Tag: Ice Cream

Doogie-whompers and Wee-honked

~ Lenore Diane ~ 3 Comments

Two of my very best friends made up words I will never forget: Doogie-whompers and Wee-honked. Though I can’t define the words in the traditional sense, I will tell you that ‘doogie-whompers’ is most commonly used as an interjection and ‘wee-honked’ is most commonly used as an adjective. Of course, I say ‘most commonly’ as if these words are widely used by everyone, when in reality the words are mainly by the three of us.

Today, I am thinking ‘doogie-whompers’ over and aver again, as I anxiously await for kindergarten registration to take place. As I type, I have one more hour until we head to registration. Ding dangity, I am nervous! Better yet, “Doogie-whompers! I am a nervous wreck!” And, my nerves are leaving me with a feeling of wee-honkedness. We-honked is the exact opposite of balanced. When we-honked, I am most vulnerable to my junk food cravings. Case in point – RIGHT NOW. I want to eat the pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer, but I don’t have enough time! What’s worse is the fact that I won’t have time to console myself with junk food today at all. ACK!

Today, I am actually having to experience the wee-honkedness in all its glory, without a handy numbing affect. I know I will make it through the day, but “Doogie-whompers! I want to submit to a crutch!” Plus, when feeling this we-honked, it allows one to become overwhelmed with other bits of anxieties. Oh, and add some PMS, and you’ve got a perfect storm brewing. Yes, life inside our house may be challenging tonight. I’ll be sure to do my breathing exercises and step away for a bit, if needed.

Happily, Rob liked the Montessori school we checked out today. [A double whammy kindergarten kind of day.] It was my second time taking the tour at this particular school. I loved it at first sight, and I am glad Rob loved it, too. Rob believes in Montessori and understands the value it offers. His biggest concern with starting Joe at Montessori is the financial commitment. He, like me, worries about our budget, making ends meet and the sacrifices it will bring. And, because of his uncertainty (and the uncertainty of Joe being accepted into a Montessori program), we are registering Joe for public school today. Um. Have I said “ACK” yet? ACK!

Twenty more minutes until we pick up Joe and register him for kindergarten. And, I realize there are bigger issues in the world – bigger fish in the sea – bigger battles being fought. However, my awareness of those realizations is not calming the butterflies in my stomach. Again, the wee-honkedness I am feeling and the PMS rising is an invitation to the many other anxieties I have. So, thank you very much, I’ve just added the above mentioned anxieties about the bigger battles being fought, bigger fish in the sea and the bigger issues in the world to my state of wee-honkedness. Doogie-whompers! I think I’m gonna need a bigger bowl.

The Myth of being Balanced

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

I confess, as I become stressed while embarking on the journey of putting my oldest in school and prepping for the financial sacrifices that are ahead of us, I just ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food. Seriously. In one sitting. Yes, I just finished eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Some folks exercise when they are stressed. Me? I make quick runs to the grocery store, sing Richard Marx songs and eat ice cream (among other items of the junk food family). Oh, and I cut my hair. I am so glad I am normal. Or – wait. Is it abnormal? Whatever.

Entering this new phase of the school years is yet another balancing act of life. Of course, In my opinion, balancing is an ‘act’. It is a literal act that plays out on one’s stage of life, complete with lights and cameras. Aside from balancing a ball on your nose or finding balance while walking a tightrope, ‘balance’, as it is referred to by multi-tasking Moms and Dads, does not exist. And, trying to find the mythical ‘balance’ only makes one feel more out of balance. (Oh. Eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream puts your body out of balance, too. Sorry, I digress. Again.)

My life is pretty sweet now. I find I have time to tackle the tasks that need to be tackled. Ironically (not), I seem to lack the motivation to tackle the tasks. Moreover, when I tackle the tasks with little to no scheduling conflicts, it is easy to buy into the myth of being balanced. However, throw in some real life consisting of last minute changes, impromptu doctor visits, spontaneous car mishaps and a case of the Chicken Pox, and it becomes clear that the thing called ‘balance’ is best used when talking about ball or circus tricks.

Next week, and the four to six weeks that follow, will surely solidify my belief that the term ‘balance’, when applied to multi-tasking Moms and Dads, is a myth. While working, making it to various appointments, keeping the house stocked and cleaned, I will be taking my boys to swimming lessons 5 days a week for the next four to six weeks, depending on how fast they learn. Their classes are 10 minutes long, starting at 11:10 a.m. and 11:20 a.m. Though the time at the pool will be short, relatively speaking, it will create a ripple effect each day, which will make the next several weeks increasingly challenging. A prep for the school year, perhaps?

The days and time I work at my boss’ house will be altered, with me working later than normal. My later hours will require my husband to alter his work schedule, ensuring the kids are picked up in time from daycare. And, because my days and hours will be altered, the time at home to tackle chores will be discombobulated. None of the above discombobulations (new word) are earth shattering, but the discombobulations will leave me feeling out of balance. I mean, hello?! Where on earth (or in a closet) will I find time to consume a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream? When will I have time to eat a bag of Pirate’s Booty chips? And, when will I have time to cut my hair out of stress?! Seriously, folks. Next week, the mythical beast called ‘Balance’ will be blown to smithereens. [With the assumption that ‘Balance’ is a girl, I insert ‘A Girl Like You‘ or ‘Behind the Wall of Sleep‘ by the Smithereens here.]

As I brace for the impact of next week, becoming more involved in this new phase of life, I wonder how my family and I will keep it together. How often are you suppose to change the bed sheets and bathroom towels? Is it OK to recycle your underwear, as the laundry becomes backlogged? How dark can the ring around the toilet bowl get before it is considered gross? And, I have to attempt to find balance? Really? Not going to happen. Searching for ‘balance’ only leads to frustration. In fact, I think finding the Loch Ness monster would prove to be an easier find than balance. I hear Scotland is quite lovely this time of year; however, I won’t try to fit that trip into my schedule. After all, we have money to save, tasks to tackle and junk food to crave.

P.S. I have another pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer: Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream. Look, it was on sale 2 for $5. I had to buy two. And yes, you’ll find me eating the entire pint in the closet tomorrow, after having just registered my son for Kindergarten.

Addictions come in all kinds of flavors

~ Lenore Diane ~ 3 Comments

Aside from a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance, Merriam-Webster defines addiction as the quality or state of being addicted. It frustrates me when words are defined as another form of the same word. That said, ‘addicted’ is described as one having devoted or surrendered to something habitually or obsessively. Continue reading “Addictions come in all kinds of flavors” →