Category: Phase 3 of X

Many phases exist in life. Strictly speaking on the subject of family, I consider infancy Phase 1 and toddler hood is Phase 2. Once kids start school, parents enter Phase 3. How many Phases in parenthood? Who knows. But, I am going to talk about my experience within these phases.

Round and round it goes; where it stops no one knows

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

It’s risky. Me writing this late in the day. The caffeine that gave me the pleasant perk of the morning is long gone. The chipper moods of the kids have changed to cranky,  while my energy level slowly sinks with the setting sun. What makes me think I have the wherewithal to write now? Then again, what makes me think I have the wherewithal to write at all on any given day?

Tonight, right now, I write as an outlet. I need an outlet. Don’t we all need outlets of some sort? Typically, my outlet consists of the delicious dairy delight called ‘ice cream’. However, because I am determined to be ice cream free for 40 days, I do not want to pacify myself with the frozen delicacy. So, I write. [Day 8, by the way. I’ve gone 8 days so far.]

Today, when I picked up my oldest from Kindergarten, his teacher informed me he had an ‘incident’. Seems my child became upset about something, and he threw a peppercorn at one of the teachers. Sports aside, throwing something at someone is not acceptable. Now, add to the fact that the peppercorn thrown by my child got stuck in the teacher’s ear, and well my child did not win any awards today. It’s a shame the “Peppercorn Toss” was last week.

My oldest has a temper. I have written about his temper in previous posts. And, as I have also mentioned previously, he gets his temper from me. My reaction to his behavior today was embarrassment at first. After quickly overcoming the embarrassment, I was sad. A temper is a horrible waste of energy, and the damage that a temper can cause is extensive. I don’t want a temper filled life for either of my boys. And, I hope this isn’t an indication of things to come.

I remind myself that my son is only five years old, as if there is an acceptable age to throw things. I tell myself that the art of peppercorn tossing is underrated. And, I doubt my son would be able to throw the peppercorn in the teacher’s ear, if he were to try again. Unless she is a TWEOUS, Teachers with ears of unusual size. But I digress. Oh, and before I forget, the peppercorn was successfully removed from the TWEOUS’ ear.

My son was punished for throwing the peppercorn. When we came home from school, he went to his room, where he spent the rest of the day. And, he wrote a letter to the teacher saying he was sorry for what happened. He lost a few other privileges as well, in hopes we drove the point home, without throwing him for a loop. (HA! Sorry, a little throw humor.)

The hardest part about tonight was my son’s frustration, once home. Upset he was banished to his room, he took the opportunity to yell a little, cry a little and pound a little. Okay, okay, so he did all of the above more than just a little. The thing that got me was his yelling, “Why don’t you love me?” “Why don’t you like me?” He was breaking my heart. And again, I remind myself he is only five years old. Wait. Five years old?! Why is he saying stuff like this at five years old? Where’s the ice cream. I need some ice cream.

After supper, things started settling down, well things settled some, okay things settled a little – okay fine, the banished one was still upset. I phoned a friend, and I started to tell her about my day. When I mentioned what the banished one had done, she laughed and said, “Oh, just wait. You’ll be able to laugh about this soon.” Then I heard crying on her end of the phone, causing her to ask “What happened?” She let me know that one of her kids had just kicked the other kid. And, we laughed. Laughter sure beats ice cream, at least calorically speaking. Peppercorns anyone?

Whose Phase Is It Anyway?

~ Lenore Diane ~ 4 Comments

When I created the category ‘Phase 3 of X on my blog’, my intent was to focus on the phases experienced by Joe and Charlie. The boys have traveled through the infant phase and toddler phase, and now Joe has entered the Kindergarten phase. As a result, I wanted a place to write about the various cycles and developments. However, as the 2nd week of Kindergarten comes to a close, I can’t help but ask, “Whose phase is it anyway?”

Joe’s first day was uneventful. The days that followed his first day were equally uneventful; that is, the time he spent at a new school and in a new environment were uneventful. At home? Not so uneventful. And, this is the part where I step in and realize, I have entered a new phase; it is called the ‘My child is home with me more’ phase. Um. How long will this phase last?

Yeah, I’ve already written about having to adjust to working at home with a child in the house. But, what about not working at home with a child in the house? Though I am readily available for my boss and coworkers 8hrs a day Monday – Friday, I have a great deal of ‘free’ time to tackle chores and – frankly – do nothing.  And, when my kids were in day-care, they spent a full day in day-care (8am – 5pm). When I got the boys home, I’d have them in bed within 3hrs. So, aside from weekends, there wasn’t much time (or cause) for trouble and discipline.

Earlier this week, I went out to dinner with a friend of mine. She was laughing at me and teasing me about my cushy (time-wise) life of having the boys gone a full day, while I was home working a flexible job. And now – NOW I have a kid with me from 2:30 until bedtime. ACK! What?! I actually have to take care of my kid more than three hours a weekday? Seriously? I suppose you are going to tell me I have to interact with my child, too.

Thank goodness, at least for one more year, I don’t have to pick up my 2nd child until 5pm. I cannot imagine being home with both boys for for so many hours prior to bedtime. I mean, after I give my job 5hrs in a day, I have enough flexibility to do whatever I want with the remaining day (provided my boss can reach me). Just last month, I spent many hours watching and enjoying several movies in the afternoon before picking the boys up at daycare. Now how will I get through my queue of 314 movies on Netflix? Huh? And, they are just about to release the 2009 season of Dexter! When am I suppose to fit that in the schedule? Hmmm … is it wrong to have a 5yr old child watch a drama about a serial killer who only kills serial killers? At least Dexter is killing mean people, right?

And Oprah. This is Oprah’s last season! How am I going to watch O-o-0-o-oprah, when my kid is home with me?! Craziness people. Whose phase is this anyway? And, how long does it last?

Now if you’ll excuse me, my son has homework. We have to read a book together; rather he has to read the book, and I have to observe. You’d think the school would send home something more interesting like “Kiss Me If You Can” by Carly Phillips. But no, we have to read “Babe, the Big Hit” about an elephant in a circus, and I’m guessing there will be no romance. Maybe next week?

The Troubles with Charlie

~ Lenore Diane ~ Leave a comment

Cute + Charming + Curious = The Troubles with Charlie

We arrived at the Meet n’ Greet, which took place at the neighborhood clubhouse. It was a hot day in July, and the kids were promised a chance to swim. Unfortunately, the swimming was delayed due to a typical summertime thunderstorm. And, according to the life guard on duty, we had to stay out of the pool until 30 minutes had passed with no thunder.

Everyone was gathered in the small clubhouse, waiting out the storm. Though the kids were looking forward to swimming, they didn’t let the storms dampen their spirit. For two hours, the kids played happily indoors. I spent most of the time in a comfy chair, sitting with Joe, my 5yr old. He and I are people watchers. Rob was making his rounds, taking to heart the point of the ‘meet n’ greet’. And, Charlie, my 4yr old, was running around like Curious George, exploring any and all open doors, following the older kids all around, wooing them with his grin and staring out the windows watching the rain.

The rain and thunder did pass, shortly after we finished dinner. Once given the all clear, the kids darted out to the pool. Though Joe and Charlie are new to swimming, the two were quick to get into the pool. Joe chose to stay by the steps, while Charlie was ready to explore.

Clinging to the side of the pool, Charlie started to slide along, leaving the security of the steps. When he realized he cleared the steps, he let go of the wall and rolled on to his back, floating. I watched as he swam confidently on his back. The smile on his face made it clear he was enjoying himself. Suddenly, the once subtle waves became more intense as more kids entered the pool. Water was splashing onto Charlie’s face, and I could see his smile slowly turn to panic.

As Charlie’s panicking increased, he began to lose his bearings, which meant he no longer saw the wall. Charlie was within my arm’s reach, but rather than grab him – I bent down and tried to talk him through his fear. I told him to quiet his feet and let himself float. The waves and the splashing continued, and Charlie became more and more flustered. I admit, I was becoming a bit panicked, too.

I reached my hand out, in an attempt to grab Charlie and bring him back to the wall, but I couldn’t reach him. I turned around to Rob and said, “Get in and get him!” Rob had every intention of getting in with the boys, but he stayed back a bit, because we wanted the boys to try it out without ‘Daddy’.

Rob got a hold of Charlie and sat him on the side of the pool. Breathing a sigh of relief, I knelt beside Charlie and talked to him about what had just happened. I reminded him of the float position and keeping his feet quiet. Truthfully, Charlie wasn’t all that shaken up about it. I was the one that needed to breath into a paper bag. And, in less than five minutes, Charlie was standing up and asking Daddy to catch him as he jumped into the pool.

Charlie looking at the water under the 'temporarily closed' fountain

The rest of the evening, I watched Charlie slide along the wall of the pool to the deep end several times, letting go and swimming on his back all the way to the other side. I watched Charlie get to the point where he jumped into the pool by himself and swam to the steps, got out of the pool, jumped in again, etc. And, while I watched Charlie do all of this, I noticed Joe, staying in or near the shallow end, taking few risks and only jumping when Daddy was waiting for him in the pool.

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One of our house rules is that the boys cannot come out of their room before 7Am. I enjoy quiet mornings, so I make a point to wake up and have time to myself before the boys come out of their room. Well, the next morning, while I was reading a book and drinking my coffee before the 7AM ‘release’, I could hear Charlie in his bedroom. I heard him playing with his Lincoln logs, talking to his animals and singing. Though Joe came out of his room promptly at 7AM, Charlie remained in his room.

I got up off the couch and knocked on Charlie’s door, as I started to open it. When I opened the door, I found Charlie’s shorts drawer open and empty. He had scattered the shorts all around his room, looking for the perfect pair to wear. And, I found Charlie, standing on shelving in his closet, picking out the perfect shirt to wear with his perfect shorts.

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With Joe starting Kindergarten a week from today, Charlie will be the ‘big kid on campus’ at Suzann’s house. Charlie has been Joe’s shadow for most of his 4yrs. However, based upon his independent exploration at the Meet n’ Greet, Charlie is ready to spread his wings. Charlie is curious. Charlie is a doer. Charlie is an explorer. What’s worse – Charlie is a charmer. Charlie’s characteristics make me smile, perhaps nervously. I cannot help but wonder about my ‘potential’ troubles with Charlie.