I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. Due to shortness of breath and some chest pains, I wanted to get my heart checked. All looks good. No worries. Took a stress test and passed. (Not sure if that means that ‘yes, you do have stress’.)
The appointment experience was fantastic! I really had a nice time. Now, I did get off to a rough start because I had a hard time finding the office building. But, once I realize the ‘Lifetime Fitness-looking’ building was actually a medical office complete with a very large sign, I – well, I felt stupid. The building was so obvious I was oblivious. The clock on the sign-in desk was also so obvious that I proceeded to not see it and ask, “What time is it?” So. Not the best start. Continue reading “Waiting Rooms and Men in Hats”→
You know the saying, ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’ right? Well, please don’t judge this post by the title. You will not learn how to keep a schedule here. Keeping a schedule is not one of my areas of expertise, though I am a planner. This week I am going to be challenged with a full calendar, including three separate doctor appointments on three separate days.
I opened the junk drawer this morning to see if I could find something that might help me keep things together. Though I did find string, tape, nails and a hammer, I tend to think those items wouldn’t help with the job, housekeeping, child rearing and appointment keeping. I also found a shoot, develop & toss camera. Perhaps I should take pictures of me trying to keep a schedule.
I don’t mind being busy, but I mind not having downtime. Today is my downtime day, and I will milk it. Last night, the weather forecasters warned of a winter storm. I was concerned the boys would be home, my husband would be home and I would be catering to their every need, while also trying to do my daily unsung tasks. Happily, the forecasters were wrong. This morning, we woke to a gray day with no signs of freezing precipitation. Woo hoo! The kids went to day care, my husband went to work and I have the day to myself to do what I need to do at my own pace. Does that sound selfish? Yes, I believe it does sound selfish, and I reserve the right to be selfish whenever I find downtime.
Keeping a schedule to me means finding downtime. I do all I can to find time to myself. Whenever the kids are around, I find it virtually impossible to not be attentive to their every need. My weakness, this I know. Whenever my husband is around, I find it virtually impossible to not become overwhelmed with expectations. My weakness, this I know. I don’t believe I am alone with these weaknesses. I believe Moms across the world suffer from the same whatchamacallit. Keeping a schedule can offer help to the crazy, provided you find the downtime. Trying to keep a schedule with no downtime will only make one crazy. Just ask me.
Please don’t take this as complaining. I am not complaining. This is my life, and I have a good life. I am sitting here in a comfy chair, blogging on a laptop. We have food, clothing and shelter. I have two healthy boys, and I have a husband who is still my husband. As a bonus, I have two dogs sleeping soundly on their doggie bed and blanket, while a guest dog shares the space with them. I work from home, and I love my job. And, today, I have a wide open day to enjoy as downtime. I will get some laundry done today, and I will reserve my right to hold off vacuuming until Friday. Ah, the joy of being your own housekeeping boss.
All the above said, maintaining my composure this week will prove challenging. The appointments will be long, and rush hour traffic will be annoying. But, I will do all I can to keep the schedule and find the downtime. I will enjoy the laughter with the boys, and I will see what I can do to bring a smile to my husband’s face. In fact, I believe I have some markers and glitter pens in the junk drawer. Perhaps I’ll make some hand-crafted smiles and surprise my husband and boys throughout the week. Or maybe, I’ll make time to sit down with the boys and make glittery creations together. After all, the housekeeping is already on the schedule, no need to avoid messes, especially when I’m the boss.
I went to a funeral today, and I had a great time. My siblings had an exciting life, at least from my vantage point. I watched them from afar – always wanting to know what they were doing, who they were with, etc. To a certain extent, my siblings were a mystery to me, much like the teacher’s lounge in school. You knew the teacher’s lounge was the coolest place, but it was forbidden for students to enter, so it remained a mystery.
5yrs younger than my closest sister (I have four sisters and one brother), the gap in age was big enough that I rarely played in their reindeer games. Though the age gap hasn’t changed, growing older seems to bring the gap a bit closer together. So now, I can laugh with them as they reflect on the fun they had. I can pretend I was with them, without all the side effects.
So, the funeral was for a great man. He was well known in our neighborhood, in part, because he was a broadcast journalist. Though, I am certain, this man would have been well known in our neighborhood even if it didn’t work in front of the camera. In some regards, he reminded me of my Dad. He was tall, well built and formidable. Though, underneath his intimidating exterior, he was kind and loving. (And today I learned, he was an excellent pool player.)
This man reminded me of my Dad. He also reminded me of our other neighbor. And now, these three men, all larger than life, have died. It is the end of an era. No, we didn’t see the families often as the years passed. And, aside from one family, no one lives in the neighborhood anymore. Still, in less than five minutes of chatting, it was as if no time had passed.
The kids of these great men laughed about the days long passed. And, though I didn’t participate in many of the memories they shared, I was able to laugh with them. I finally moved up from the kid table to the adult table. And, they weren’t whispering or trying to hide things from me. It was fun. Did I mention the laughter? So much laughter.
When I die, I hope there is a fun filled memorial service that includes tons of loud laughter. If any of my siblings are still alive, the loud part is a certainty. No one in my family is quiet. I hate that we miss our memorial services. I would enjoy being surrounded by people who love me and hearing their fun and happy memories. (Hopefully, they would keep their gripes about me on the down low.)
Going back to the man we remembered today, he was a star to me. As a kid, I wanted to be a broadcast journalist. Actually, I wanted to be a broadcast meteorologist. Virgina Gunn was a local weather broadcaster, and I wanted to be Virginia Gunn. (I wanted to be Joan Embery, too. She worked at the San Diego Zoo. But, I digress…) I was star struck. Just across the street from my house lived what I believed to be a celebrity. I once watched him do a news story in front of his house. I loved it.
I also loved New Year’s Eve. My family was invited to this man’s house several times for their New Year’s Eve parties. I don’t know how many parties my parents attended, but I remember attending some as a kid. And, I remember the parents gathering in the kitchen and singing for hours. Literally hours. I loved listening to them singing. So many fantastic voices singing great oldies. In fact, during the memorial service today, I swear the lady singing the hymns behind me was someone who attended the New Year’s Eve parties of the past. Did I mention I loved their New Year’s Eve parties?
When a loved one dies, it sucks. Pardon my language, but I believe the term ‘suck’ is an appropriate term. The opportunity to gather with friends and family and recall fun times with the lost loved one makes the bitter pill easier to swallow. And, I find talking about the death of the loved helps ease the pain, too. Though I like to talk about the sadness, I have observed that some people prefer not to talk about it. Whether or not you like to talk about the death of a loved one, I hope you are able to laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to laugh that a person died. Silly. That would be rude. I do hope that you are able to remember some fun times that bring you to laughter.