subdivision, because I assumed I left late enough to miss the school traffic. Like playing a game of follow the leader, I moved forward inch by inch, as the cars ahead of me did the same. Once I was able to see the intersection, I realized a police man had blocked a lane with his car, and he was forcing cars to either turn around or turn left. Detour.

To a city person, we live in a rural area. The roads around our house are mainly two lanes that meander through horse farms, with a scattering of agricultural farms, too. Once off the main thruway, direct routes are non-existent, and because I was unable to take the main thruway, my ride to work was going to be longer and less direct. I needed to phone a friend.

I called my husband, who is excellent with directions, and I asked him for help in getting me to my boss’s house. He let me know I was on the right path, and he gave me directions to get me where I was going.  After speaking with him, I called my boss to let her know I was going to be late.

Instead of the typical “Hello?” greeting, my boss (clearly using caller ID) answered the phone, “Are you calling to say you are bringing doughnuts?”
I laughed. “No, but I’d love a doughnut, and I’d be happy to stop and get some if you’d like me to.”
“Oh. Why are you calling, then?” She asked, clearly disappointed.

Once I explained the situation, she let me know she was very sad. And, she was quick to clarify why she was sad. She wasn’t sad because I was going to be late to work due to my circuitous route; instead, she was sad because my circuitous route would mean she’d have to wait longer for the doughnut. (I love the fact that I just got to use the word circuitous. Twice. My mom needs to read this post.)

.:: Now, a word (or 100) about the doughnuts …
Dutch Monkey Doughnuts is not your typical doughnut shop. Located in Cumming, GA, this self-proclaimed ‘Mom and Pop shop” is open Tuesdays – Fridays, 5:30am until 4:00pm and Saturdays and Sundays from 7:00am until 1:00pm. Their doughnuts are made from scratch and hand-rolled daily, and they recycle their frying oil into bio-diesel.

The Dutch Monkey offers the standard doughnuts like raised glazed, chocolate iced, Boston cream, apple fritter, etc. But, it is the daily specials and/or special ‘standards’ that make this Mom and Pop shop worth the drive (detour or no detour). If you prefer the simple iced, you may be lucky enough to find a raspberry iced for one of their daily specials. Or, perhaps you’ll find a blueberry jelly doughnut. The day of my detour, I found a buttered maple bacon doughnut. Buttered maple bacon. It was tasty, too.

My favorite is the Dutch Monkey doughnut. The first time I ordered one, I thought I was getting a Boston cream doughnut. At least, it looked like a traditional Boston cream doughnut: round, no middle hole and iced with chocolate. However, when I took a bite of the doughnut, I was surprised to taste an awesome combination of vanilla cream and banana. And, this was no ‘imitation’ banana – this was real, freshly ‘squished’ bananas. Mm mm good.

Now the second time I ordered the Dutch Monkey doughnut (and no, it was not the very same day), I was surprised to get something different. Though the doughnut was still round, hole-less and iced with chocolate, the cream center was more along the lines of a Boston cream doughnut. But wait! There’s more! Hidden under the chocolate icing, I found slices of bananas. Guys, the doughnut was divine. Divine.

The Dutch Monkey doughnut may not strike a ‘yum yum’ chord with you, but I am confident you’d find many other doughnuts within the day’s selection to color you happy. If you find yourself in or around Cumming, GA, I highly recommend a pit stop at Dutch Monkey Doughnuts. In fact, I’d recommend a detour to the doughnut shop. Thank god for detours, and thank god for Dutch Monkey Doughnuts. And while I’m at it, thank god for my boss!

.::.

My first true love was with Krispy Kreme,
A ‘Hot Doughnuts Now‘ lover’s dream.

It’s still the best glazed goodness for this doughnut junkie –
But competition rises with the entrance of Dutch Monkey.

.::.

.:: And now for something completely different . . .
Behold the power of the potty. Potty words. What is so darn attractive about using potty words? I mean, come on folks – poop stinks. Why talk about it? Yet kids seem to find it funny. Kids like our 5yr old, who is smack dab in the midst of his potty words stage. A harmless stage, perhaps, but a stage that could be a gateway to other disrespectful habits. Potty words spew out of this child’s mouth so much, it’s as if he has eaten a pile of prunes. Potty words: the gateway drug to regularity.

Happily, to date, our 5yr old has managed to make it 3 consecutive days without uttering one potty word. I suppose this means – wait for it – he is constipated.

.|.

Be kind, and take care of yourself and each other.