The post that doesn’t end.

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

How many story ideas do you have that end up lost while you are stuck in a traffic jam, wiped dry from a thirsty towel after your shower, or garbled by the disposal while you are cleaning up the dirty dishes?

My ideas are fleeting, becoming fewer and farther in between. My greatest hope is to capture at least a snippet of the idea, holding it safe until time permits me to write a clear post with a clear beginning and a clear ending. This is not that post.

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

During a serious discussion with a friend, we became sad. In an effort to change the subject and lighten the mood, I shared a story with her.

Before I shared the story, I explained to my cat-loving friend that I like cats, too. I assured her I would not share this story with just anyone. Because she knew me, I felt it would be OK.

“Friend,” I said. “At my Dad’s funeral, my sister told me a great way to distract myself from the sadness was to think of dead cats.”

My friend gasped in shock. I looked at her and said, “Don’t worry. I’m not a hater; some of my best friends are cats.” With that statement, my friend guffawed.

How many times do we talk about various groups, types, etc. with a hint of judgment, while stumbling over our words by saying, “It’s OK. I’m not being ugly; some of my best friends are [insert group here].” For instance, I know one or two bloggers that babble. But it’s OK. I’m not being ugly. Some of my best friends are babblers. One might even call me a babbler, because …

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

Ice cream is my thing. I knew I loved it, but I didn’t realize giving it up for 40 days would drive me crazy. You see, I gave it up for Lent. I have no regrets for giving it up, and I suspect I’ll give up again next year. After all, the purpose of Lent is to remind Christians of the sacrifice Jesus made. (My so-called sacrifice seems trivial by comparison, eh?)

During the Lenten season, I bought my boys fresh made milkshakes, I scooped bowls of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream for them, and I sat at the dinner table to celebrate my husband’s birthday, while everyone, but me, enjoyed an ice cream pie. Though I was tempted by the frozen dairy delight many times, not one bit of ice creamy goodness touched my lips. Come Easter Sunday that will change.

Stay away from the ice cream, people. That pint and several more after that pint are mine. As soon as the 40 days have come to pass or this post comes to an end, and well …

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

We are in the midst of Spring Break, which means the boys are home from school for the week, which means the routine is on hiatus, which means the working from home job is challenged, which means writing is challenged, which means reading is challenged, which means quiet time is challenged, which means sleep is challenged, which means crankiness abounds.

We are in the midst of Spring Break, which means the boys are home from school for the week, which means outdoor play increases, which means sitting outside with friends is more frequent, which means laughter fills the air, which means smiles shine like the sun, which means the appetites increase, which means cookouts take place, which means the tent is setup for camping outside, which means adventures abound.

Amidst the crazed crankiness is pure happiness, provided you stop and let yourself feel it. Too bad for me, I cannot stop to feel the happiness. Maybe when I finish this post, I’ll let myself feel it. But again, too bad for me …

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

I introduced Rob to the game 20 Questions during our first road trip together. Quickly, I realized engineers are not the target audience for such a game. Rob has a hard time with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions, because he will over-think the question to the point that neither ‘yes’ nor ‘no’ are accurate answers.

Much to my chagrin, Joe and Charlie follow in their Dad’s 20 Question footsteps. While trying to play the game with my boys, Charlie asked if Joe’s mystery object moved, and Joe answered “No.” When the item was revealed, Charlie chimed in quickly, “Joe, if you put it on wheels, it will move. You lied. That’s cheating.”

I remember the days when the boys were younger. Here are a few conversations of their younger years:

Charlie: “Mommy, I can’t tell you what I caught until I put it in the container.” He says as he walks with his hand cupped and closed.
Me: “There’s a container on the table.”
Charlie, walks towards me looking inside his container: “Hey! My rolly-polly is still in here. I see him moving.”
Me: “Charlie, your inch worm is crawling out of your hand.”
Charlie: “Wow. He’s fast. Do rolly-pollies eat inch worms?”

::

Joe: “Mommy. Charlie and I are making compost for the worms we found. Can we have a banana? Oh, and I am hungry, too; so, can we have a banana?”

::

Conversation in the car, after picking up a pizza at Dominos:
Me: “Mmmmm…. doesn’t that pizza smell good?”
Joe: “Yes, it does.”
Charlie: “I can’t smell it, because I have too many boogers in my nose.”

::

While waiting to use the computer, Charlie asks, “Mommy?! How much longer? I have too many patience.”

::

Ah patience… Readers, please be patient with me, as I try to end the post that – well, you know.

This is the post that doesn’t end;
yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Once I started writing it, I knew not where I’d go,
and I’ll continue writing it hoping to find a flow.
This is the post that doesn’t end…

A Letter to the Blogosphere

Dear Blogosphere,

I apologize for my lack of presence lately. I’m feeling depressed, and I’m avoiding you.

Oh, sometimes I will pop by to visit a few writers here and there. I tend to stick with the short-worded writers, as I feel the panic grows inside me the longer I stay within your sphere.

My depression started when I was taking part in things outside my realm of normalcy. I changed up my writing schedule and style, and I wrote with the hope of ‘winning’ rather than for the joy of writing.

Then came the news about a shooting in Florida. I’m sure you know the shooting to which I am referring, George Zimmerman shooting Trayvon Martin on Sunday February 26, 2012.

Like many, I was appalled with the news as it trickled down the wire. Like many, I was inspired by the reaction of the community, coming together to take a stand in hopes of getting charges filed against Mr. Zimmerman.

As the days passed, I noticed the tone changing. The alleged hate that filled George’s heart causing him to kill Trayvon seemed to slowly seep into the hearts of others, as Twitter lit up with harsh words, harsh sentiments and what was thought to be the home address of George, himself.

Why would someone tweet the address of another? Why?

I don’t have an answer for that question. All I know is the address tweeted and retweeted to countless people was the address of a couple in their seventies, the McClains. The McClains had nothing to do with either Trayvon or George, yet the hatred and outrage of people, brought them into the mix and caused them to leave their home and check into a hotel out of fear.

According to Elaine McClain, reporters were showing up at their door and hate mail started filling their mailbox. Hate mail.

Hate mail sent to two innocent people, completely unrelated to either Trayvon or George.

Blogosphere, I can relate to anger, and I can relate to rage, because I have battled both emotions in my life. But I cannot relate to or understand why people would tweet someone’s address without permission. Aren’t the tweeters circulating the same kind of hatred they claim to be against?

Aren’t we all under the assumption that ‘hate’ started this whole thing in the first place? When will we stop the cycle of hate?

Blogosphere, I don’t know if this matters – actually, it probably doesn’t matter. But I still wonder if both parties involved were the same color or ethnic origin, would the same thing happen? Would the shooter’s address be tweeted and retweeted?

I believe the address was tweeted and retweeted with a malicious intent, and I believe anyone and everyone who retweeted it should be ashamed of getting caught up in a mob mentality rather than an informed and decisive community.

Recently, I made a comment on a post I read. I wrote:

Racism is a word that is thrown out and used by many, but I wonder if those that use it know the meaning – based on Merriam Webster: “Racism: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.” I don’t deny racism exists in some – I do not believe is still predominant in today’s society. I just don’t.

After making the comment and talking with others, I concede that racism is more prevalent than I cared to admit. I think racism is a result of violence. I think violence fuels fear, which fuels ignorance, which fuels racism. If we stop the violence, I believe racism will be a thing of the past. And yes, I have hope that racism will be a thing of the past.

Blogosphere, I admire the work Cease Fire Chicago is doing, along with the other Cease Fire organizations throughout the U.S. (though more are needed). Cease Fire was profiled in a documentary called The Interrupters. I wish everyone would take time to see the documentary and get to know the people behind Cease Fire.

Blogosphere, as long as we are yelling at one another and filling our hearts with hate, we lose. Period.

.|.

These things have been weighing heavily on my heart for weeks. I reached out to a friend, letting her know how I was feeling. This friend of mine is an atheist, and I am a Christian. I do not judge her for her beliefs, and she does not judge me for my beliefs.

My friend responded to me by saying, “Pray about this Lenore. You have faith. This can help you. Ask Him to get you through this rough time; to give you the skills to get past all this crap and horrid, horrid stuff going on in our country.”

Amen, friend. Thank you for reminding me what to do with my sadness. I wish everyone could find something to believe in that is bigger than him or herself. Hate is such a vicious beast, and it needs a higher power to beat it.

With hope, love and prayers for peace,

Lenore