Today, I walked to “The Point”, a place where I would visit as a teen with my friends and cousins. My cousin and I spent countless hours at The Point. It was our escape during our family’s annual summer vacation to the Shore, which is Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia, Canada.  After many years, I’ve returned, an adult with my own family, to a place where memories of my past summers continue to reside. But, before I tell you more about “The Point”, I need to tell you how I got from my home outside of Atlanta, Georgia to Amherst Shore, Nova Scotia.

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This summer I was determined to get us all back to the Shore for a couple of weeks to visit my family and friends. It is a trip we have taken two previous times as a family, though it is a trip I took with my parents seemingly every year from birth through high school. Our boys are in college now, so family trips are not as easily organized, because it competes with many other life obligations and adventures.

As we ventured out on the three-day drive North to the Shore, I constantly reminded myself that “this summer will be different”. And, if I am being honest, I tried to reassure myself of that reality in the several weeks leading up to the trip. In fact, knowing it was going to be different prevented me from fully committing to the trip until the day we pulled out of our driveway.

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Looking towards the cottages from a cluster of rocks formerly known as “The Point”.

The Point was referred to by some as Pride Rock, because it was a large rock that jutted out of a bank, overlooking the water and rocks below it. Similar to Pride Rock in the Lion King, which overlooked the prairie. Finding either The Point or Pride Rock proved impossible, because years of natural erosion caused by hurricanes and harsh winters have changed the bank significantly. What exists now is less a Point and more a cluster of rocks in various sizes. As I explored the area, I looked for names carved in the rocks. It was a tradition to walk to The Point during the summer and carve your name in the rock, perhaps even mentioning the crush of the summer.  And while I found recent carvings of names I barely recognized, I did not find any of my carvings from years past.

These rocks were the rocks you wanted to remain in your life. These rocks made your life seem lighter and more enjoyable. Outside of the Shore, the rocks are heavier and weigh you down. It is different on so many levels, much like the memories I have neatly packed away of my past summers at the Shore.

Unpacking past summer memories here at the Shore includes times spent with my closest cousin, who no longer makes the trip, my Aunt Thelma, who died several years ago, and my Mom, as it is her favorite place. Unfortunately, my Mom’s memories of the Shore are quickly fading away. Her memory is being robbed by the rock of dementia, and she is no longer able to travel. So, while some of my siblings and cousins are at the Shore with me, my closet cousin, my aunts, and my uncles are not. And, while I am staying in my Mom’s cottage, she is not.

For better or worse I enjoy being at The Point and sitting among the rocks. There is a part of me who is stuck in my teenage years, and I like that person. I do not want to let go of her. But, for the first time in a long time, this summer has me feeling like I am becoming a new person. The Point, like me, has changed through the years and weathered many storms. We’re different now. And while I was dreading the trip and having to experience the sad “firsts” that come with getting older and losing loved ones, I felt the sense that I was ready to move forward. Because, again, I remind myself that this summer will be different.

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My Mom and I are similar in many ways – both good and bad. While at the Shore, Mum tended to stay at her cottage most of the day, enjoying her space and her solitude. When she ventured out, she would usually go see her sister down the beach. Aunt Thelma’s cottage was located “on the main drag”, which simply means many other cottages surrounded it. The cottages were filled with families who shared the same history – coming to the Shore time and time again, making roots and creating memories. Mum and Aunt Thelma would sit in the cottage, read the paper, chat, and enjoy the solitude together. Because it’s the Shore, there were periods of visiting with friends and families, as they walked by – or when the two would go down to the beach and walk the ‘bars’. The tides of Nova Scotia are extreme, and when the tide is out, many sandbars are exposed, setting the stage for long walks.

I have the same ‘solitude’ nature as Mum. I do enjoy being in her cottage, off the main drag. I do enjoy walking her property and smelling the fresh air, filled with salt and sweet hay. It’s peaceful. But I think my solitude nature exists because I am scared to venture out on my own. Meeting people and small talk are not among my favorite things. I quite suck at both. But, as I went on my walks, I found that I would stop to chat with people. And the more I walked, the more I would stop and chat. That was the biggest change for me this summer. Without my cousin, without my closest Aunt, and without Mum, I stepped out of one version of me and stepped into a new version, which – and this surprised me – seemed more authentic.

While I miss my cousin and my Aunt desperately, I feel like I rely (relied) on them for more than just friendship. They are (were) my security blankets. Now that they are gone, I am forced to rely on myself. And perhaps more surprising was the fact that even with three of my sisters at the Shore, I no longer felt the need to seek them for security.

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Even four months later, as I prepare this for posting, there is much to unpack from my trip to the Shore this past summer. I have a feeling I will be reflecting on it for years to come. For now, I am grateful I was able to connect with people I barely talked to in summers past. While it may have just a been a passing chat for them, it was so much more to me. I stepped out of my comfort zone – stepped out of the box that I either stepped in myself or was put in by others – and I was a more authentic version of myself.

Christa. Stefanie. Amanda. Lilia. Tanis. Luke. Vincent. Catherine. Loren. Peter. Michelle. Rachel. Kelly. Susan. Just a few of the names of people I have seen for many years over the course of my life, but I did not really ‘know’. I won’t say that I know them now, because one can only learn so much during a few short random chats. Still, I stepped into those random chats on my own accord, and that was a big step for me. Here’s to stepping out of more boxes.

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Summerside, Prince Edward Island: The setting for This Summer Will Be Different.

“This Summer Will Be Different” is a book by Carley Fortune, which I listened to as I strolled the sandbars and reminisced on past summers. A friend suggested I listen to the audio book, claiming it was the “perfect read” for my trip. The book takes place in Summerside, Prince Edward Island, Canada, which is the province directly across from and easily visible to us at the Shore. She thought the setting and family plot would fit along nicely with my family’s trip. Little did she know. While my life may not be as exciting as a fictional character, I found so much of myself in the main character: her love of Canada’s Eastern provinces, her complicated relationship with her mom, and the heartache she experiences when she loses her aunt, who was also her best friend. I might not have had a steamy love affair with a handsome young man (though my husband is handsome), but my love affair with the Shore was rekindled. Yes, this summer was different. It was exactly what I needed.

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P.S. Special thanks to my friend, Lana, who was my own personal editor for this post. She was also the friend who recommended the book. Thank you, Lana. I am grateful for the time and feedback you gave me, and I am really glad you recommended the book.