Curiosity – Lenore's Thoughts Exactly

Before you read any further, please note: I over-think things.

How is this for crazy: Facebook feeds my curiosity, egotism and paranoia, while simultaneously leaving me feeling bored. Though I log on to Facebook daily, I find my interest waning. The lure of this social network is losing its luster. I long for the days of handwritten notes, direct emails and instant messages. I long for the days of actual friendships, not virtual ones. And yet, through the waned interest and lost luster, I continue my Facebook feeding frenzy.

Curiosity. I enjoy looking at pictures on Facebook, especially recent pictures taken while my friends, family and relatives were enjoying the summer in Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia. [Hurry up, Ms. Jill! I’m waiting!!] And, I enjoy keeping up with relatives and friends living out of town. Facebook makes it easy to stay in touch with a friend, who’s Mom is battling cancer. I try to make her smile each and every day, by stopping by her ‘Wall’. One day, I’ll actually show up on her doorstep. She knows this, too.

I became addicted to Facebook the instant I joined. Logging in to see who was online, what was taking place in the lives of others, who said what to whom, etc. I became so addicted, I would snap at the kids and Rob, if they interrupted me. So, in an effort to save my family (and myself), I actually had to cut the Facebook-cord for several months. However, with my family’s permission, support groups, and threads, I was able to reactivate my account and step back into the Facebook zone safely. Hmm… I started eating ice cream on a regular basis after dropping Facebook the first time. Could it be? Did I replace my Facebook addiction with ice cream? Dun dun duuun! I digress.

Curiousity and Egotism. I seem to spend more time on Facebook clicking the reload/refresh button to see if anything interesting has been posted on my Wall or included in the News Feed. I’m curious to see if someone responded to my comment about something said by someone else in response to another person’s comment about this, that or the other; or, did someone just “Like” my comment about something said by someone else in response to another person’s comment about this, that or the other? Oh, and here’s an interesting article, I must share; after all, if I find the article interesting I am certain others will find the article interesting, too. Inquiring minds want to know. Right? I must click ‘refresh’ one more time.

I’m genuinely interested in my Facebook friends, but after you’ve said hello, found out how folks are doing and checked out the photos, what more is there? It’s as if Facebook reaches an uncomfortable silence of sorts. The real friends are off interacting in the real world, while the virtual friends are left hitting ‘refresh’ and ‘reload’, looking for interaction and waiting for updates. As I have already admitted, I spend time clicking ‘refresh’ and ‘reload’. And, as I have already noted, I over-think things.

Paranoia. You find yourself chatting with the same group of people over and over again, when suddenly the frequency is reduced. You become concerned that you may have said something to upset someone in the group. However, this is Facebook, and you don’t truly know all of your Facebook friends. What do you do? And, why are you becoming obsessed – yes, obsessed – about people you don’t really know?

You don’t want to risk upsetting the apple cart by unfriending a Facebook friend or two, because that is not proper ‘virtual friend’ etiquette. Then again, you’re not invited to their reindeer games, so why stick around and see the fun that is had while you’re not around? And yet, you find yourself wondering why you aren’t invited to their reindeer games. You begin to feel your friends have excluded you and/or dislike you, but why? Wait. Why even let yourself feel this way when you don’t know the virtual friends of Facebook? Paranoia.

This past weekend, a friend of mine shared how a Facebook friend of hers posted pictures from a trip they had recently taken. The rub? Her Facebook friend was only a few miles away from her house, yet the friend did not stop by or let her know they were in town. Humph. That stings.

Expectations exists within true friendships. Friends expect their friends to be there for them in times of need, celebration, etc. Facebook seems to cloud the meaning of true friendships. Some Facebook users hold their Facebook friends to the same standards they hold their ‘real’ friends. Some Facebook users simply enjoy the ability to be a fly on the wall of their many Facebook friends. And, of course, there are other types of Facebook users who enjoy it for what it is – but what is it? And, what makes Facebook better than handwritten notes, personal emails and instant messages?

I enjoy Facebook. I do. And, there are people I’ve connected with on Facebook that I may never see again in the ‘real’ world, but I enjoy hearing from and seeing them in the virtual world. Plus, if you are having a bad day – just update your status and let folks know. The number of Facebook friends that will visit your Wall and try to lift your mood is an amazing thing to watch and experience. Plus, when it’s your birthday, assuming your birthday is listed on Facebook, your Wall becomes filled with birthday well wishes. My curiosity, egotism, and paranoia will continue to be fed by Facebook, but I think I am overdue for making a greater effort to find sustenance through the real world.

Cute + Charming + Curious = The Troubles with Charlie

We arrived at the Meet n’ Greet, which took place at the neighborhood clubhouse. It was a hot day in July, and the kids were promised a chance to swim. Unfortunately, the swimming was delayed due to a typical summertime thunderstorm. And, according to the life guard on duty, we had to stay out of the pool until 30 minutes had passed with no thunder.

Everyone was gathered in the small clubhouse, waiting out the storm. Though the kids were looking forward to swimming, they didn’t let the storms dampen their spirit. For two hours, the kids played happily indoors. I spent most of the time in a comfy chair, sitting with Joe, my 5yr old. He and I are people watchers. Rob was making his rounds, taking to heart the point of the ‘meet n’ greet’. And, Charlie, my 4yr old, was running around like Curious George, exploring any and all open doors, following the older kids all around, wooing them with his grin and staring out the windows watching the rain.

The rain and thunder did pass, shortly after we finished dinner. Once given the all clear, the kids darted out to the pool. Though Joe and Charlie are new to swimming, the two were quick to get into the pool. Joe chose to stay by the steps, while Charlie was ready to explore.

Clinging to the side of the pool, Charlie started to slide along, leaving the security of the steps. When he realized he cleared the steps, he let go of the wall and rolled on to his back, floating. I watched as he swam confidently on his back. The smile on his face made it clear he was enjoying himself. Suddenly, the once subtle waves became more intense as more kids entered the pool. Water was splashing onto Charlie’s face, and I could see his smile slowly turn to panic.

As Charlie’s panicking increased, he began to lose his bearings, which meant he no longer saw the wall. Charlie was within my arm’s reach, but rather than grab him – I bent down and tried to talk him through his fear. I told him to quiet his feet and let himself float. The waves and the splashing continued, and Charlie became more and more flustered. I admit, I was becoming a bit panicked, too.

I reached my hand out, in an attempt to grab Charlie and bring him back to the wall, but I couldn’t reach him. I turned around to Rob and said, “Get in and get him!” Rob had every intention of getting in with the boys, but he stayed back a bit, because we wanted the boys to try it out without ‘Daddy’.

Rob got a hold of Charlie and sat him on the side of the pool. Breathing a sigh of relief, I knelt beside Charlie and talked to him about what had just happened. I reminded him of the float position and keeping his feet quiet. Truthfully, Charlie wasn’t all that shaken up about it. I was the one that needed to breath into a paper bag. And, in less than five minutes, Charlie was standing up and asking Daddy to catch him as he jumped into the pool.

Charlie Checking the Water — Charlie looking at the water under the 'temporarily closed' fountain

The rest of the evening, I watched Charlie slide along the wall of the pool to the deep end several times, letting go and swimming on his back all the way to the other side. I watched Charlie get to the point where he jumped into the pool by himself and swam to the steps, got out of the pool, jumped in again, etc. And, while I watched Charlie do all of this, I noticed Joe, staying in or near the shallow end, taking few risks and only jumping when Daddy was waiting for him in the pool.

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One of our house rules is that the boys cannot come out of their room before 7Am. I enjoy quiet mornings, so I make a point to wake up and have time to myself before the boys come out of their room. Well, the next morning, while I was reading a book and drinking my coffee before the 7AM ‘release’, I could hear Charlie in his bedroom. I heard him playing with his Lincoln logs, talking to his animals and singing. Though Joe came out of his room promptly at 7AM, Charlie remained in his room.

I got up off the couch and knocked on Charlie’s door, as I started to open it. When I opened the door, I found Charlie’s shorts drawer open and empty. He had scattered the shorts all around his room, looking for the perfect pair to wear. And, I found Charlie, standing on shelving in his closet, picking out the perfect shirt to wear with his perfect shorts.

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With Joe starting Kindergarten a week from today, Charlie will be the ‘big kid on campus’ at Suzann’s house. Charlie has been Joe’s shadow for most of his 4yrs. However, based upon his independent exploration at the Meet n’ Greet, Charlie is ready to spread his wings. Charlie is curious. Charlie is a doer. Charlie is an explorer. What’s worse – Charlie is a charmer. Charlie’s characteristics make me smile, perhaps nervously. I cannot help but wonder about my ‘potential’ troubles with Charlie.

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