Tag: friends

A Testimony of Faith from 2022

~ Lenore Diane ~ 2 Comments

What follows is something I wrote and posted on Facebook on January 4, 2022. I was not actively blogging at the time, and I made the comment that, due to the length, what I was sharing was more like a blog post. Since today is the second anniversary of that post and I am actively blogging, I thought I would finally share it where it belongs, within the blogosphere. Please note, it is a religious post. If religion is not your thing, this may not be the post for you.

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January 4, 2022

I am a person of faith. I understand and respect the fact that religion isn’t for everyone. I am not comfortable “witnessing” to people, so unless I know you are religious, I generally keep my religious views out of the conversation. Still, I find strength in my faith. Does it ever waiver? Sure. Some days the strength is stronger than other days, but the faith remains.

During these past several months of job hunting, I relied greatly on my faith. It was 100% my faith (and friends) that kept me moving forward. And because I know in my heart that my faith was the strongest it has ever been, I feel called to share my testimony.

I started looking for a job in September 2022, but I started fully focusing on it in October. I sent out at least 10 resumes a week. I spent my Mondays and Tuesdays searching and sending – leaving Wednesday thru Friday waiting for responses. I prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

I applied for many jobs, most of which were ones where I was overqualified. Having been out of the corporate world for 3+ years, my confidence was low. I aimed low, knowing that I would “wow” them when hired. [Though midway through, thanks to my Facebook friends like Charles and Jennifer, I aimed higher, because it was the interviewer that would determine my qualifications for any job. Why should I limit the casting of the net on my perceived limitations?] I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

Just like I foolishly believe I will win whatever contest, sweepstakes, or raffle I enter (“foolishly” because it never happens), I foolishly believed that every interview process would end with a job offer and that I would quickly and easily find a job. I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

Over the course of 3+ months, at least 100 job applications, and only four interviews (which I made all the way until the end of the process only to be told that they would not be moving forward with me), I was still without a job. Furthermore, I had already closed my dog sitting business, no longer booking jobs for 2022. It was December, and I was coming to the unexpected realization that I was going to start 2023 without an income. I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

On December 13th, I received a message from someone via my LinkedIn account. The person said “I found your info on LinkedIn and thought you might be interested in our Sr. Program Coordinator role. Pls let me know!” I figured it was a recruiter spamming me, so I didn’t click on the link included in the email. That said, I was curious enough to go to the company’s career page to see if such a job existed. It did, and I read the job description. I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

I wasn’t qualified for the job. I didn’t understand what it was about my LinkedIn account that made this person feel that I was qualified. But. I was curious. (And I remembered what Charles and Jennifer said.) I decided I would reply to the person, and if nothing else – I would confirm it was spam. My reply included the following: “With regards to my past experience, what do you see that makes you think I am a good fit for this position? As I read through it, I am wondering if I am truly qualified for the position. That said, I welcome the chance and challenge, and I am interested in learning more about it.” I figured I would be blunt and transparent, presumably calling this person’s bluff. I even called my friend Carol to talk to her about it. I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

The person replied and told me what qualities/skills/experience stood out, and this person encouraged me to apply and see what happens. So, I did. I still prayed daily, fully believing that all things would work out because God was with me.

On December 23rd, after 3 interviews and two 40-question skill assessment tests, this person called me with a job offer. She told me she wanted to let me know before the holidays, so I could enjoy the holidays a little more relaxed. (They were “closed” Dec 23rd – Jan 3rd.) I immediately prayed, thanking God for this opportunity. And today, January 4, 2022, I received and signed the offer letter. I start my new job with Emory University’s School of Medicine on January 12th. Once again, I prayed to God, giving thanks for this opportunity. And, I still pray daily, fully believing that all things will work out because God is with me.

This journey has not been fun or easy, and the anxiety and stress was debilitating at times. Though I am currently not taking medication, I battle depression. I reached out to my doctor and got my prescription filled, because I wanted to be prepared. Through my faith and prayer, I made it through without medication and without spending days in bed. I always managed to get myself up – if only to apply for jobs. (And there were days when I got out of bed just to look and apply, and then I would get back in bed.) When interviews were scheduled – I was “up” and happily functioning; but, when interviews weren’t on the calendar, it was my faith in God that helped me put one foot in front of the other.

And you see what happened, right? I applied for at least 100 jobs. But this job? The job I was offered … it came to me. 

I believe 100% that this was a God-given opportunity. Especially because this job is my dream job. I’m not settling for this job – I’m rising up and meeting it. This job has me doing everything I want to do and nothing I don’t want to do. This job is taking me back “home” to an environment similar to the 10yrs spent working at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

I have always regretted leaving CDC. Always. And I wanted to find a way back. But the job titles and job descriptions for what I did and what I wanted to do are funky. So, I aimed low, sold myself short, and searched for traditional titles that made up my post-CDC job career. But I prayed, too. And, I held tightly to faith. And God knew better. And God provided better.

I didn’t find this job – this job found me. And this job is taking me back home to my roots. This is my testimony; thanks be to God.

Epilogue
Two years later, I am still very happily employed with Emory University. My job can be intense and stressful, but I am part of an incredible and supportive team. My bosses are the best. Truly. It is the best job I have ever had. I know I am where I should be, and I genuinely look forward to each and every workday. I have many friends who, when talking about God, will say, “Won’t he do it?!” And well, I am here to tell you, “He done did it!” Amen.

Stepping into New Year Resolutions

~ Lenore Diane ~ 2 Comments

I am not one for resolutions. I enjoy goals. I enjoy challenges. And, I like deadlines, because I like targets. But resolutions? Too much of a commitment. I feel anxiety growing at the mere thought of resolutions, due to the pressure I put on myself to keep to it.

As January 1, 2024 approaches, my social media is becoming increasingly filled with self-help posts related to resolutions. Admittedly, many have caught my eye, and I’ve contemplated making various new year resolutions. But as quickly as I contemplate, my anxiety grows, and my mind proceeds to fast-forward to every day in 2024 – the challenges in keeping said resolutions, the fear of failing, the aggravation of commitment, etc.

Sound familiar? I’m really asking. Does that sound familiar to you? Or, is it just me?

Looking back on 2023, I’m pretty OK with things. Which is good, because at this point – the past is the past.

There were some pretty scary moments for me. I was not always well. But I am still here, along with my husband, two kids, two dogs, and two cats. That’s pretty sweet. I know some that cannot say the same.

One big ‘win’ for me in 2023 actually started in June 2022. I started working out pretty regularly at a small Pilates/barre/yoga studio. I found the studio through a Facebook group, and through the classes I’ve attended and the people I’ve met in those classes – I’ve grown in many ways. Again, I’ve had setbacks, but I’m still here. While my family and close friends help to keep me here, the small community I found at Breathe challenges me to really stay focused on my own self-care. It’s really important one’s oxygen masks is securely on one’s self before they attempt to be present to or for anyone else. And, one could say that Breathe is my oxygen mask.

So, what does the above have to do with resolutions? Well, I think I am ready to make one. Actually, I think I am ready to make several.

Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones. Have you seen it? It’s a documentary on Netflix. Author Dan Buettner spent 20 years traveling to unique communities where people live extraordinary long and vibrant lives, while really just living their own normal life. Commonalities were found in the Blue Zones, including types of food eaten and an active lifestyle. In addition to those commonalities, they mentioned “Moai” and “ikigai”, which are my resolutions – not for 2024, but for my life going forward.

According to the website, Moai is a group of lifelong friends, and a social support group that forms in order to provide varying support from social, financial, health, or spiritual interests. I am thankful to have some lifelong friends, and I am grateful for all of them. But most of my lifelong friends are not close to home. I want to find a close group of friends that are close to me in proximity. I want to meet up with friends on a regular basis – small groups, coffee chats, workouts, walks, etc. My resolution is to work to make that happen.

Ikigai, according to the website, is an Okinawan word that means ‘a sense of purpose’.  To me, one’s purpose could be closely related to something for which they are passionate. And for me, that is writing. This blog started so many years ago, and I was very active with it. But, as my toddlers grew into school-aged kids, I didn’t have the time or mental bandwidth to write as much as I wanted. Now, my school-age kids are college-age kids, with one in the midst of his first year at university and the other starting his first year in August 2024. With this new season, I can feel my bandwidth starting to increase. I do say that with some trepidation. My full-time paid gig is pretty demanding. I work long hours, and I am not sure how I will manage my time to make time to feed my passion. That is what I have to do, though. I need to make it a priority to make time to feed my passion. This is a rewarding passion for me, whether there are readers or not. I feel really good right now, as I type this out. I miss this feeling. My resolution is to feed my writing passion.

That’s it. I have resolutions for 2024, and I am looking forward to the challenge. I am looking forward to the new season. Will there be anxiety? Sure. But I’ve managed it in the past. Will I definitely find my Moai? Maybe not. Will my ikigai stay lit? Who knows. These are two awesome resolutions that would benefit me in so many ways. For now, the thought of all the light that could come into my life if I find even a small fragment of success is all I need to get me started. And starting is the most important step.

See you in 2024!

A Bit of Release Before Dramatically Letting Go

~ Lenore Diane ~ 4 Comments

My Mom is in the hospital. She was admitted to the hospital on Monday of this week with what turned out to be 3 broken/fractured vertebrae and an urinary tract infection. Having worked with physical therapists within the hospital, walked with assistance and support of a back brace, and her infection under control, my Mom was set to be released today and moved to a rehab facility for a “short stay”. Unfortunately, this morning we found out she had an increased heart rate, and they canceled the plans of moving her to the rehab facility today.

I share the above to give you an idea of my current mood. To be clearer, some of the emotions I am feeling include anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, sadness, and tiredness. And though my Mom’s current situation may be the catalyst for this post, my Mom’s current situation only added an intensity to the emotions I listed. I was feeling those emotions before my Mom was admitted to the hospital.

Generally speaking, I am an active Facebook user. I have a Facebook page that I manage for my pet sitting business, where I post pictures of my dog and cat clients (sometimes reptiles and amphibians clients, too). And, with regards to my personal Facebook page, I enjoy checking in with family, friends, and a few acquaintances, seeing what folks are posting, and sharing my own thoughts, pictures, etc.. For the past year, many of my posts have been about racism, because I am very passionate about the Black Lives Matter movement, and I am actively working to live an anti-racist life. However, for the past week or so, I’ve not checked in with others via Facebook, and I’ve not posted pictures, thoughts, and/or articles.

For the record, I’m not a Trump fan. I didn’t vote for him when he ran and won, and I hope he never returns to hold a political office. In my opinion, in all the years that I have used social media, it was the worst place to be last year, and I believe the negativity was fueled by Trump and his supporters. I unfriended many friends and family members, because I was tired of the conflicts and what I perceived as hate speech. While I was unfriending them via Facebook, I didn’t consider it an end to all of these friendships, because many of these friendships were created before Facebook existed. That said, if I didn’t feel a need to reach out and connect with them in real life, and they didn’t feel a need to reach out and connect with me in real life, was it really a friendship?

There was a cartoon popular a few years ago showing a picture of a funeral home, with just a few people attending a funeral. The caption on the cartoon was something along the lines of, “I was expecting a larger turnout, because she had over 2,000 Facebook friends.” I’m a person that takes friendships seriously, and I’m not saying I am alone in that regard. But as I unfriended many Facebook friends, I was slowly coming to the realization that what I really wanted wasn’t Facebook friends but friends in real life. That’s sad, eh? Because before social media, we had friends in real life. Right?

For the past few days, when things with my Mom seem to be improving, I found myself once again scrolling through my personal Facebook feed just about every day. I didn’t post anything, and I “liked” or “loved” very little. This morning, while I scrolled, I grew increasingly frustrated with the division that continues to exist within my feed and my world of Facebook friends: Dr. Seuss. Masks. Biden. Trump. Cancel culture. Rights. Freedom. Claims one “is not racist because”. Questions of whether or not “cancel culture” is uniting or dividing. I find it all so sad. And when one is already sad, it doesn’t make sense to surround one’s self with more sadness. Plus, it pisses the hell out of me that the majority of the people complaining about a cancel culture are white. (It doesn’t surprise me; it makes me mad.) Plus, plus – having *not* engaged in the dialogue, the urge to engage has diminished. (I consider that diminish a blessing.)

I don’t know that my desire to become active again on Facebook will return. I will continue to update my business page, and when I write something for my blog – like today – I will share it on my personal page. But other than that? I’m out. No more “likes”. No more “loves”. No more engaging in posts. I think it’s time I get back to my writing, which is a better way for me to express and share my passions without getting bogged down by the distractions that fill one’s Facebook feed. And, I want to get back to more meaningful discussions with the people I interact with outside of Facebook. If you happen to be reading this and you are one of my Facebook friends, then the following message is for you.

If you need me – I’m here. If you want to talk – I’m here. Email me. Call me. Text me. Not sure how to reach me but we’re friends? Then I am sure you can find a way to reach me. If we have a friendship, then I’m not ending the friendship; if we don’t have a friendship, then I am no longer pretending to be friends. I’m tired of seeing my ‘friends’ in a light that breaks my heart. Truth is – my own personal life can break my heart, and that’s all I can handle right now. If you need me, you can still find me – just not on Facebook.

Do you find all of this a little too dramatic? Yeah. I can see it. But, I like to write. I like to express my thoughts. And this is my blog, so it’s the perfect spot to write and express my thoughts, dramatically or not.

Black lives Matter.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Peace.