Mirror Mirror in the Bathroom

7yrs younger vs. 7yrs older

One Sunday afternoon, Rob and I were going to meet up with a group of people for a late lunch. Rob and I had time to kill, so we decided to have an ‘early’ lunch at a sports bar. When we walked into the sports bar, we were greeted with the familiar scent of wood, dampened with spilled beer. It probably comes as no shock, the bar was empty on this particular Sunday early afternoon. Based on the scent of stale beer and beer soaked wood, I suspect it was filled with countless patrons the prior night.

Many years ago, Rob and I frequented bars. We started reminiscing about the ‘good ol’days’ of our younger years. I told Rob how the smell of bars immediately caused me to flashback to the flirting days, dating days, etc. Fact is, I met Rob in a bar. He played on a poolplayer’s league, and I met him through two other guys on his team. I became a poolplayer groupie, so to speak. Anyway, one of the things I disliked about the bar scene, aside from the smoke, was the bathroom.

In bars, the woman’s restroom is often packed to the gills with gals primping and chatting. Admittedly, I was one of those primping and chatting gals, back in the day. And, I thought it was funny how the ‘older’ women would try to come across as much younger. Though this may sound harsh, I felt sorry for the older women, thinking to myself “Please. You are way too old to be bar hopping.”

Rob and I continued chatting and reminiscing, really enjoying our walk down memory lane. It came time for us to leave, and I decided to use to the bathroom before we left. As I walked into the bathroom, I was once again greeted with another familiar scent of the bar scene: wet toilet paper. In addition, I noticed this bathroom had the typical wet floors and dented stall doors. When I was done going to the bathroom, I went to the sink to wash my hands. [Proper hygiene is essential, don’t you know.] As I washed my hands, I glanced in the mirror and gasped out loud, literally.

“Oh my!” I laughed to myself. “Who is that old lady hanging out in the bar bathroom?” The reflection I saw in the mirror was similar to the older women I saw in my younger years. Truly, I was startled, humbled and humored. I had become the older women. Where did the time go? Inside, I felt I still looked 25 yrs old. No  matter. On this particular day, unlike my younger bar hopping days, I actually left the bar with the cutest guy in the place. And, don’t go pointing out that he may have been the only one in the place. Rob left with me; that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Oh, and please, save me a spot at the bathroom mirror, because this older gal needs way more primp time. Thanks.

Wondering and getting side tracked

This blog was written down on paper before coming to you via the world wide web. I wonder how many writers still take pen to paper vs. hitting the keyboard straightaway. I also wonder what makes a writer a good writer. And, I wonder what station is playing in the background of this coffee house. I have the power to address one of the wonders with accuracy, but the question becomes – will I ask for the information?

I love this coffee house. Each time I have been here, the same two guys have been working. One guy reminds me of [a younger] Brian Vander Ark, from The Verve Pipe. The other guy reminds me of a slightly older version of the guy from the sitcom The Middle, Axl, played by Charlie McDermott.

If I were younger (and single), I’d definitely be interested in chatting with them in an effort to get to know them better. As it is, I am content with the typical banter that flows with ordering a cup of coffee and a veggie & hummus sandwich. I also enjoy watching the one or two particular girls that seem to frequent this place, too. One of the usual ‘Janes’ is here tonight, sitting at the coffee bar counter. She’s enjoying the attention of both guys without having to share with the other girl.

As I eavesdrop, I flash back to the days when I lived in Rockville, MD. I stumbled upon a small restaurant/bar called, Hard Times Cafe. I don’t remember, for certain, who introduced the place to me, all I remember is the guys behind the bar had me at ‘hello’. I love the look of long hair on guys. Please. I am not talking Kid Rock kind of long hair, or Billy Ray Cyrus kind of hair. I am talking Daniel Day Lewis, ‘Last of the Mohicans’ hair. [Yes, I know it was probably hair extensions; still, a girl can dream, and dream this girl did.] Anyway, the bartenders/cooks at Hard Times Cafe had long hair and looks to match. Oh, and did I mention they were in a band? Color me happy, and color me a frequent Hard Times Cafe stalker, er, customer.

I went to Hard Times Cafe as often as possible, when I lived in the area. My girlfriend and I often stayed until they closed and hung out with the staff after hours. Aside: The Brian Vander Ark lookalike just asked “Jane” if she wanted to step outside with him. Newsflash: She said yes. Big shock.

While living in Rockville, I continued stalking, er hanging out with the crew from Hard Times. My friend and I even traveled to VA (Fairfax, I think) to hear the band play a few times. I have one of the tapes from RISE, perhaps their only tape. And, I had the band’s bumper sticker on the back of my car. By the way, that is the only bumper sticker I have ever had on the back of any of my cars. Ever.

Oh, if you are scratching your head with my tape reference – well, tapes were used to listen to music back in the 90s and earlier. I am guessing you’d be hard pressed to find tapes nowadays, let alone a cassette player for which to play the tape. The music I am listening to in this coffee house is streaming through Pandora. No cassette or cassette player required!

Back to my wondering what station was playing in this coffee house. I did ask the ‘Axl’ lookalike about the Pandora station. Clearly, I am super hip, because when he told me, I responded in question, “The Ships”? Thankfully, he didn’t laugh in my face, though I also knew he wasn’t going to be asking for my phone number. “No, ‘The Shins’,” he said. “Shins with an ‘n’,” he clarified.

Hello. My name is Lenore; I am in  my 40s, and it is apparent I am not up on today’s music, even when the band is 10yrs old. However, I’m hip enough to like today’s music, at least along the lines of The Shins and their current hits. At least, I think they have current hits. And, yes, I have added The Shins to my Pandora list of stations. Who knows, ‘Axl’ or ‘Brian’ may ask me to join them outside next time I hit the coffee house. Remember, a girl can dream.

Reality meeting Reality

First, I finished month-end billing. This matters to you, I know. And, because I have finished month end billing, I feel a weight has been lifted. Woo hoo! Just in time for the weekend. Second, I found the source of my fear and anxiety.

The Log Lodge Bunch and Grandpa Bob

See the picture? This is the Log Lodge Bunch in the Spring of 2007. See the cute kid in front with a green shirt and wearing glasses? Yeah, that kid. That’s my oldest son, Joe. Joe starts kindergarten in August this year. See the the dark haired girl holding a baby? Yeah, that baby is my kid, too. That’s Charlie, who is turning 4 in June. The only kids in the picture that are still part of the Log Lodge crew are Joe and Charlie. The others have moved on to ‘big kid’ school.

I can handle my boys getting older. Truly. I do not have a sense of fear or anxiety with the thought and realization that they are getting older. However, see the lady in the picture? That’s our daycare provider, Suzann. The thought that my boys are getting to the age where they will leave Suzann’s place is making me crazy with fear and anxiety. (I’ll write about Suzann soon. She is an incredible person.)

I have my feet on the ground. Yes, though my head can be found in the clouds frequently throughout the day, I believe I have a pretty good grip of reality. [Oh, keep quiet Peanut Gallery. Thanks.] And, I have been well aware of the fact that my boys will one day go to school. I guess what I failed to grasp was how our life would change drastically once they started school and are dictated by the school calendar.

This morning, the boys and I sat on the couch sipping our soy milk and coffee, while watching Curious George. (Straight black coffee for me, and straight soy milk for the boys.) When he is not working at home, Rob leaves for the office before the kids and I get out of bed. Charlie and I didn’t stumble out of our rooms until 7AM. Joe joined us on the couch around 7:15. And, we sat. We chatted about George and the man in the yellow hat, and we discussed the different ways a person can get dressed. For instance, Charlie likes to get fully undressed and sit a minute before moving forward with dressing. Once ready to get dressed, Charlie likes to put on his socks first, followed by underwear, pants and shirt. While Joe prefers taking one item of clothing off at a time, replacing it with a clean item. For example, he takes his shirt off, and he puts on a clean shirt, etc. We cover some serious issues in the morning.

I enjoy the fact that our weekday mornings move in a slow and casual pace, because where we have to go in the morning does not come with a time constraint. Yes, the boys were going to Suzann’s house; and yes, I needed to go to my boss’ house; but, there was no bell that was going to ring, indicating we were late. Sometimes we have to step up the slow pace due to appointments, but generally speaking – our weekday mornings are similar to weekend mornings: slow, comfortable and casual.

All of this is going to change come August 2010. Joe will have to get up earlier, eat breakfast and head to school before the bell rings. Charlie and I will no longer get to sit with Joe, casually enjoying the morning. We will no longer get to play impromptu games of Hi-Ho Cherry-O or Chutes and Ladders. (OK, so I won’t miss those impromptu games.) We will no longer be able to stumble out of bed at 7AM or 7:15AM. And, in another year, Charlie will be waking up earlier, eating breakfast and making sure he gets to school before the bell rings.

I am going to miss my quiet and casual time with the boys. And, because I work, I will miss the freedom and flexibility with my work hours. I’ve yet to sit and talk about it with my boss, but my availability with regards to work is going to be compromised. Like many working Moms before me, I will now have the responsibility of picking Joe up from school in the middle of my workday. And, come school holiday time, I will have to juggle having Joe home while meeting my paid-gig responsibilities. The short holidays won’t pose a huge problem, but I’m not sure how the whole “Summer break” is going to pan out for us.

Again, I know I am not the first Mom to come to this stage of reality, and I won’t be the last Mom that faces this stage of reality. I also know this is not a huge deal in the scheme of things. Yet, I am a little bummed and overcome with a bit of fear and anxiety for the pending reality. I quite enjoy my current reality, especially the indigo skies and sunflower lined roads. Oh wait. Sorry. I confused my reality with fantasy, or is it I confused my fantasy with reality? Anyway, as I was saying, I love the slow pace of mornings in my house. And, I am sad this reality is coming to an end. However, until my current reality meets my new reality, I will definitely milk the remaining 4 months I have left to sit and enjoy the casual morning time with the boys. [Oh, and I’ll enjoy the cups of coffee, too. Love me some fresh brewed coffee in the morning!]