Here I Moan Again

Dear Mother Nature,

You’re going to visit again soon, I can feel it. Moreover, my husband and kids are starting to feel it. Seems the wind has changed direction and grown gusty. And, unlike the wind that carries Mary Poppins, this wind is coming from the west. In fact, Admiral Boom has raised the storm signals, indicating heavy weather brewing.

Emotional about Joe ‘graduating’ from Suzann’s house and Charlie’s 4th birthday, this week is already a heap of haphazard hormones. And now, because you are coming for a visit, bloating, crabbiness and cravings of crap have started to encroach. Mother Nature, you are the perfect storm.

The Publix tagline, “Where shopping is a pleasure” is grating on my nerves more than ever this week. And, I saw a commercial for pads where the pad is compared to athletic wear.  ATHLETIC WEAR! To quote the commercial, “Only Stayfree Ultra-Thins have Thermo Control Designed with the comfort of athletic fabrics in mind. Stayfree Thermo Control quickly wicks moisture away, for exceptional dryness.”

Mother Nature, did you notice I provided a hyper-link to Stayfree’s product line in the previous paragraph? That link will allow you to see the stupid ad for yourself.

Ah yes, the week before the week you knock on my door, a time when friends are made and relationships improve. NOT!

And Mother Nature, don’t go trying to tell me about those women who no longer have you knocking on their door. I am in no mood to hear about how it could be worse or how other womanly hormonal experiences may be more annoying. You just hold off on that discussion for two weeks or so. Don’t look at me funny, either. I may just burst into tears.


P.S. I should mention, one benefit to your visit, Mother Nature, is the fact that frustration hits quickly and can lead to instant results. I just loaded up two boxes of stuff to take to Goodwill, because I was tired of looking at all of it. I haven’t a clue what I threw in the boxes, out of frustration; hopefully, I won’t go looking for any of it in the next two weeks. Hmm . . . where’s my laptop? Uh-oh.


I am trimming my hair again today. The fact that I am once again trimming my hair is not an indication of happy and relaxing times. And, the trimming is becoming increasingly more noticeable. I’m feeling anxious. I’m missing my routine life, even the part where I complain about my regular routine. Since returning from my awesome weekend away with Rob, my routine has been out of whack. Such is the price of vacation, I suppose.

Prepping for Easter celebrations, birthday parties, being sick, PMS, catering to sick kids and being a single parent while Rob is out of town are just a few of the interruptions of my routine. I’m also dealing with the typical large work load that occurs at the end/start of every month. In my head, I picture myself huddled in a ball and rocking back and forth. The worst part? I’m so out of whack I have no desire to eat junk food. What?! The food addict doesn’t want to eat junk? Dang. This is serious. [Though I have lost five pounds in the past couple of weeks.]

Next week doesn’t look much like a routine week, either. Rob will be out of pocket for three nights, traveling and going to meetings. I am hoping for some serious alone time this weekend. I’d love to have time to catch up on household chores and sit in silence when done with the chores, perhaps reading a book or two. The one glitch  may be my mother-in-law’s birthday. I was thinking of baking another pound cake for the birthday gal, in hopes it would excuse me from going to my in-laws’ house to celebrate her birthday. Though it may not help me win points with the mother-in-law, I think my father-in-law would be pleased. He enjoyed many slices of the pound cake I made for Easter.

Today, I have managed to do a whole bunch of absolutely nothing. Well, I did some laundry, changed around my blog appearance, wandered around the house in a daze, got the mail and let the dogs in and out – and in and out – and in and out. But, other than that, I’ve done nothing. You see, I should be working. I should be completing tasks for my paid job. I really do have invoices to create and prep for my boss on Monday. But, I am freaking. I am anxious. Can’t put my finger on why I am freaking and anxious. I am just freaking and anxious. Perhaps extreme amounts of pollen have gotten into my brain and is causing delirium. Perhaps I’ve blown my nose too hard and too often these past 5 days. Hmm, as I twirl my hair with my finger, I’m noticing another uneven spot. I better go get the scissors.

They have a pill for that

First, I am sitting at my local coffee joint, where they offer free WiFi and coffee served at a drinkable temperature. I absolutely love the fact that I can order a cup of coffee here and take a sip immediately, without scalding my mouth. Clearly, I am not sitting at a Starbucks. And, you will not find any ‘caution: contains hot liquid’ in this joint. Scalding is not the passion of this coffee house; instead, this place has a passion for providing wonderful coffee at the perfect temperature.

Ok. There is no second, so I should not have said ‘first’. Oh well.

I am certain there is a pill available to cure what ails me. This weekend I am battling all the symptoms that come with PMS. The worst symptoms of PMS for me are an increased lack of patience and anger/rage. Earlier today, I yelled at my husband for no good reason. Sure, I had several reasons at the time of my unleashing, but the sane side of me (which still exists amidst the crazy) knew my husband had done nothing wrong. In fact, the monologue of rage was completed, when I closed my eyes and came back to reality, calming stating what was real.

When not in the throws of PMS, I have come to accept my husband completely. This acceptance did not come easy, and it has only come recently. I no longer have major expectations of my husband. I accept the fact that he and I are different in many ways, and I see the value in our differences. (God knows, I could not handle him if he were crazy like me.) Perhaps more importantly, I accept my role in life. I accept how I respond to things, how I see things and how I have the ability to change my responses and perceptions.

I know my role in this life is to be the [main] disciplinarian in the house, to be the book and house keeper, to be the decision and appointment maker/keeper, etc. And, I know my controlling tendencies makes me a perfect candidate for the aforementioned roles. Also, I know that if any of these roles were to disappear, I would be lost. Yes, I would eventually find myself again, but I would miss the role I had played. I think I am good at my role. No. Scratch that, I think I am damn good at  my role. The best? Perhaps not the best; then again, for my life, I am the best.

One of  my biggest challenges right now is the affects of PMS. This is something that will occur every 28 days (or so) for the next 5 – 10 years. What’s worse, I hear the affects of menopause could be equally as challenging as PMS. And, as I said earlier, I am sure there is a pill I could take to ease the affects of PMS, but I’d prefer to find a pill-free way to cope. I’d like to find a medication-free way to deal with the crazy and keep my family from seeing the crazy.

I’ve had one friend suggest an IUD to help balance the moodiness. I’ve also had a friend recommend Yaz. I appreciate their advice. But, I am already living with the side effects of taking sertraline (Zoloft), which includes weight gain, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, etc. I’d rather not put more meds in my body and start battling more side effects. Plus, I do believe changing the natural chemistry of the body increases the chances of things like cancer, diabetes, etc.

I’m no Natural Nancy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Natural Nancy (or Natural Nate, for that matter). Still, I prefer to keep my chemistry and hormone levels at its natural state. If I find I a become stricken with Cancer, rest assured I will sign up for whatever treatment is available to me. Until then, the human body is a miracle in and of itself. It throws all of us curves every now and again. When left to its own devices, though, the body heals itself.

So. Where does that leave me today? While I am overcome with a lack of patience and crazy frustrated with the slightest glitch in the day, what can I do to muster through it, keeping my relationships in tact? Suggestions? I’d love to hear what you suggest. I can tell you, coming to this local coffee joint is doing me good. The music in the background, the coffee and veggie and hummus sandwich are all good. I am guessing getting out by myself is a great way to control the crazy. I asked my husband yesterday, if he wanted me out of the house. Though I believe part of my husband wanted me gone, he told me he wanted me to stay. And, we made it through the day. We even took the boys to a park and spent some great time outdoors. Sure, even while enjoying the beautiful outdoors, I had moments of crazy crankiness, but we all lived, happily even.

Tomorrow is Monday. My husband and I will go off to work, and our boys will go to their day care provider. We’ll find time to ourselves, as we take part in the routine of the work week. I find solace in the routine of our work week. Perhaps by the end of the work week, this month’s PMS battle will be completed, with little to no casualties. In the meantime, please excuse me. I just received a refill of freshly made decaf coffee, and I’d like to sip, surf and enjoy. Good day.