I believe my first post within the past 7 days should be made to you, my most intimate keeper of my most not-so-secret thoughts.
Blogary, I returned late yesterday from a family trip to Coppell, TX. We visited my sister and her family, celebrating the high school graduation of her youngest son, as well as the college graduation of her oldest daughter. Fun was had by all.
Today, as I step into my first day back to work after vacation, I find I am drinking from the fire hose. Though I typically long to find distractions and diversions of the edible nature during ‘rushed’ times like these, I am actually enjoying the gushing work load and deadlines. [Blogary, please note, I am still finding ways to procrastinate and avoid the tasks at hand, but I am doing so without the help of food.]
We drove from Woodstock, GA to Coppell, TX in a rented mini-van, with my Mum as our guest passenger. We made the drive in two days, stopping in Minden, LA going to Texas, and stopping in Tuscaloosa, AL coming back from Texas. The drive was uneventful, which is a wonderful thing. Plus, I am thrilled to say the boys were fantastic in the car. And Blogary, as an added bonus, my Mum was fantastic in the car, too!
Some of my siblings also made the journey from Georgia to Texas, though they chose to travel by plane. [Whimps] Overall, our family trip could not have been better. The journey to and fro was easy and enjoyable. And, the time spent with family and friends was fantastically fun and enormously enjoyable.
Joe, Carson and Charlie. Note the black cups containing bugs.
Blogary, if you asked Joseph, our 5 yr old, I am fairly certain he’d say his favorite part of the trip was finding bugs in Texas. Please keep that in mind, as I review my trip with you.
We headed out West in a Chrysler not a Lexus.
“Mommy, do they have clover flowers in Texas?”
We stopped in Minden, LA for the night.
“Mommy, do these little black bugs bite?”
We arrived at my sister’s house Friday afternoon.
“Look, Mommy! I found a caterpillar cocoon!”
The boys spent many hours swimming in the pool.
“Mommy, I think the best bugs can be found at that school.”
Family and friends gathered enjoying food, laughter and hugs.
“Mommy, do you think Jack will help me look for more bugs?”
At night we lingered, holding off our good-byes.
“Mommy, can we stay longer and catch fireflies?”
Bribing for camera shots, oh how we did wheedle.
“Hey Mommy, come see this HUGE big, black beetle!”
The Family that Gathers Together ... (This is just a sampling of my family. Some folks could not make it to Texas.)
Come Monday it was time to travel eastward by car.
“Mommy, can I take these bugs home in a jar?”
We stopped in Tuscaloosa, and there we did sleep.
“Oh Mommy, did you see that cricket just leap?”
Tuesday afternoon we made it back home with glee.
“Mommy, I’m going outside to try and catch a bee.”
Blogary, though I had a great time with family and friends, I also had a blast watching Joe’s never ending quest for finding bugs.
Saturday morning, we loaded up the boys and headed to an awesome music venue in Decatur, GA. Late last year, The Verve Pipe released a family album, and the band is promoting the album by doing live shows for kids. I am a fan of The Verve Pipe (TVP) and Brian Vander Ark (BVA), and I was given the family album as a Christmas present.
When I heard the band was going to do a show at Eddie’s Attic for the kids, I snagged four tickets immediately. I admit, I hadn’t actively listened to the CD with my kids. Nor, did I ask the kids if they were interested in going to hear the band. In fact, when I told the boys we were going to hear live music, Joe, my oldest, was not too thrilled with the idea. He asked if he could stay home with Daddy. Little did he know, his Dad was also a fan of TVP and BVA.
I decided to spend a few days playing the CD in the car – frequently. Instantly, the boys took to the first two songs, though Joe was not too keen about the third song; he asked, “Can we just stay for the first two songs?”
While at a red light, I handed Joe the CD holder. My brother and sister-in-law had gone to a BVA show, and purchased the family CD for me. They asked BVA to sign the CD for my kids. So, as any manipulative parent would do, I showed Joe (and Charlie) where Brian wrote their names on the CD holder. “Have I met Brian?” Joe asked. I could tell the manipulation worked, as I watched a smile come across his face when he asked the question.
Over the course of a week, we listened to the CD in the car. If Joe was in the car, he would ask me to turn off the CD after the first two songs. And, he insisted he didn’t like it much, hoping to leave after the first two songs. Charlie, on the other hand, loved the CD. And, when he was the only one in the car with me, we listened to it over and over again. Then came the day of the show . . .
Pre-show Snack. Notice Charlie eyeing the freshly tapped Guinness.
As we left the house, Joe was still playing hard to get. You could tell from his smile, he was having a good time ‘fretting’ over the concert, still he wasn’t backing down from his ‘stay for only two songs’ request. And, when we entered the venue, Joe wasn’t impressed with the scenery. Again, tapping into my manipulative talents, I asked the waitress for some chips. [The boys rarely eat ‘junk’ food at home. Letting them have chips was my ace in the hole.] Oh, I also asked the waitress for a Guinness. This manipulative Mamma ain’t gonna pass up an opportunity to enjoy a freshly tapped Guinness, thank you very much.
Sitting at the ‘bar’ table and eating chips, the boys began to get more and more excited about seeing the band. I noticed BVA from across the room, and I pointed him out to Joe. “That’s the lead singer, Joe. He’s the one that signed your CD and came to play at Mommy & Daddy’s house.” Joe smiled. I smiled. This was going to be great.
Rob's chin, Joe, Charlie and me. Picture taken by BVA
While waiting for the show, Brian came close to where we were sitting; so, I said hello and introduced him to the boys. Brian told Joe about how he played at our house. It was neat. Brian also asked if he could snap a picture of us. “Of course!” We said.
Shortly after getting our picture taken, the guys hit the stage and started to jam. And, just like the CD, they started out with their song “Wake up!”. Joe settled in to listen, dance and enjoy, as did Rob, Charlie and I. For the record, Joe did ask – at one point – how many more songs he had to hear, but he was in no true hurry to leave. He had a fantastic time.
Some of TVP (Craig, Brian and John) with Rob, Charlie and Joe
After TVP did an encore of The Monkees “I’m a believer” [an awesomely done cover], the show ended. Joe and Charlie were bouncing around, singing various lyrics from various songs they had just heard. Rob and I looked at each other, and we agreed it was one of the best shows we had seen. How great it was to hear really good adult rock and roll, spun for kids’ ears. I wish more rock bands followed the lead of bands like TVP. Many parents want to expose their kids to music; but – are The Wiggles music? Really?
Parents – if you have kids – you must buy The Verve Pipe’s Family Album. Nope. Scratch that. If you like The Verve Pipe, you must buy the family album – no kids kids necessary to enjoy this music. Our kids sang the songs from the CD the ENTIRE drive home. [Note: the drive to (and from) Eddie’s Attic in Decatur, GA to our house is about an hour.] And, we continue to listen and rock out to this music. “Be Part of the Band” (track 4 on the TVP Family Album) is one of the boys’ favorite. (Yes, Joe is over his ‘two song’ limit phase.) I hope this song, among others, inspires the boys to pick a favorite instrument and do the best they can. Give it a listen:
Brian, Rob, Charlie, Joe and me
If any rock stars are reading this blog (because I know I have many rock star followers), please consider making a kids’ album. Put out some music that parents can rock to with their kids. No offense to The Wiggles, Barney and Baby Einstein, but we want to rock! And to Brian Vander Ark and the rest of The Verve Pipe, thank you so much for taking the time to write and sing to ‘the little people’. We salute you! Rock on! (Please.)
Dear, dear Blogary. I’m warning you, I am feeling very sentimental today. I just told Rob that I was having a hard time today, and before I could get out why I was having a hard time – I started crying. Sobbing, actually. These emotions have come over me unexpectedly.
Why the sudden emotions? My dad. Today is May 13, 2010. Today is my Dad’s birthday. And, today my Dad would be 82yrs old . . . if he were still alive. My Dad died in February 1994, over 16yrs ago!
In our dorm room with my best friend (right) and my niece, Shannon (car seat). November 1987
So, is that it? Is that why I am feeling sentimental? Nope. This Saturday, May 15th, my oldest niece (and my Dad’s first grand-daughter) is graduating from college. She was born the year I started college, and now she is finishing college. My Dad was around when she started, and it brings tears to my eyes to think he is not physically around to see her graduate. At the same time, I can’t stop myself from grinning, as I look at the picture of Shannon, as a baby, which was taken during first quarter of my Freshman year.
Ok. I just checked my cycle calendar, [What. You don’t have a cycle calendar? It’s like a pass to be cranky. *kidding*] and based on the cycle calendar, the emotions I am having are not being triggered by hormones. Dang. So much for using hormones as an excuse to buy some Ben & Jerry’s later. Wait. I can be an emotional eater, too! I digress . . .
My Dad was raised just outside of Boston, MA. His accent was thick, though having lived in the South for over 20yrs, it may have lessened a bit. He always answered the phone saying, “Yell’ow?”; and, he had a way with saying my niece’s name, Shannon. He rarely said “Shannon”. Instead, my Dad would say, “Sha’nnn’onnn Elizabeth” in his thick accent and deep voice. As I type, I can hear his voice in my head.
So much has happened over the past 16yrs, including my marriage and the birth of my two boys, one of whom is named after my Dad. As Shannon gets ready to graduate, days after my Dad’s birthday, it doesn’t surprise me that I am overcome with sentiment. This is a special time in her life. But, being that she is the first grandchild in our family, it makes it all the more sentimental for us – her family.
My Dad, Summer 1993
My Dad would be 82 today. 82. That is no spring chicken. I haven’t a clue what he would look like now. His younger sister is still alive, thank goodness. I suppose I could look at her and get an idea of what my Dad would look like today. Honestly, he looked older than his natural age, in part because he smoked. So, he would probably look old. The picture, to the left, was one of the last pictures taken of my Dad. It was taken before the age of digital cameras, so the quality is lost a bit with the scanning. I believe the picture was taken the Summer (1993) before he died. Crazy.
If you’ve lost a loved one, you know the sense of ‘loss’ never dies. And, you know the pain eventually subsides. Though in the midst of the death, it seems the pain will go on forever. If you haven’t lost a loved one, you don’t get it. And, I am not trying to be disrespectful. You just don’t get it. I didn’t get it either. My friend’s brother died, and until my Dad died – I didn’t understand her grief. But, that friend was one of the most supportive friends to me when my Dad died.
My Dad and I, Junk food buddies. (1989)
To the person who has yet to experience loss, it is uncomfortable to deal with the sadness of someone else. The emotion is an elephant in the room, and you are unsure how to comfort and confront it. Take it from someone who has been on both sides, calling out the elephant in the room would be appreciated by the person suffering from the loss. Don’t tip toe around – call it out. Trust me, the person who is grieving will then take the reigns. In my opinion, when grieving, you really just want someone to listen, even if it means s/he will hear the same story over and over again.
Sha'nnnn'on Elizabeth and I
Oh Blogary, I didn’t mean for this to take such a somber turn. I miss my Dad, that much is true. And, perhaps because Shannon is graduating on Saturday, his birthday is hitting me harder than normal. The circle of life continues. I wish my Dad were here to celebrate it with us. And, as I watch Shannon grow into adulthood, gah – the emotions come over me again.
Blogary, please bear with me. I am writing to you instead of eating Ben & Jerry’s. You are my therapist, deal with it.
Charlie, Joe and Everett (Lindsey's son), June 2007
My mom used to take care of babies in our home. One of the babies was Lindsey, who is about 4yrs older than Shannon. And, when my Dad would see Lindsey, he would say, “Helloooo Lindsey-loopner.” [To this day, I call Lindsey, Lindsey-loopner.] I have watched both Lindsey and Shannon enter adulthood. And, both Lindsey and Shannon were a part of my Dad’s life. *sob* And, during my Dad’s funeral, Lindsey read a letter she wrote to my Mom, after my Dad died.
My Dad and I
I was 25yrs old when my Dad died. And, as I see both Lindsey and Shannon around the same age I was when my Dad died, well – I don’t know. Today is an emotional day for me. I miss my Dad, and I find it bittersweet to know Shannon is graduating college. I would love to hear my Dad say, “Sha’nnn’on Elizabeth” at her graduation. And, I would love to hear my Dad call out to Lindsey, “Helloooo, Lindsey-loopner!”
In honor of my Dad, I should eat a frozen Snickers candy bar. Those were my Dad’s favorite candy bar (bite size). Wait. Let’s be serious. In honor of my Dad, I should eat two or four frozen Snickers candy bars. My Dad never ate just one. We don’t have any Snickers in the house. Hmm… the grocery store is just around the corner.
I just explained to Joe why I was writing. This led me to explain why I was sad. Joe said, “Well, he’s not dead. He’s in heaven. You’ll see him in heaven.” I hope so, Joe. I truly hope so. In the meantime, I think Ben & Jerry are calling my name, here on earth.
Lenore's Thoughts Exactly 